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Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

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Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

Old 04-01-2007, 06:33 AM
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Default Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

10) My mom and dad drive real well every other minute.

9) The 80yr old driving the Buick in the right lane, staring at me in the passenger seat of my mom's CRV, as she was driving and veering into his lane, needs a louder horn, and a dentist based on what I could see in his O-Shaped horror filled mouth.

8) Cigars ashes flicked by your father in the back seat will not flick out an open rear window, but rather will swirl around the car, burn a hole in a Timberland fleece vest, and then float up and land on the contact lens in your eye instead.

7) My bothers and sisters all have issues in their marriages, and with their inlaws. I just found this out in great detail.

6) It is possible for a Honda CRV to accelerate to 85mph in the center lane, and within a minute, run equally smooth doing 52mph in the left lane. The car is comfortable with all kinds of driving styles, even if these styles come from one person, and within minutes.

5) It is still possible to get a black Dunkin Donuts coffee in South Florida, despite telling the chick no less than five times (she kept asking) that you want half and half and one Splenda.

4) Crack Barrel will always have a line no matter the time of day, and it is a pleasant place to check how long a restaurant wait is, and look at a few "made in China Rocking Chairs" for sale, before following your parents out the door, who are ranting that you should have stopped at McDonalds.

3) A New Jersey guy with an Arabic first name can't expect to buy a one way ticket to Florida, not check luggage, and carry a Garmin Street Pilot in his Knapsack, without giving the TSA a coronary.

2) Canadians are herding nomadic people that love driving big ole RV's dragging POS Chevy Cavaliers. If I meet a Canadian on an airplane on business I am gonna ask him what kind or RV does his parents have, and what year Chevy Cavalier.

1) PARENTS DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL TO ACCELERATE TO 90MPH TO SEE IF THE BOAT BEING PULLED UP THE ROAD IS A BOSTON WHALER.

I am glad I am home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-01-2007, 06:57 AM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents





You may not know this, being from Jersey and all but the proper way to end #10 is with "bless their hearts"...







I've made the I-95 run from Miami to Hartford a few times. Fun.


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Old 04-01-2007, 07:34 AM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

you could have passed the time perfecting your booger flinging techniques....polish your skills as it were...
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Old 04-01-2007, 07:37 AM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

I learned not to expect much just because a sign claimed "cleanest restrooms on I-95".
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Old 04-01-2007, 07:55 AM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

I did it as a 10 year old kid with my grandparents, I'm 40 now and it is still burned in my memory. Florida to New York, when we finally made it home I actually thought and told my parents that I had been to the other side of the country, that's how many times we were lost. Took us almost a week to get there, time well spent though.
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Old 04-01-2007, 08:21 AM
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Old 04-01-2007, 08:22 AM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

I think #1 should be "don't drive cross-country with the 'rents."
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Old 04-01-2007, 07:20 PM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

Made that trip a milliion times. In a pickup. With a lumpy bench seat and a 5 speed. 20-24 Hours is the norm.
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:34 PM
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Default RE: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

That was a good read. Thanks
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Old 04-02-2007, 08:33 AM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

Parkersal,

Seems you were in the car with my parents??? Too strange...

I drive from Atlanta to South Florida a dozen or so times a year on I 75. Most of the crowd I see is from the midwest. Best lesson I have learned is stay away from Crown Victorias and Grand Marquis (special caution around silver ones). Check Buicks carefully as they could either be a snowbird or a salesman. And never believe that black socks and shorts are never worn together.

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Old 04-02-2007, 02:43 PM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

Great list... I can sympathize... Next year surprise them, buy'em tickets to AC on Spirit when they havea $29 sale goin on, and drive back alone!
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Old 04-02-2007, 03:30 PM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

Very funny. I did all the driving when I took mine up to the Cape last June. I wrote a paper about it this semester....good stuff.
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Old 04-02-2007, 04:02 PM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

I don't drive with my 'rents!
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Old 04-02-2007, 04:33 PM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

How many "Pepe Says" billboards did you pass - "South of the Border". Last count there are close to 4 million of them I think....
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Old 04-02-2007, 05:10 PM
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Old 04-02-2007, 07:52 PM
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Default RE: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

Regarding #2. They aren't real Canadians, They're snobirds looking to take advantage of state healthcare while the weather is warm enough. If you make the same trip in the fall you'll see the same bunch heading south. Real Canadians stay here and freeze their azz off all winter and drive Subarus.
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Old 04-03-2007, 12:26 AM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

Parkersal,

Now that was funny, Grinning from ear to ear.



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Old 04-03-2007, 01:03 PM
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Default Re: Ten Things I Learned Driving North From Florida with my Parents

Good post! Reminds me of the early 60's driving from Philly to Ft Lauderdale with my grandparents. That was before I95 was finished and there were a lot of 2 lane roads where they had to pass trucks - That was exciting!
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