The Gorilla

Old 04-06-2009, 03:26 PM
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Default The Gorilla

A gorilla escaped and found it's way into a tree in a family's back yard. The owner looked in the Yellow Pages under Gorilla Removers and found "Acme Gorilla Removers". He called and was assured that they would be right over.

When he arrived, he was in a yellow pickup truck that had "Acme Gorilla Removers" on the side with a cage in the back. He also had an "Acme Gorilla Removers" shirt on. He got out of the truck and had a baseball bat, a shotgun, a piece of rope, and a mean assed looking dog. He sat the dog down at the base of the tree along with the rope, handed the owner of the house the shotgun and started to climb the tree with the baseball bat.

The owner asked "What are you doing?"

"Well, I'm going up the tree and I'm going to knock the Gorilla out of the tree. When he hits the ground, that dog is trained to get a crotch hold on him that will temporarily paralyze him. Then, we tie him up with the rope and throw him in the cage".

The owner asked "What's this shotgun for?"

"Well, if that Gorilla knocks me out of the tree I want you to shoot that godamed dog".
Old 04-06-2009, 03:29 PM
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Old 04-06-2009, 04:34 PM
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Now's that's funny right there now
Old 04-06-2009, 04:58 PM
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:r ofl:
Old 04-08-2009, 05:18 PM
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Cool Monkey in the bar

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, grabs a stool at the bar, puts his monkey on the stool next to him

The monkey jumps up and runs to the pool table grabs the eight ball and swallows it.

The bartender get irate and starts yelling at the guy and throws him and the monkey out.

A week latter the guy walks back into the bar with the monkey and the barkeep says any funny business with that stikin monkey and your outta here.

There is a basket of peanuts and a jar of pickled eggs on the bar, and the money grabs a peanut sticks it up his butt and eats it. The barkeep keeps quiet and is giving the fish eye to the monkey. The monkey grabs a egg out of the jar sticks it up his butt and eats it.

Now the barkeep and the other patrons can't keep quiet and ask the guy, " why that money keep sticking everything up his butt and eats it" ?

The guy say since he ate the eight ball he sticks everything up his butt first to see if it will make the trip pain free, cause it took him 3 hours to get the whole ball out the last time.
Old 04-08-2009, 05:55 PM
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