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First Time Dad-delivery questions


First Time Dad-delivery questions

Old 03-18-2020, 07:14 AM
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Default First Time Dad-delivery questions

My wife and I are expecting in one month or so. This will be our first child, and I do not know what to expect as far as the delivery goes.
It seems like most of the women say that its special for the man to look at the kid during birth, and Ive had some guys tell me that I do not want to see that.

What does the brain trust here say? How active were you in the actual delivery part?
Old 03-18-2020, 07:17 AM
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You didn’t have trouble looking at it when a head was going in did you?
Old 03-18-2020, 07:17 AM
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Ours were both out through the sunroof but I saw more than I cared to see in the attempts leading up to that for things to happen naturally.

I don't feel I missed out on seeing that particular moment; when they hand your new child to you and you show momma is the good part.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:18 AM
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It's the most amazing thing in the World. Don't miss it.

Best to Mom, baby, and new Dad!
Old 03-18-2020, 07:19 AM
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Originally Posted by NCSUboater View Post
Ours were both out through the sunroof but I saw more than I cared to see in the attempts leading up to that for things to happen naturally.
I don't feel I missed out on seeing that particular moment; when they hand your new child to you and you show momma is the good part.
Ours was via c-section as well. Agree on the first time holding your munchkin is priceless.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:20 AM
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If it's a c-section, don't peek over the curtain if you have a weak stomach. Dr.'s frown on puking inside an open surgical cavity.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:25 AM
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I looked for the first...couldnt for the second because I looked for the first. Oh and also dont stand next to her while shes in labor slurping on a frozen coffee either. It will piss her off like crazy or so a friend said
Oh and also make sure you reassure her how beautiful she is after because she will probably look like homeade soap and be self-conscious. It really is a beautiful thing but some/most women still feel ugly.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:28 AM
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My daughter was born naturally in our bathtub at home via a dula. It was a awesome and powerful experience as I was first person to hold her while she took her first breath. Will never forget it!
Old 03-18-2020, 07:29 AM
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we had some issues and I wasnt allowed in the delivery room. Stuck with my MIL during the whole thing, not fun. Get ready for your life to drastically change. Youll never have the amount of free time you have now again for years. Get organized and when you think you are get better organized. Things always seem to go wrong at 4am lol
Old 03-18-2020, 07:30 AM
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Best advice I got was to make sure you know where you are supposed to stand, and make sure that there is a chair behind you, preferably just touching the back of your calves. In the event you feel lightheaded, you can simply sit down, or pass out in comfort. They don't need you to for anything, really. My wife didn't have any pain meds and our daughter was delivered 20 minutes after we arrived at the hospital, so things went quick. I feel for those with the 12-hour labors.

Doctor asked me in advance if I wanted to cut the cord and said yes, but if I change my mind and said no, don't ask me a second time. All went well, my daughter's head was stuck so doc made a quick snip with scissors to loosen things up and she came flying out. Wish I didn't see that or the doc re-stitching things...
Old 03-18-2020, 07:31 AM
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Old 03-18-2020, 07:31 AM
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Watch it, just don't watch the episiotomy. Actually years ago when my kids were born, we set up a video camera off to the side and taped it. You could not see any of the gore just the doc pulling the baby up.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:32 AM
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Be there, be as actively involved as you can. Holding your newborn baby is a truly wonderful moment!

And then post baby (and proud parents) pics on THT (after everyone is presentable)! Congratulations!
Old 03-18-2020, 07:32 AM
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As my wife put it “there’s nothing natural about child birth”.

Old 03-18-2020, 07:34 AM
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I would not have missed it for the world.
our second, we let our parents come in as well. My dad (hero) is a rough tough guy, but when that baby came he melted. I think that was more rewarding for me than anything.

Don't listen to the hype either way, listen to your heart.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:37 AM
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One of the coolest things I've ever seen:

We kept the name a secret from everyone for our first, and so when my folks came into the recovery room we had the name on the whiteboard and my dad got to see that his name was now his grandsons middle name.

Allergies start acting up just thinking about it. I remember his exact reaction.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:45 AM
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Wife had a C-section because we had twins and the OB told us there was a pretty good possibility that when one came out, the other would flip around and need to be c-sectioned anyways so it didn't come out feet first. So my wife made the call to just have a c-section so she didn't get the vajayjay tore up and cut open too.

I suggest going in to the delivery room regardless. As long as you don't have a weak stomach, you'll be fine. I butcher deer every year, so seeing that sort of stuff wasn't bothersome to me at all. If you wife has the epidural injection, expect her to be loopy. Mine was counting the dots on the ceiling tiles and telling me how they all looked like little stars.

My advice - jump right in with helping with the kid. Don't let the nurses do the diaper changes and that sort of stuff, and don't let your wife do it. Its time to man up and help out. Change those diapers, help with feeding the kid, all that stuff. Its time to learn now while you have supervision, rather than later when you're at home. Same for learning how to do the burrito wrap on the kid so they are nice and snug.

Take all the stuff the hospital gives you. And more. Ask for more. We went home with 2 garbage bags full of diapers, blankets, formula, all kinds of stuff. Your insurance is paying for it anyways, take advantage.

There is probably a kitchen nearby. I ate takeout for 3 days straight and had no idea there was a fully stocked kitchen for the dads like 20 feet away. Ask the nurses.

At some point you are going to be most likely visited by a Le Leche League volunteer. Its a volunteer organization that pushes breast feeding. My girls were a month early and underweight and my wife's milk hadn't dropped. The doctors gave us the choice on continuing to try breast feeding and most likely the kids would continue to lose weight and need longer at the hospital, or supplement with formula to help them gain weight faster. I had to physically push the le leche volunteer out of the room because she was freaking out about us making the decision to go with formula supplement so our kids wouldn't continue to lose weight. She was incredibly hostile, rude and pushy. I'm sure this doesn't go for all volunteers though.

You know how they say moms need to pack a go bag for the hospital? You need one too. A couple changes of clothes (you're going to get puked on, I guarantee it) AND you need a sleeping bag and a pillow. The nurses don't give 2 craps about the dads, and you aren't going to get anything more than a thin blanket and the worlds crappiest pillow while you try to sleep on what I can only describe as a medieval torture device that they call a pull out chair that turns into a "bed". Bring a good pillow and something to keep warm because they keep hospitals cold.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:49 AM
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Go for it! Be there, support your wife mainly. It is NOT an easy process on them.

Not what I expected at all - before I knew it, I was holding a leg, hitting the epidural button every 10-11 min, and fanning the wife with a paper folder we had in the room. This went on for almost 4 hours until we decided to go in for a csection. Looked over the curtain, yes it's messy but they knew what they were doing - very organized operation.

Hearing that first cry and seeing the baby was the best feeling ever. Nothing else mattered. Cut the cord and cleaned him off, wrapped him up, took him to see mom.

Baby & momma both came out of it healthy. He's 8 months old now and doing great
Old 03-18-2020, 07:53 AM
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3 weeks ago today had my first. I didn't watch or want to see anything. They have Amazon Echo's in the rooms here, I turned on Eddie Money radio and sat beside my wifes head. Doc and Nurse commented many times that they loved the music, wife doesn't remember it at all. FWIW she was born to Wanted Dead or Alive lol.
Old 03-18-2020, 07:54 AM
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I would also start talking to some local mid wives. With all the craziness going on you may want to try a home birth vs hospital. Hopefully not needed but good to have a back up ready that you trust.

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