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How NOT to Rope a Deer

Old 06-05-2007, 11:50 PM
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Default How NOT to Rope a Deer

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, Feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The First step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home. I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, which had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up – 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.



The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.



That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.



At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder – a little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.



Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.



Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling "what happened" I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer". I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did later that afternoon; a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something.



EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk". I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the idiot that tried to rope the deer.”


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Old 06-06-2007, 12:20 AM
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Default Re: How NOT to Rope a Deer

I'm sorry you got hurt but I don't feel to critical in saying that you might have asked for that one....maybe just a little. With that being said, that was one of the craziest and funniest wildlife related stories I think I've heard. I was leaving the stand this past fall at dark and my flashlight goes out. I hear something coming full gallop from the woodline and after a few seconds I know its close. A nice buck came full bore out of the woods and stopped no more that 6 or 7 feet from me. I can't tell you why he did it or why he decided to stop but we stared at each other for about five seconds until he took off back from where he came from. No battles scars here, but that was the first and the last time I unloaded the rifle before getting to the truck
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Old 06-06-2007, 02:49 AM
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So how long ago was this Rich......notice I didn't call you by your city name Richie. I think you have now been officially branded as a True cow poke!

So how are you going to do things differently next time? The principal was good Rich, but mybe you should forget about fat'n it up with corn, just pick a fat one next time.



























































Just next time tie the other end of the rope to your truck's trailer hitch and run like hell. Then when the deer has simmered down throw another rope around it's hind legs and stretch him/ her out.

So how's the wrist/ arm? Did you eventually go in for stitches?
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Old 06-06-2007, 05:02 AM
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Default RE: How NOT to Rope a Deer

With the exception of you taking quite the beating, that is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Great play by play description of a interesting idea gone bad.
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Old 06-06-2007, 07:18 AM
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Default Re: How NOT to Rope a Deer

Moral of this story? DEER ARE EVIL!!!!! I've said this for decades, the guys on the local FM Radio station agree with me.. Deer are truly evil creatures, and why should they not be? I mean, after all, we have shot at them with bows and lead and knives and anything else imaginable for millennia.. They pretty much hate us bipeds!

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Old 06-06-2007, 07:49 AM
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Default Re: How NOT to Rope a Deer

Too funny, I sent it to some of my hunting buds..
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Old 06-06-2007, 08:19 AM
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That is funny...a friend of mine tried something like that several years ago. He had a couple of deer coming in his yard and his wife got them to eat out of her hand. They slept in a thicket behind his garage. He was a big guy and pretty crazy (has since passed away) he decided to put a head lock on one. The thing threw him straight up in the air and he landed on his back. Never saw the deer again.
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Old 06-06-2007, 08:57 AM
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That's too damed funny. Thanks for the jump start this morning.
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Old 06-06-2007, 09:08 AM
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Default Re: How NOT to Rope a Deer

Next time, set up the video cam. That's a youtube classic in the making, and perhaps a nomination for the Nerwin Award (Darwin's assistant.)

Great story, thanks for sharing, and giving a chuckle.

My uncle is a deer hunter and just had bypass surgery so he might miss this season. I'll send it to him and show him an alternative to holing up at camp for 5 days.
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Old 06-06-2007, 09:10 AM
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Heard this story about a year ago....right here on this forum.....hmmmmmmmmm
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Old 06-06-2007, 09:40 AM
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Default Re: How NOT to Rope a Deer

where I grew up we had a herd of whitetail deer and the leader of the herd was a nice sized 10 point buck. They were used to people on the farm and would wander up for handouts every so often. Being a farm we had a billy goat who was feeling his oats one day and decided to mount one of the does which kinda pissed off the buck. Well.....this goat not having the sense he was born with figured that since the buck was showing interest in him he train his amorous ways on the buck...............to make the story short ,the buck had enough of the goats intentions and ran him thru...put a antler thru the goats lung and heart and we were instantly goat less on the farm again....same buck ran my cousin into the lake and wouldn't let him out......had the tranquilize the buck and hacksaw off the antlers....I do miss life back then.........
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Old 06-06-2007, 09:42 AM
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ClarkLLC - 6/6/2007 9:10 AM

Heard this story about a year ago....right here on this forum.....hmmmmmmmmm
I thought it might have just been me.
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Old 06-06-2007, 09:42 AM
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Default Re: How NOT to Rope a Deer

A bit of clarification. This wasn't me. I read this on another board I'm on and found it so funny I wanted to share it here. Guess next time I'll need to leave a disclaimer.


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Old 06-06-2007, 10:43 AM
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mole2 - 6/6/2007 9:42 AM

A bit of clarification. This wasn't me. I read this on another board I'm on and found it so funny I wanted to share it here. Guess next time I'll need to leave a disclaimer.

mole2, I figured as much when I read it.

Hard to imagine a guy from Levittown ever lived in Kansas and had cattle. Just don't see guys from Nassau County punching dogies.
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Old 06-06-2007, 11:50 AM
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Default RE: How NOT to Rope a Deer

WHAT A GREAT STORY I'VE RAISED SEVERAL ORPAN DEER ON MY RANCH AND HAVE SEEN A DOE BEAT UP OUR ROTWIELLER DOG BY TUMPING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH HER HOOVES
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Old 06-06-2007, 04:19 PM
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True or not, that some funny sh!t right there
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Old 06-06-2007, 06:27 PM
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Just goes to prove the old saying, not all ideas are GOOD ideas...... and obviously this guy maybe learned that......
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Old 06-06-2007, 09:31 PM
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Default RE: How NOT to Rope a Deer

another no no never try and pull a 2k pound bull in a cattle trailer with a 4 wheeler
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