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Man Law

Old 03-06-2009, 09:18 AM
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Default Man Law

The Man Law



These are our Laws!
Please note,these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Sunday sports/ boating/ fishing: It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down..

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are..
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really ..

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as boats, engines, fishing, boobs.....

1. You have enough clothes.

1.. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Man laws can be changed, adjusted, modified without prior notice to those it may effect.





Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh.

Feel free to add to the "Man Laws"
Old 03-06-2009, 09:27 AM
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this is great! print out a copy and post it on the fridge. i did and now i am on a diet. no dinner for me but thats ok, i was planning on drinking my dinner anyway.
Old 03-06-2009, 11:18 AM
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Old 03-06-2009, 11:32 AM
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1. Playing Halo is exercise.

Randy
Old 03-06-2009, 11:48 AM
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them are good'uns!
Old 03-06-2009, 12:12 PM
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1. Do not speak to us while we are utilizing the urinal in a public restroom. We will not answer.
Old 03-06-2009, 12:27 PM
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This was posted o n my daughter's Facebook page. The title was "Who needs colonge when you can smell like engine oil?"

I am very proud of raising my 3 girls to appreciate "Men".

My Son-in-Law owes me Big Time!!!

"It's time to celebrate the birthday of our favorite beer-brewing, guitar shredding, Indiana native/ bronco repairman.
This Saturday night, we'll have a party at our house. As you might expect, it's gonna be a theme party. The theme is "MAN." There will be a grand prize available to the manliest person at the party. This will be determined by your costume, choice of beverage, and just in general by how hilarious you are.
What are you gonna dress up as? Joe Dirt? Joe Montana? Janet Reno?
What are you going to be drinking? Whiskey? Beer? Moonshine? Orc draught?

The possibilities are endless! We'll see you all on Saturday!
-Katie"
Old 03-06-2009, 12:36 PM
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1. If we are using power tools and you ask us a question from across the room don't expect us to hear you. So don't get upset because we don't answer.
Old 03-06-2009, 02:26 PM
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1. I don't question how many shoes you have so don't question how many fishing rods I have.

1. Never give an exact time you will return from a manly activity to meet her and her parents for dinner.

1. "Yes" that mud did come from my boots and I will clean it all up at one time after all of it has fell off.

1. You have you frequent shoppers card from, Giant, Safeway and Acme and I have mine from Bass Pro, West Marine, Boaters World, Cabelas, Gander Mountain, LL Bean, Dicks, Riverside Marine, Marine Max, Baltimore Harley, Propgods, Mercury, Sears Craftsman, Joe's Bar and Grill.........
I'm just trying to save money like a good man should.
Old 03-06-2009, 02:32 PM
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Originally Posted by 240 LTS View Post
1. Never give an exact time you will return from a manly activity to meet her and her parents for dinner.
.
I'm writing that one down It has bit me way to many times
Old 03-06-2009, 04:47 PM
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1. Don't tell me when you are ready to go... I'll pick up on it when you move toward the door with your coat on.
Old 03-06-2009, 05:05 PM
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Originally Posted by ken2 View Post
I'm writing that one down It has bit me way to many times
I did that ONE time returning from fishing and I was late by 10-15 minutes when we were dating or just married. You would have thought the world was coming to an end, not so much with my wife but her parents. After that night I told her "I will NEVER give you an exact time that I will be back from somewhere ever again." I always give a 30-60 minute range. It has worked great for both of us for 25 years.
Old 03-06-2009, 08:55 PM
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Well said, 240.
Old 03-06-2009, 09:03 PM
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My wife just tells me to be safe and have fun. If she asks when I'll be home I usually reply, "Just half a day fishing ,honey. A full day is 24 hours so you do the math."

But really, she's just worried and I do try to give her an ETA so she can send out the rescue squad if I'm really late and haven't checked in.
Old 03-06-2009, 09:15 PM
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Originally Posted by fishnutz View Post
1. Do not speak to us while we are utilizing the urinal in a public restroom. We will not answer.

Speaking of which - I do believe there should be an anti-man law when guys sit on the commode in public restrooms answering and talking on the cell phone. And flushing while they are talkng to boot.

Get a life already!

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