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Teenage Son Vaping and Drinking

Old 12-19-2019, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Rolandt03 View Post
there is no right answer because every kid is different! for me a good ol arse whooping or even the thought of it did the trick. now my sister on the other hand, you could beat her into a coma and it wouldn't phase her. now take away phone privileges and her world was ending.

its not so much about what the actual punishment is, its more about finding what will disciplinary action gets the individuals attention, and the individual knowing you will follow through with it! once they no that it goes no farther than a smack on the wrist, you have lost all control! by the time the parent realizes it, it is way too late!
if my dad tried to hit me at 16 I would have fought back.
Old 12-19-2019, 01:54 PM
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Take the car away. Make him pay for everything. Etc. either he will get it or he won’t.
Old 12-19-2019, 01:59 PM
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I understand he is about to be 16 if this is the case in 2 years he will be an adult. I would suggest you start working towards that. Kids will be kids and if the kids he is with are smoking pot so will he. Have you ever smoked pot? If not I can assure you it is much safer than alcohol unless tainted or Chinese liquid vape. Your child will have to learn like the rest what his limits are. He will then have to learn not to exceed these limits this is called growing up. My parents knew boys would be boys and gave us the freedom to learn from our mistakes. Mom also preferred if we were going to drink we would do it at home supervised and without access to vehicles (Junior and Senior years). Probably her smartest parental move. We learned early how to drink responsibly and 40 years later no criminal record and never had a drinking or drug problem. You will not get your kid to quit smoking pot if he does not want to which is not the biggest problem you could have. The drinking and Prozac however can lead down a very dark path. Spend some time with him drink a beer or two with him. Teach him how to be responsible when he parties for he will party. Then maybe just maybe he can provide leadership to his friends when the time arises for an adult voice among kids. I know I possibly saved multiple lives by taking away friends keys and being a voice of reason while others were inebriated. Good luck and take a few deep breaths and go talk to your kid about the future he can or can not have his choice! Drunk dumb and stupid is not the way to go through life "Animal House Dean Wormer"

Last edited by jgatorman; 12-20-2019 at 05:07 AM.
Old 12-19-2019, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted by jgatorman View Post
Drunk dumb and stupid is not the way to go through life "Animal House Dean Wormer"
Fat, drunk and stupid is what Dean Wormer said.....
Old 12-19-2019, 02:23 PM
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My experience........was a social pot smoker back in high school and at 15-16 years old my parents found some weed in my room. My father basically followed whatever my mother said and she took the tough love route with drug testing, checking my eyes, going through my crap all the time. Didn't touch any other drugs but I didn't want to stop smoking weed and at 16 was given an ultimatum to quit or move out of my parents house.

I was a good kid with good grades, part time job, and very responsible at the time. I would not suggest to take the route my mother took with me, it made me resent her more and our relationship has never been the same. I turned out okay with a good family, home, boat, and a salary of close to 200K a year now.
Old 12-19-2019, 02:45 PM
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Father of 4, youngest is a 17 year old male. OP, your sons behavior is completely normal today. Most of the kids smoke pot/vape/drink beer at some level. He is surrounded by it and all his friends do the same. Be realistic, dont outlaw it, control it to a respectful level.

I wouldnt worry too much about or do anything drastic. Instead focus on the positive things he does-- reward him for good grades, hard work, job, being polite, respectful, responsible, sports. If he does these things, you will be more lax on his pot/vape/beer.

Let him know you cant watch him all the time but he is to respect your wishes while around you and he knows where you stand The cooler he is about it the cooler you will be. As he gets older, the occasional turn your eye and let him drink in house with close friends if they all sleep over and no driving. Dont rip him a new one if you find some vape or weed. He will be more likely to respect your wishes and do these things more responsibly, then eventually grow out of it on his own.

Last edited by p1i2t3a4; 12-19-2019 at 02:52 PM.
Old 12-19-2019, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Gullpt View Post
Went through it with my son at just the same age. We hit some real lows for a few years.
Now at 24 he’s doing very well for himself. Whatever path you take with your son DONT LOSE FAITH IN HIM
Same here. My son is now 23.
Don't lose faith in him

Old 12-19-2019, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by GR1FFIN View Post
Father of 4, youngest is a 17 year old male. OP, your sons behavior is completely normal today. Most of the kids smoke pot/vape/drink beer at some level. He is surrounded by it and all his friends do the same. Be realistic, dont outlaw it, control it to a respectful level.

I wouldnt worry too much about or do anything drastic. Instead focus on the positive things he does-- reward him for good grades, hard work, job, being polite, respectful, responsible, sports. If he does these things, you will be more lax on his pot/vape/beer.

Let him know you cant watch him all the time but he is to respect your wishes while around you and he knows where you stand The cooler he is about it the cooler you will be. As he gets older, the occasional turn your eye and let him drink in house with close friends if they all sleep over and no driving. Dont rip him a new one if you find some vape or weed. He will be more likely to respect your wishes and do these things more responsibly, then eventually grow out of it on his own.
I agree, someone has to be the trash man, 7 eleven clerk, motel 6 night manager, what a burger clean up guy with the mop. We need someone to lay fiberglass at these boat factories without ppe (respirators), chemical plant workers, ect... This is how we fill low wage jobs in America, that and a broken border.
Old 12-19-2019, 03:10 PM
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I teach my kids how to be leaders and independent adults, not grunts that follow the sergeants orders. But to each his own.
Old 12-19-2019, 03:24 PM
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Originally Posted by mikefloyd View Post
ditto; I would be majorly concerned with the vaping, the rest not so much.
Originally Posted by NJFISH View Post
I'd be more concerned with the vaping than the weed. That stuff is bad.
Such irony and ignorance. The health concerns that were attributed to vaping have since been debunked by the CDC and are directly connected with a cutting agent (vitamin E acetate) used in illicit THC cartridges. That means that those who are getting sick are using drugs.

To the OP, weed and vapes cost money. Does your son work or have any income outside what you give him? IF he's supported fully by you, it is you who is essentially purchasing these things for him. Cut off the money and he'll either have to bum his vices off of friends, start stealing to support his habits or quit altogether.
Old 12-19-2019, 03:37 PM
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I went through all of this with my youngest son, I was about to buy his first car when it went down. He chose to keep up everything on his terms over driving, all the way through high school.

Watching your kid morph into someone you don't even know is tough. He had never made a B up until this point, he slide right off the cliff.

His best friend was #3 in their class and where we live thats a huge deal. The kids dad made tons of money, professional in every aspect and turns out he was the one giving them pot.

Old 12-19-2019, 03:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Tuna Colada View Post
My oldest son who will be 16 in January was caught smoking pot with a friend over the summer. He swore it was the first time, that it was a lapse in judgement, yadda, yadda, yadda. About a month ago I noticed a couple of beers missing and called him on it. Of course he denied it. I figured at the very least he would be aware I was watching him. Fast forward to yesterday, we found a bunch of vape stuff and pot hidden in his room. For those who have dealt with this, how did you handle and would you do anything differently in hindsight? He is about to start driver's ed and his grandparents are giving him their old car. I'm not sure he is responsible enough to handle this. He has lost our trust by lying to us and short of taking away all privileges, what else can be done? Once you do that, how long should they be taken away? How does a kid regain your trust unless you are drug testing them? This just happened and we have not even approached him yet but the shit is about to hit the fan. I was no angel when I was his age so I can understand this behavior is not necessarily abnormal but it still needs to be corrected if that is even possible.
I have not seen any of the other replies, but I have a simple question

How did your parents correct it when it was you?
Old 12-19-2019, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted by GR1FFIN View Post
I teach my kids how to be leaders and independent adults, not grunts that follow the sergeants orders. But to each his own.
your kids are going to need labor in their buisnesses. Be glad some are helping fill that niche.
Old 12-19-2019, 03:53 PM
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I really have no advice for you other than to try and impress on your son that decisions he makes can affect the rest of his life. Many of us got lucky and escaped our teen years without any permanent scars, but I am sure every one of us has a story to tell about a friend or acquaintance who made a poor choice and paid dearly for it. I have been lucky to date with a 19 and 23 year old who have had no real issues of consequence. Some of their friends, however, made poor choices and their lives are forever changed and not for the better. My own humble brag was when my son told me he would not drink and drive or some such because he did not want to disappoint me. Good luck and I hope it works out for you and your son.
Old 12-19-2019, 04:05 PM
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I will tell you this.....

I have a relative that just lost his 22 year old son a couple weeks ago..his death was directly drug related and HE STARTED OUT JUST SMOKING WEED TOO....

The problem with any drug (alcohol or illegal drugs) at that age they are too young to realize possible danger.....

Say what you want about pot but it is NOT just a innocent drug, it is no better, no worse than alcohol..

Also the fact the kid has the balls to keep it in his room is pretty telling..

Last edited by Cracker; 12-19-2019 at 04:20 PM.
Old 12-19-2019, 04:08 PM
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Pretty normal for a 16 year old. My kids were not smokers but drank and we knew it. They were both very responsible as were their friends. Way more then we were at that age . I think monitoring was a better approach then punishing because it is going to happen with consent or not. I had a lot of 1 and 2 am party pick ups for a few years.
Old 12-19-2019, 04:15 PM
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I’m drinking a beer and smokin’ a bowl at this very moment...
Old 12-19-2019, 04:26 PM
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We were all teens at one time or another and we ALL did stuff like this growing up. Still, it doesn't make it right! I myself never got in to pot or any drugs for that matter because I saw first hand what it did to my older sister. I did drink as a teen, got caught by my parents, and got my a$$ whipped over it. Several times! When I was a teen beer was legal at 18 and liquor at 21.

Your son is 16 years old and it is illegal for him to drink alcohol or smoke pot, "legal in your state or otherwise", at his age. Your house, your rules. Doesn't matter if he likes it or not but until he is an adult the decision isn't his to make! As for the lying, that needs to stop now. Explain to him that part of being a man means owning up to his mistakes and that lying will destroy the trust in your relationship.

I know nowadays a lot of people wants to be friends with their children. Your children already have friends, they need a parent to guide them and at times punish them when they do wrong. Just by coming on here I feel you already have an idea about what you need to do. No need to second guess it. Use your best judgement and I am sure in the end everything will work out fine!
Old 12-19-2019, 04:26 PM
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Lots of posters with their own agendas: tough guy, survivor, rebel, braggart, free spirit, misfit, critic... typical THT.

OP: Your agenda is to protect your son. Govern yourself accordingly.
Old 12-19-2019, 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted by schoolsout1 View Post
I’m drinking a beer and smokin’ a bowl at this very moment...


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