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Move South???

Old 10-31-2007, 01:09 PM
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Default Move South???

Let me post some personal information for some feedback to get some outside perspectives....

My wife approached me last night about moving the family south. This has to do with health issues for our two daughters. Both have severe allergies and suffer from Asthma. We just had to spend our second night at the doctors this year due to colds leading to an attack. This one was on our 18 month old. (last winter our older daughter was shipped from our local hospital to Johns Hopkins in Balt because the hospital in Annapolis doesnt have a childrens ICU and the hospital was getting concerned). She was born in Myrtle Beach SC and has some family there and it is where we met as we both graduated from Coastal Carolina Univ. However, she was mentioning somewhere in FLA or along the Gulf Coast.

I love the south and do hate cold weather. However, here are my main objections (not in any priority order)...

1. I have a great paying job where I am well vested into the company. I have been here over 10 years and am one of the top reps in the company. I have even signed on to incentive plan that is paid for by the company that will result in a nice benefit if I stay an additional 15 years (life insurance policy).
2. we just moved into another home that we really like. It isnt our dream waterfront home but it really suits our family's needs with a lot of community amenities and it still does have a water view.
3. we do love the area. we are 20 min form baltimore and 30 min from DC (without traffic ) Downtown Annapolis is part of our family. We love the bay and the bay lifestyle. The culture around here is our family's culture.
4. Family support. Her parents and brother's family live in the area and we get a lot of support raising our kids from them. My family is in NJ and only a 2 hour drive away. They are a good part of our children's lives.
5. Finally we are getting some stability back after a house fire a year and a half ago. Between the house fire, move, and having a 3rd child our oldest son has been through a lot of change. I worry about the stresses on him and our other children over such a drastic change. I also worry about the stresses that it would put on the relationship with my wife as I know all change can lead to additional stress.
6. We dont really know the area at all to see where and what we like.


The good part is that because this area is so expensive to live in, that I may be able to find an area a lot less expensive to live and could possibly move to an area where we wouldnt have to carry a mortgage or at least a small one.

I am short on time and will add more thoughts later but that is a quick summary.. Outside perspective would nice..
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Old 10-31-2007, 01:23 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

A woman I used to work with moved to FL Gulf coast for exactly the reasons you mention - kid or kids with asthma, there's a theory that even miniscule air pollution form coal-fired generating plants aggravates the asthma, and FL Gulf coast has some of the cleanest air in the country. She still works via telecommuting, I believe. I can probably dig up an e-mail address for you if you'd like.......
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Old 10-31-2007, 01:39 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

Thats a tough one B! I can tell you this, if the allergies are really bad in fall, as is common around here, it's because that is when they cut the corn. What have the doctors said about treatment for the asthma. I can tell you this too...................... you can have SW Fla! Nice place to visit but I would NEVER move back. But thats me. I met a small handful of genuinely nice, down to earth people, but everybody else was so stuck on themselves and what "everyone else" was doing and saying it was sickening. Feel free to PM me for more input. Good luck with your decision, it's a tough one.
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Old 10-31-2007, 02:02 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

When I lived in PA, my allergies were so bad I had to get a shot in each arm every week just so I could breathe and be able to sleep at night. When I decided to move to SW Fla, I asked my allergist about continuing the serum therapy down south. He said don't bother because you won't be exposed to anything you're allergic to in the serum, plus you may not be exposed to things you are allergic to. Four years later I haven't seen an allergist since. However, in your case it would be tough to leave the family surroundings you have going for you. I didn't have that problem because my parents had just passed away and the kids got jobs in other cities.
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Old 10-31-2007, 02:40 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

I moved my family from Ohio to North Carolina a year ago August. When my company offered me a job in the Carolinas i went home and discussed it with the family. We all agreed and started the process. Well, here we are a little over a year later and guess what part of the family wants to move back. They miss the rest of the family really bad and want to go back. Now, you mentioned allergies. Mine were bad in Ohio but near non existant here. The wife and the girls are worse than they were up north. My wife was nevered bothered by anything and now, in the fall, she is miserable. Its a tough call to pick up and move away from family and friends thats for sure. If I were to have to had changed companies like your describing, I'd still be in Ohio. I would think real heard on moving away. Good luck.
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Old 10-31-2007, 02:43 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

....how could you hate the cold NE weather???? It brings a charater to living that you cant find anywhere else!
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Old 10-31-2007, 02:50 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

I would make double dog sure that the locale you are planning to move to would indeed be better. Take visits and get some real world evidence that the great majority of people with type of allergies have seen improvement due to the move.

Good Luck
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Old 10-31-2007, 02:56 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

Its odd thatyou mention Florida. I was born and raised in North Fla, Tallahassee. I had tremendous asthma and allergies growing up. Tally is wet muggy cold hot rainy in the winter just miserable. The summers are stifiling hot and muggy. I have lived in Sofla for about 10years and never had an allergic reaction since leaving tally. In fact we go back often and I do not have anymore allergic reactions. I could not speak for living on the coast in the panhandle as I have only fished there.
Sofla has its downside , traffic ins taxes all suck. I have never lived in South Carolina or NC but the coastal areas would be more appealing to me. Plus if you are working for a local company or your involved in local business the pay scale is not what you get in Annapolis.
The upside lots of water activities, The housing market is soft. You should do well buying down here moving from MD.
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Old 10-31-2007, 03:21 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

Victory 1 - 10/31/2007 2:43 PM

....how could you hate the cold NE weather???? It brings a charater to living that you cant find anywhere else!
That is exactly why I go to the mountains for 2 weeks over Christmas.
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Old 10-31-2007, 04:05 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

CayoHueso - 10/31/2007 3:21 PM

Victory 1 - 10/31/2007 2:43 PM

....how could you hate the cold NE weather???? It brings a charater to living that you cant find anywhere else!
That is exactly why I go to the mountains for 2 weeks over Christmas.
Where you and Adam T rent a cabin...
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Old 10-31-2007, 06:11 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

pick a area in S florida and go visit the schools and police dept.
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Old 10-31-2007, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

move to Arizona and take up fresh water fishing. the allergies will go away but the fish are smaller then again so are the boats
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Old 10-31-2007, 06:22 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

Oak and mold are pretty high here. My allergies bug me ever fall and spring. The humid weather can't be good for asthma. But it sure beats the cold weather.
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Old 10-31-2007, 07:25 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

Cracker - 10/31/2007 4:05 PM

CayoHueso - 10/31/2007 3:21 PM

Victory 1 - 10/31/2007 2:43 PM

....how could you hate the cold NE weather???? It brings a charater to living that you cant find anywhere else!
That is exactly why I go to the mountains for 2 weeks over Christmas.
Where you and Adam T rent a cabin...
Actually no. I have a cabin that my son and I spent a year building. It's at 9,500' in a ski resort in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains in Northern New Mexico. To the best of my knowledge Adam has never been there, but he and his lovely wife are welcome anytime.

This is it

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Old 10-31-2007, 07:48 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

B, given your current lifestyle and means, I gotta believe there's a medical solution to help address the kids' issues that's within your budget. I'm sure you've done a lot of research. A lot of the things you mention of value in your story (family interaction, etc.) are irreplaceable -- as is your children's health. Not losing sight of that.

But there may be a lot of trade-offs in the move that you won't be able to assess or quantify until you lose them.

That being said, I don't envy you, brother. That's a tough call.

But I just had an idea. I've gotten the sense from other posts you've made that you work for a regional company.

Do you have a chance to establish a new geography for them with your move?
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Old 10-31-2007, 07:55 PM
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Default Re: Move South???

Difficult decision. It will be tough moving that far away from your families (I have done it and it really complicates your life). Being two hours or less away makes life much easier. The Carolinas will be great to live in, but I am not so sure about bringing young children up in Florida (I have a brother and sister who live/lived there). You may decide you need private schools for your kids. Your outdoor lifestyle will be much better farther South and it will be less crowded in most areas (not all), but you will give up access to much culture, the better medical facilities here, the ability to spend a lot of time with your parents (they won't be around forever), the ability to assist your parents as they grow older, the rude, self-centered people , etc. Having to fly to BWI and drive further to visit will get old with young children.

You don't say how much experience you have with the asthma and whether you have a good pediatric allergist. It takes some time to get used to managing the asthma and catching the problems before they become significant. I assume you have a home nebulizer (that travels with you) and a stethoscope so you can tell when the kid starts wheezing. We have done the overnight stays in hospitals 3 or 4 times so I know what you are going through, but we have a pretty good handle on the situation. After the first couple of times, you learn to catch problems as soon as the kid's chest becomes tight and he/she starts wheezing. You (probably your wife) usually can catch it by upping the nebulizer treatments (the hospitals are using the same medicines for treatment, although they have the option of administering steroids if necessary and you can't do that). You need a good pediatric allergist if you don't have one.

You will introduce additional employment risk. Is there any chance you could stay with your current employer while working out of NC, SC or FL? This would help with some on the complications of moving.

I would take my time in making the decision, taking some exploratory visits to places you think you might want to live. You should also check out real estate prices as if you were shopping for a home. Although Annapolis is expensive, you might find that desirable places in the Carolinas and Florida near the water aren't that much cheaper. Why not spend a year working on it, taking some long weekends and perhaps even a week trip to some areas and look around, checking out real estate prices (actually visit homes and talk with people in the neighborhoods), schools, police (as noted by the poster above), general business opportunities, medical facilities, and the like. You can probably get some good tips and information here once you identify 3-4 places you would consider moving.

Good luck and keep asking for input.
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Old 10-31-2007, 08:06 PM
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Default RE: Move South???

Stay put friend!

The family network alone is worth it.

Everyone has health issues and what if YOU got bad allergies when you move to
your new place? Then everyone is screwed. The grass often looks greener else where.

If you can't move to a new place, earn more money and have a lower cost of living...

See where I'm getting at?

Good luck and Best Wishes!
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Old 11-01-2007, 03:55 AM
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Default Re: Move South???

If there was relief for my kids medical problems I would already be there, no questions asked. My career and hobbies would take a very distant 2nd place to the health and well being of my children.

That aside, before doing so, I would be damn sure that the place you'd be going does offer them relief from their ailments.
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Old 11-01-2007, 04:17 AM
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Default RE: Move South???

Other than the initial cost to buy a house on the water, the cost of living on the coastline from NC to GA is extremely reasonable. If you don't need a house on the water, the total cost of living becomes even more advantageous. If you fly for a living you need to limit your SE choices to those places with decent airports (Wilmington, Charleston, Savannah). I don't know if moving south will help the medical condition of your kids, I do know they will be a heck of lot warmer living in the south. Good luck on this decision. I would suggest if you are serious about this move, take a vacation and visit the area and see what reaction you get from your family. As to the family support issues......it's nice but it isn't required. We raised our kids in ATL and the closest relative is 250 miles away, with the other part of the family 400 miles away......it builds character to do it on your own......and we didn't have to go to 1000 command performance meals that our siblings had to.
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Old 11-01-2007, 06:01 AM
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Default Re: Move South???

Not sure on the asthma, but the allergies can be just as bad or worse down here in the Carolinas. Really depends on what they are allergic too, but there is a whole lot of plant life and humidity down here to keep the molds and fungi going gangbusters.

It will depend on what is setting off their asthma as well. I had it as a kid in Arizona and never had problems anywhere else, something to do with either the dust or the alfalfa out there. Other people actually move to AZ to get over asthma, so each person is different in that regard.

Other than the winters, Annapolis has got to be one of the prettiest places to live (if you can tolerate sailboats) and the bay fishing is very good. I've only been on one trip to Myrtle Beach last year - over developed tourist trap is how I would describe it. A lot of the formerly nice coastal areas have gone that way (or like Duck, NC, which is less tourist trap and more overpriced/overbuilt vacation home area), and waterfront housing costs nearly as much as it does up there.

Heck, you may even find allergens etc. totally different down in Calvert or St. Mary's county (MD) than up in Annapolis if their problems are city related. A little more commute for you, but not as big a change as moving out of state.

Spend some time looking in person before you decide to move, it could save you a lot of heartaches.
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