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Vacationing with Kids is Hard

Old 09-09-2020, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by olsaltydog View Post
Then hypothetical question. Your wife is pregnant with your child, medical emergency, your wife is under anesthesia so doctor asks. Can only save one, who do you pick?

This question was brought up with a group of friends, wife didn't even hesitate. Said save the child, another friend said we can make another. And then things got heavy when a friend who at that moment we just found out had a still born a few years earlier said she would gladly give her life up to have that child in this world still. Sombering but clearly I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, there is a matter of perspective and how you see something.
This is probably worth it's own dedicated thread. I'd be telling that doctor to save them both dammit!
Old 09-09-2020, 06:05 PM
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Originally Posted by HookMeUpII View Post
Yup. Few people realize this. I'm sure a lot (if not all) on here love their children and do anything for them. However, someone taught me something when I was younger. Your spouse is literally the ONLY person who will (and should) CHOOSE to be with you the rest of your life. Through sickness and in health. Friends come and go. Kids are reliant on their parents by default when they're young but they usually will eventually marry and leave home. So many people forget this.
The divorce rate of 50% would suggest that spouses come and go more than friends........

Kids..... Are also a major reason that many couples stay together. Look at a list of top common reasons for divorce, kids are not among them.


Old 09-09-2020, 07:45 PM
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Just had my first, now 2 month old, at 39 years of age. I traveled the world and partied from my mid 20s to my mid 30s. Done near everything I wanted to, twice. I had always thought about kids, and then the more I filled my days with meaningless diversions the more I looked for something meaningful, and the more I thought about having kids.

The wife and I are on the same page as far as priorities go. We aren't even thinking about a vacation anytime soon. I look at this like any sport I ever played, it's going to take a lot of practice, prep, ans training. Its going to be hard at times, and we are going to strike out from time to time and lose some games here and there. But those few moments of victory, like hitting a home run or making the game winning play, will make it all worth it. And when I am old and can't play anymore, I'll look back fondly at the work we put in and what we accomplished. That's the dream anyway.

​​​​Currently, i'm so absorbed with trying to do everything right and be a good dad and partner.to my wife, it's hard to think about myself. My wife feels the same way. Sometimes I wake up before the little guy, look at him on the cam, and think about how happy he will be when he wakes up, and when he finally wakes up I run to his room, excited to see that smile. The lack of sleep and the crying baby can be tough for sure, but I understood what I was signing up for (to some degree). I guess I'm still in the honeymoon stage.

Old 09-09-2020, 08:18 PM
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My kids are grown and gone. Closest one lives 300+ miles away.

I have a great relationship with all of them.

My son was my go to fishing buddy. He’d go Fishing at the drop of a hint.

One day he graduates from college, gets a high paying job and moves away.

And then you realize - it is over. My favorite deckhand and fishing guide is gone. Yea, he comes home but he’s got a job.

Oldest kids live 1000 miles away. Holidays and visits - that’s it.

Yea - enjoy it now because you’re going to wake up one day (i day tripped for about 27 years with my kids) and then they were grown and gone.

I can’t remember the “bad” vacation memories - only the funny good ones.

Enjoy it now. It will be past.
Old 09-09-2020, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Bayou Dularge View Post
My kids are grown and gone. Closest one lives 300+ miles away.

I have a great relationship with all of them.

My son was my go to fishing buddy. He’d go Fishing at the drop of a hint.

One day he graduates from college, gets a high paying job and moves away.

And then you realize - it is over. My favorite deckhand and fishing guide is gone. Yea, he comes home but he’s got a job.

Oldest kids live 1000 miles away. Holidays and visits - that’s it.

Yea - enjoy it now because you’re going to wake up one day (i day tripped for about 27 years with my kids) and then they were grown and gone.

I can’t remember the “bad” vacation memories - only the funny good ones.

Enjoy it now. It will be past.
I'm sure it's tough. I live two hours from my family but to hear them talk about it, I might as well live in Australia lol.
Old 09-09-2020, 09:22 PM
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Maybe my ex and I were crap parents but when our kids were that young and infant their naps would be on the beach if needed. Or at a BBQ if that was the case, or what ever we may have been into. Heck we flew with a 5 year old a 4 year old and my youngest at maybe 6 or 7 months to England for near two weeks. Sure there were the challenges but never enough to get crazy over. Sometimes I think people over think how fragile their kids are and change their routines way too much. Shoot I know my parents did the same with my siblings and I same as we did with our kids.
Old 09-09-2020, 09:34 PM
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going on a vacation when you know how they are at home and expect them to change for the better while away from home is a bad idea
Old 09-09-2020, 09:48 PM
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Originally Posted by triumphrick View Post
The best vacations we took were when we loaded up a van with playpens, highchairs, grills, fishing gear, beach toys our 1 and 4 year olds and the neighbors four boys 1 thru six year olds and rented a house on Anna Maria island for at least eight years in a row...a week at a time. Right on the beach, Gulf side.

Over time we added scuba gear, surfboards, Hobie Cats, powered boats....

I am sure they were a handful, but those memories are all over forty years old and we can still talk about those fun times on AMI...and laugh about some great memories. Our kids were the envy of the block when they came back home to the neighborhood each year with salt water aquariums full of critters, fishing and boating pictures and dark tans...
Amen brother. My kids are now in their 30's and if I had to do it all over again I would in a HEARTBEAT. Both grew up on the water and loving the outdoors and continue with that love of the outdoors.

We are enjoying our grandsons now, The 7 year old knows how to fish (he fishes our pond in the backyard) and both (the other is turning 3) love the boat and the water.

OP, get your head right as your world changed once you had kids..........learn to enjoy it.
Old 09-10-2020, 06:29 AM
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Originally Posted by agallant80 View Post
I never understood why someone would go through the hell of having kids. Every dude I work with at some point has said something at some point in time about how kids destroyed their dreams, ruined their marriage, destroyed their finances, on and on. Most guys I know would have been fine not having kids but did it because that is what you are supposed to do or their wife was pushing. I know 2-3 guys who actually wanted kids and they have their regrets.

Most of you guys who have kids are going to wake up in your 50's divorced with a x-wife that you have hated for the past 20~ years or still married to a wet blanket who holds you back from your dreams.

I know it sounds mean, and I am not trying to be mean but I know a lot of miserable guys who gave up everything that made them happy for a woman who drags them down and kids they were pretty much talked in to having.
I have 3 little girls that love me more than words can describe and it is the best feeling in the world. I made a lot of money and traveled the world without a worry in the world before I had them but my life was incomplete. When I’m old and frail and I can still look up and see my girls telling me they love me I will still smile.
Old 09-10-2020, 06:55 AM
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This has been an insightful thread for me. At 50 with a 5 yo son I still have a lot to learn. Good points here for sure..


Old 09-10-2020, 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted by River rat76 View Post
Maybe my ex and I were crap parents but when our kids were that young and infant their naps would be on the beach if needed. Or at a BBQ if that was the case, or what ever we may have been into. Heck we flew with a 5 year old a 4 year old and my youngest at maybe 6 or 7 months to England for near two weeks. Sure there were the challenges but never enough to get crazy over. Sometimes I think people over think how fragile their kids are and change their routines way too much. Shoot I know my parents did the same with my siblings and I same as we did with our kids.
I have a picture of my son when he was about 4
curled up asleep ...on floor....back of boat......about 1 am....summertime night fishing .....under lights.....Hes surrounded by a pile of 17-20" speckled trout. When you get them on fire......you just start throwing them in bottom of boat. He slept thru it. Kids can sleep thru anything. He did need a bath.....

Last edited by mbb; 09-10-2020 at 08:18 AM.
Old 09-10-2020, 08:11 AM
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Originally Posted by mbb View Post
The divorce rate of 50% would suggest that spouses come and go more than friends........
Kids..... Are also a major reason that many couples stay together. Look at a list of top common reasons for divorce, kids are not among them.
And maybe because it's that people aren't putting enough time and consideration towards their spouse? Ever think of that? I'm not perfect. No one is. Every single divorce I know of stems from lack of consideration for one another or the other part or they never should have gotten married in the first place.

The point remains and I stick by it. Life is a balance, devote too much time to one aspect and others will fail. Like I said, your kids are by your side by default. They need you to survive. Obviously, parents love them and care for them (most at least). Once again, your spouse ELECTS to be with you. So make sure you focus time on him/her.
Old 09-10-2020, 08:11 AM
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Originally Posted by mbb View Post
I have a picture of my son when he was about 4
curled up asleep ...on floor....back of boat......about 1 am....summertime night fishing .....under lights.....Hes surrounded by a pile of 17-20" speckled trout. When you get them on fire......you just start throwing them in bottom of boat. He slept thru it. Kids can sleep thru anything.
That's a fact. Get them tired enough and they'll literally sleep through anything...mine once slept on the floor of my office for 5 hours straight when he wasn't feeling well. Sat through all my conference calls and everything lol.
Old 09-10-2020, 08:21 AM
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Kids were 5, 10 & 12... we loaded up in the truck with our little pop up in tow for 30+/- days across country and back...

Best vacation one could ask for.

These are times you will never get back - while it may be hard sometimes - need to just step back from what bothers us and try to enjoy.
Old 09-10-2020, 09:16 AM
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Best memories are those made with the kids.
some of the funniest too
most captured in the 150gb of photos i have on computer.

Cant wait for grandkids
All the fun, none of the responsibility or hassle


Old 09-10-2020, 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by mbb View Post
I have a picture of my son when he was about 4
curled up asleep ...on floor....back of boat......about 1 am....summertime night fishing .....under lights.....Hes surrounded by a pile of 17-20" speckled trout. When you get them on fire......you just start throwing them in bottom of boat. He slept thru it. Kids can sleep thru anything. He did need a bath.....
Originally Posted by NCSUboater View Post
That's a fact. Get them tired enough and they'll literally sleep through anything...mine once slept on the floor of my office for 5 hours straight when he wasn't feeling well. Sat through all my conference calls and everything lol.
For sure. This was in July running in from the nearshore reef. She just laid down and crapped out. I was holding the 2 year old, who was also crapped out.


Old 09-10-2020, 09:24 AM
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That is awesome.
Old 09-10-2020, 10:03 AM
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Originally Posted by agallant80 View Post
I never understood why someone would go through the hell of having kids. Every dude I work with at some point has said something at some point in time about how kids destroyed their dreams, ruined their marriage, destroyed their finances, on and on. Most guys I know would have been fine not having kids but did it because that is what you are supposed to do or their wife was pushing. I know 2-3 guys who actually wanted kids and they have their regrets.

Most of you guys who have kids are going to wake up in your 50's divorced with a x-wife that you have hated for the past 20~ years or still married to a wet blanket who holds you back from your dreams.

I know it sounds mean, and I am not trying to be mean but I know a lot of miserable guys who gave up everything that made them happy for a woman who drags them down and kids they were pretty much talked in to having.
I can't imagine life without children and grandchildren but I do agree. There are a lot of people who should not have children.
Old 09-10-2020, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by NCSUboater View Post
I might as well live in Australia lol.
My son moved to Australia.
Old 09-10-2020, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by KJS View Post
You are a Dad. It isn't about how much time you need at the beach. To answer your question it does get easier. I realize you are venting but its time to man up.
I’ve realized it now and can confirm with my father... 95% of the vacation isn’t for you as the dad. You are the one who needs to make the vacation happen for the family. You probably have to book it, plan it, make sure everyone is ready to go, drive wherever, get things ready, put things away, etc...

I have a 6 and 7 year old (both boys). Vacations are kind of like the wrestling royal rumble just in a nicer location.

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