Cancer sucks.
01-04-2021, 07:41 PM
#1
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Cancer sucks.
Cancer sucks. My wife starts chemo tomorrow. If you are one for prayers, they are greatly appreciated. She is 36 and has stage 3A breast cancer. Spirits are high, outlook is great. But we also know the coming months will suck. Especially with a 3 and 4 year old who don’t exactly know how to sort out such things. Not looking forward to it, but glad to get the attack started. You can’t win a war without fighting a battle or twelve. I’m not opposed to waking Patton and Nimitz from their gaves to make stuff happen, but have great confidence in the abilities of the dr.’s.
01-04-2021, 07:47 PM
#2
Senior Member
Our prayers are with your wife and the family. Half the battle is attitude. It's great that you have confidence in her doctors. Here's wishing you all the best and success. Been there, done that.
01-04-2021, 08:10 PM
#8
Admirals Club 
I'm so very sorry that your bride has to go through this. Lots of prayers will be sent your way from here as well as great advise. While the coming months may very well suck, treatment protocol varies tremendously from Dr. to Dr., hospital to hospital. Trust in her Dr's while critical should not be continuously applied throughout her treatment. In other words, Trust, but verify. Example: Both myself and my bride experienced Dr's that had a real aversion to tweaking their cocktails, ( chemo ) when we both became very ill. While we stayed with these Dr's we forced them to talk with other physicians to learn about additives and other remedies that really helped us both with nausea, severe dizziness, cramping, etc.
My # 1 piece of advise: YOU ARE YOUR BEST ADVOCATE!!! No matter how intimidating someone may come across, never be afraid to tell them to sit their ass down and explain what they just told you again, or until you truly understand what they said, no matter how damn long it takes!
Take notes.....I still have all my notebooks from when it was my turn, I'm currently on my 6th spiral notebook for my bride. When something comes up that you just aren't sure about, that notebook with all the Dr's phone numbers, addresses, emails, web-sites, advocacy groups, etc can really be a life saver.
Get at least a 2nd opinion, if not a 3rd.
Attitude.....I cannot stress enough how important this is. My bride and I both attacked our cancer with a take no prisoner approach. The term "Get busy living, or get busy dying" was on both of our bathroom mirrors, its still on my brides side. **** CANCER.......tell her to keep that motto in her head for the entire journey.
Think about Joining a support group, not for everyone but they do wonders for folks that struggle to keep their spirits up and can't deal with stress.
I sent you a "pm" with all my contact info. Also, tell your bride that my wife has several very close friends that have been there and could possibly be a wealth of good info for here. If your bride wants me to get her those names & numbers, just ask me and it's done.
Prayers sent my friend. Know this as well............At that stage, the odds are still very much in her favor, just 20 years ago that was not the case.
My # 1 piece of advise: YOU ARE YOUR BEST ADVOCATE!!! No matter how intimidating someone may come across, never be afraid to tell them to sit their ass down and explain what they just told you again, or until you truly understand what they said, no matter how damn long it takes!
Take notes.....I still have all my notebooks from when it was my turn, I'm currently on my 6th spiral notebook for my bride. When something comes up that you just aren't sure about, that notebook with all the Dr's phone numbers, addresses, emails, web-sites, advocacy groups, etc can really be a life saver.
Get at least a 2nd opinion, if not a 3rd.
Attitude.....I cannot stress enough how important this is. My bride and I both attacked our cancer with a take no prisoner approach. The term "Get busy living, or get busy dying" was on both of our bathroom mirrors, its still on my brides side. **** CANCER.......tell her to keep that motto in her head for the entire journey.
Think about Joining a support group, not for everyone but they do wonders for folks that struggle to keep their spirits up and can't deal with stress.
I sent you a "pm" with all my contact info. Also, tell your bride that my wife has several very close friends that have been there and could possibly be a wealth of good info for here. If your bride wants me to get her those names & numbers, just ask me and it's done.
Prayers sent my friend. Know this as well............At that stage, the odds are still very much in her favor, just 20 years ago that was not the case.
01-04-2021, 08:25 PM
#13
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Sending positive thoughts your way. We are in a similar boat. My wife, also 36 was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer this spring shortly after finding out we were pregnant with our second child. Stay as positive as you can.
01-04-2021, 08:32 PM
#18
Senior Member
Prayers to all of your family!!
My Lady went through the same cancer about 7yrs ago, close to the same age. Had a tough time and went through a lot. She is still with us, alive, happy, with a good prognosis and is taking a hot bubble bath right now.
Hang in there!!
My Lady went through the same cancer about 7yrs ago, close to the same age. Had a tough time and went through a lot. She is still with us, alive, happy, with a good prognosis and is taking a hot bubble bath right now.
Hang in there!!
Last edited by Corndog38; 01-04-2021 at 08:42 PM. Reason: typo
01-04-2021, 08:34 PM
#19
Senior Member
Go to best regional cancer centers you can for treatment.
Or places that work with their specialists long distance.
The best places have access to leading edge equipment that local does not. As well as leading edge treatments since they are also teaching and research centers.
When going this, the American Cancer Society sponsors Hope Lodges.....basically private room hostels you can stay at for no charge....church groups bring meals in almost every night so you have to buy little food.....makes getting best treatments affordable for people when treatment lasts months. There is also some moral support living with a variety of patients all going thru same thing. Even if it is kind of sad to witness. Especially kids.
Or places that work with their specialists long distance.
The best places have access to leading edge equipment that local does not. As well as leading edge treatments since they are also teaching and research centers.
When going this, the American Cancer Society sponsors Hope Lodges.....basically private room hostels you can stay at for no charge....church groups bring meals in almost every night so you have to buy little food.....makes getting best treatments affordable for people when treatment lasts months. There is also some moral support living with a variety of patients all going thru same thing. Even if it is kind of sad to witness. Especially kids.
Last edited by mbb; 01-04-2021 at 08:43 PM.
01-04-2021, 08:34 PM
#20
Senior Member
Prayers sent from our family to yours. 
We will continue to keep you and your family in our hearts as your wife is on the road to recovery.
Regards,
We will continue to keep you and your family in our hearts as your wife is on the road to recovery.
Regards,
