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Best way to help out a friend in bad times?

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Best way to help out a friend in bad times?

Old 10-28-2020, 06:13 AM
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Default Best way to help out a friend in bad times?

Question....what would be a good or best way to help out a friend in a challenging time? GoFund me, tournament, fundraiser BBQ plates? .....never dealt with anything like this and really want to try to help in some way...don't want to say a ton of details right now, but it's the loss of a kid with kids...truly bad situation... I just feel moved to try to help a friend .......thanks
Old 10-28-2020, 06:18 AM
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Write a note
write a check
Old 10-28-2020, 06:20 AM
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Unfortunately it happens.

Money rarely fixes things.

Time and reflection is the best course.

Just never forget the memories is the best you can do.
Old 10-28-2020, 06:29 AM
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What kind of help do they need without giving away too many specifics?
Old 10-28-2020, 06:36 AM
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NOT public shaming like go fund me or the like. As said, cut a check, or cash is better. If you have similarly minded friends pool funds.
Old 10-28-2020, 06:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Sixstring View Post
Unfortunately it happens.

Money rarely fixes things.

Time and reflection is the best course.

Just never forget the memories is the best you can do.
While I agree that money does not fix things, depending on the nature of the situation, a little financial assistance can help to reduce stress for the person experiencing the loss.

I'd organize a go fund me, but more importantly, be there for the person. Nothing will get you through tough times like friends and family.
Old 10-28-2020, 06:45 AM
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Grocery store gift card, auto service gift card, clothing store gift card, etc. Less like cash.
Old 10-28-2020, 06:48 AM
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Do they actually need financial help or was that just something you thought of to try and help them?
Old 10-28-2020, 06:52 AM
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Pre-made frozen dinners in throwaway containers dropped off is nice. Write directions on package and let them heat up at their convenience.

My mother does this with a lot of her church ladies. They organize a bit, and have multiple people drop off meals, wine, etc. She writes on the foil in marker directions for cooking.

You might also drop off paper plates as well.

I would drop off cash too so they can order food and gift cards.
Old 10-28-2020, 06:55 AM
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in attempting to put myself in that persons shoes, which I cannot truly do.... I think I would want to know the friend is there if needed, maybe a call or check in on occasion, someone to vent to, share a beer when the time is right to get away for a few.... but I do not need financial help or anything like that... maybe bringing by a meal would be good, some may forget to eat in their grief, or forget the little things that may need to be done.

Best I can come up with... sorry for your friends loss, good juju sent out for them.
Old 10-28-2020, 07:04 AM
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Originally Posted by 1720keywest View Post
Pre-made frozen dinners in throwaway containers dropped off is nice. Write directions on package and let them heat up at their convenience.

My mother does this with a lot of her church ladies. They organize a bit, and have multiple people drop off meals, wine, etc. She writes on the foil in marker directions for cooking.

You might also drop off paper plates as well.

I would drop off cash too so they can order food and gift cards.
This is my go to for funerals and new babies. Typically delivered after the initial wave of food is over, or right before they return to work. We have a local gourmet frozen meal place that I typically use. Do 1-3 meals depending on the situation. Don't like to do too many because they may not have freezer space. Stuff that's the same prep, but better food than a typical stouffer's lasagna. Always make sure to have paper goods and forks/spoons/knives to go with it.
Old 10-28-2020, 07:20 AM
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Thanks for all of the replies.... a fishing buddy, lost his daughter she was a single mom of 2 young children...I know no matter what it'll be a difficult time for him and the family in many ways...just something I was thinking about last night to try to help in some way...I've never started a go fund me page or ever done any type fund raiser .....just a terrible situation and to have something like this happen while times aren't the best for many I was just trying to come up with some way to help, show my gratitude and support .....I should probably reach out to him and see what he feels comfortable with if anything I guess....
with the sudden unexpected expenses and taking on the grandkids I'm sure he hasn't had time to absorb it all, thanks again for the feedback..
Old 10-28-2020, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by mgoodman2014 View Post
in attempting to put myself in that persons shoes, which I cannot truly do.... I think I would want to know the friend is there if needed, maybe a call or check in on occasion, someone to vent to, share a beer when the time is right to get away for a few.... but I do not need financial help or anything like that... maybe bringing by a meal would be good, some may forget to eat in their grief, or forget the little things that may need to be done.

Best I can come up with... sorry for your friends loss, good juju sent out for them.
He hit it. The most sincere and best approaches are usually the ones that require just a little more effort and less money
Old 10-28-2020, 07:30 AM
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Be there long term. Often people are anxious and rush to help up front, which is an understandable and noble gesture. However, I think it's the latter weeks and months after the initial support fades that people need the most support because they are attempting to "resume" normalcy and that's where they struggle the most.
Old 10-28-2020, 02:48 PM
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Be the first person in the door and the last person to leave. Put your number in their phone under the name "Anytime Youneedme" and answer it. Take the kids to Chuck E Cheese or the fair or a park and let the rest of the family deal with the darkness without hiding it "for the children." Money is never the answer, unless they are in a dire situation as that was the only breadwinner or something of that nature.
Old 10-28-2020, 03:42 PM
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Follow tips from a source better than THT:

[
3] But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
[4] That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
Old 10-28-2020, 03:57 PM
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He is definitely going to need some help with the kids so that is what I would probably focus on.
Old 10-28-2020, 04:09 PM
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He needs a friend to hang around and help them cope. Companionship goes a lot further than a dollar. That said, if you see a need, fill the need. If you need help with $$$s to do so, ask around. People are always willing to help a good cause.
Old 10-28-2020, 04:10 PM
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First you can get him a captain’s club membership. In all reality, staying close and asking him what he needs most will help you decide which way to go with this. Without knowing what is going on at any particular point in time you could do something nice but not immediately beneficial.
Old 10-28-2020, 04:51 PM
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Time/Emotional support/companionship

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