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ok, time for old thread...

Old 01-27-2007, 06:20 PM
  #1  
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Default ok, time for old thread...

Didn't want to hijack the "how old are you" one - post your favorite old joke.

Please, no old jokes - just jokes about being old!!!!!






"he's so old, he's been around since the Dead Sea was still sick"




(that's my f-inlaws favorite - 76 this year)

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Old 01-27-2007, 11:26 PM
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Default RE: ok, time for old thread...

90 yr. old geezer entering the Nevada's Mustang Ranch.
Madam, "Good Evening Sir, what can we do for you?"
Geezer, "Oh, I'd like a young lady for the evening."
The madam takes him to a private room ask him to wait there and departs.
After considering the old boy's age and possible catastrophic health issues,
she returns to to room and finds the old boy naked.
The Madam says, "Mister, you've had it!!
Geezer, "OH! THANK YOU !!"
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Old 01-27-2007, 11:32 PM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

"Twenty-six," he said.
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Old 01-27-2007, 11:55 PM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

When do you know you are old enough to fall under the category of old people jokes?
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Old 01-27-2007, 11:56 PM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

these jokes are older than me


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Old 01-28-2007, 07:07 AM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

Your mama is so old Moses owes her a quarter..........
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Old 01-28-2007, 07:28 AM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

I'm so old I wont even buy green bananas anymore.
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Old 01-28-2007, 08:32 AM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

He's so old,- he farts dust!
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Old 01-28-2007, 09:12 AM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

Or So Old he farts dust bunnies.
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Old 01-28-2007, 11:34 AM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

He's so old he's a living fossil!
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Old 01-28-2007, 11:38 AM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

So old he was deafened by the Big Bang...
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Old 01-28-2007, 12:01 PM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

He's so old he died long before the Big Bang!
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Old 01-28-2007, 12:12 PM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

He's older than Methusalah ~ and so are these jokes~~!!

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Old 01-28-2007, 12:14 PM
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Default Re: ok, time for old thread...

They were interviewing a guy who just turned 100 years old.

The reporter asked, "To what do you contribute your longevity?"

He replied, "I never touched a drop of intoxicating alcohol."

About that time they heard a huge crash in the next room.

The reporter asked, "What was that?"

"Oh, that's just Dad. He always raises he!! when he gets drunk".
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