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Beer theories

Old 10-02-2009, 08:23 PM
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Default Beer theories

this was sent to mee in an e mail







These were intelligent people – except maybe Leo Durocher - - -




Beer Theories


Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."



Babe Ruth
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."



Lyndon B. Johnson


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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Paul Horning


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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

H. L. Mencken


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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

George Bernard Shaw


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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin


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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry


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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!

W. C. Fields


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Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

Professor Irwin Corey


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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in a can!

Leo Durocher


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One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:

"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Old 10-02-2009, 08:47 PM
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It is all true and perhaps one of the most under-appreciated blessings of human invention as long as it is not misused.
Old 10-02-2009, 09:20 PM
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Originally Posted by LI Sound Grunt View Post
It is all true and perhaps one of the most under-appreciated blessings of human invention as long as it is not misused.
no matter what is invented someone will and probably already has found a way to misuse it
Old 10-02-2009, 09:33 PM
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That is so very funny stuff!

Personally, i don't drink beer -- can't stand the stuff but lots of folks enjoy it, must be a reason why.
Old 10-02-2009, 09:56 PM
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Read the thread and opened a beer!

Life is good!
Old 10-02-2009, 11:27 PM
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Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

my favorite one
i love budweiser .. the only thing i drink
Old 10-02-2009, 11:37 PM
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Originally Posted by THT Mod 4 View Post
Read the thread and opened a beer!

Life is good!

it is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Old 10-03-2009, 02:01 AM
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I don't know about the others, but the B. Franklin quote is BS. He never said (or wrote) that.
Old 10-03-2009, 08:39 AM
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Beer was invented to prevent the Irish from ruling the world!
Old 10-03-2009, 08:49 AM
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Originally Posted by davepen View Post
I don't know about the others, but the B. Franklin quote is BS. He never said (or wrote) that.
Well thanks, I'll never trust another email joke again
Old 10-03-2009, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by DrJim View Post
Well thanks, I'll never trust another email joke again
Be careful, or Bill Gates won't send you a thousand dollars.
Old 10-03-2009, 09:23 AM
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I guess davepen use to hang with Ben and kept track of all of his sayings?
Old 10-03-2009, 09:31 AM
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Default That's Funny!!!

I don't care who you are..................That's Funny!
Old 10-03-2009, 10:15 AM
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This is making me thirsty!
Old 10-03-2009, 10:17 AM
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I love that "when I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading. "
classic.


WC Fields to Bartender: Was I here last night and did I spend 50.00 at the bar?

Bartender: of course you were


WC Fields: Good , I thought I lost it.



Old 10-03-2009, 10:21 AM
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Hey, read the thread, looked at the clock, realized it's past noon. Alright
Old 10-03-2009, 10:25 AM
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
WC Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast.
WC Fields

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
WC Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
WC Fields
Old 10-03-2009, 10:33 AM
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Keith Richards when he was asked how he would eat after major dental surgery:


Keith: You don't chew smoke or beer.
Old 10-03-2009, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by kloweree View Post
Keith Richards when he was asked how he would eat after major dental surgery:


Keith: You don't chew smoke or beer.
Old 10-03-2009, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by davepen View Post
I don't know about the others, but the B. Franklin quote is BS. He never said (or wrote) that.

you may not think so, but it's kind of stuck with him....
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Benjamin Franklin quotes (American Statesman, Scientist, Philosopher, Printer, Writer and Inventor. 1706-1790)


and...

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

Frank Sinatra quotes (American Actor and Singer, 1915-1998)

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