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Possum Flatulence

Old 05-12-2007, 07:55 AM
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Default Possum Flatulence

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffttttttttt. I had a cramp.
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Old 05-12-2007, 09:03 AM
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Apache!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pthIzeXerg
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Old 05-12-2007, 09:39 AM
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Brand new possums!
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Old 05-12-2007, 04:41 PM
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pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft














































oh no are farts suppozed to have lumps
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Old 05-12-2007, 09:08 PM
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faulty gas/sh%@ separator
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Old 05-12-2007, 09:21 PM
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P. boy , that's called a shart.

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Old 05-12-2007, 09:23 PM
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to many bean burritos
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Old 05-12-2007, 10:16 PM
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i sharted / sneezed....



pfffffffffffft!!
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Old 05-13-2007, 11:02 AM
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Where would we be without a TurdAlert?
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Old 05-14-2007, 09:08 PM
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The Queen

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses.

They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of cheering Brits; all is going well. Suddenly, the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart. The fart shakes the coach and the smell is overwhelming! Both passengers in the carriage must use perfume-dipped handkerchiefs over their nose but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Bush saying, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand there are some things that even a Queencannot control."

Bush, with his usual diplomatic aplomb, replied, "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."
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Old 05-15-2007, 08:53 AM
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You're a sick man Lt Da-an! Welcome to the jungle where fart talk is perfectly acceptable!

First smeller is sure feller!
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Old 05-15-2007, 09:00 AM
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Hey Forrest, you trained me well.

A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3:00 a.m. in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, “What in the world was that?” He replies, “Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing!”

She thinks to herself “I am going to fix him” and then she lets one rip loose.

He yells at her, “What the hell was that?” She replies “Touchdown, tie score”.

Now he thinks, “I ‘m gonna fix her.” He’s laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work another one up when all of a sudden he shits in bed.

The wife asks, “Now what in the world was that?” He replies “Half time, switch sides!”
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Old 05-15-2007, 09:18 AM
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LOL Don't blame it on me, I have enough trouble on here as a solo act!

I wish I could remember the joke I heard on John Boy and Billy which was along the same line with some Cajuns. Every time the guy would let one fly, he'd say, "Touchdown L.S.U.!!!"

Anybody else remember that one? It was funny as hell.

"Ax Ike" is my favorite skit they do!
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Old 05-15-2007, 04:44 PM
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No blame at all. In the spirit of continuing contribution to whoever started this thread:

"Two world business leaders (Bill Gates of Microsoft and Andy Grove of Intel) were in a very high powered business meeting with the Premier of Newfoundland discussing tax incentives to be provided by the Government of Newfoundland. During the serious and tense discussions a beeping noise suddenly started from where Andy Grove of Intel was sitting. Andy said “Oh, that’s my emergency beeper. Gentlemen, please excuse me but I really need to take this call.” So Andy lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of this tie. After completing his call, he notices the others staring at him. Andy explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my wristwatch and a microphone sewn into my tie. That way, I can take a call anywhere.”

The others nod and the meeting continues. 5 minutes later, the discussion is interrupted when Bill Gates starts beeping. He apologizes and states, “Oh, that is my emergency beeper. Excuse me gentleman, this must be an important call.” So Gates taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him so he explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. My earpiece is actually implanted into my earlobe and the microphone is actually embedded in my front tooth, great eh!” The others nod and the meeting continues.

Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when the Premier of Newfoundland lets out a huge fart. He looks up at the others who are staring at him intently and states to the meeting: “Could somebody get me a roll of toilet paper…that’s my new emergency contact system and I am receiving a fax!”
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