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Things your significant other does that make you...

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Things your significant other does that make you...

Old 10-17-2019, 08:19 PM
  #101  
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Originally Posted by Walleye Guy View Post
Makes me f'n crazy. Wants to keep and store every container from Chinese carry-out food. Thank god I'm in charge of the kitchen now. The supply is slowly going away.
I knew I wasn't alone in this battle!
Originally Posted by Locke N Load View Post
I feel this may be a common one, but she always seems to be surprised when we get to where we are going. When we get to where we are going I put the vehicle in park, turn the key to off, pull key out, unbuckle seatbelt, open door and get out. Then I stand there for anywhere from one minute to ten minutes. Every single time. She will look up from her phone to realize we have arrived at our destination once I close the door. "Oh, we are home?" "Yes, the driving in our neighborhood for the last quarter mile may have been a hint." Then it will be some time to put everything that had to be out for the ride back into the pocket book. Phone, lipstick, pen and pad, phone charger, hairbrush, etc. Then she will have to collect whatever drink(s) and or food she had with her. Then get her sweatshirt/coat ready. Then look around to make sure she has not missed anything. At that point the door will open and she will get out only to then inspect the vehicle again making sure nothing fell on the floor or ground while she was getting out. Then it will be check on the kid if said kid is with us. Then yell to me about something she just thought of and finally close the door. Now I can lock the vehicle and walk away.

God forbid the phone rings or she gets a text during this process. I have been known to enter a restaurant, get seated, order drinks and then look out the window to see her finally leaving the vehicle and I can then hit the lock button on the fob. "Why'd you leave me?" Mmmmmm,hmmmmmmm

I know she has plenty of gripes about me. I don't listen, or something. I don't carry the laundry down to the washer. I leave a plate on the table for more than 10 minutes after dinner. I spend too much time on THT. Blah, blah, blah.
We have a similar thing but in an opposite sort of way. If we are at someone's house or out with people, when it's time to leave, it takes 15-20 minutes to get her in the car. We could have just spent four or five hours with someone but when it's time to go, she has some more stuff she just has to say. But, in her defense, she can't help it. It runs in the family. Her mother and sisters do the same thing. My father-in-law and I joke about it. We call it the Franqui goodbye (my MIL's maiden name). I learned a long time ago to just say goodbye to everyone, walk out to the car, listen to the radio or surf on my phone until she gets in.
Old 10-18-2019, 06:02 AM
  #102  
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Originally Posted by DotRotten View Post
She's standing behind you as you type I'd presume.
...no, but she a crafty woman. She everywhere and nowhere. The walls have eyes. I gotta be on my toes. No slip ups.
Old 10-18-2019, 07:25 AM
  #103  
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Originally Posted by OReely View Post
I knew I wasn't alone in this battle!

We have a similar thing but in an opposite sort of way. If we are at someone's house or out with people, when it's time to leave, it takes 15-20 minutes to get her in the car. We could have just spent four or five hours with someone but when it's time to go, she has some more stuff she just has to say. But, in her defense, she can't help it. It runs in the family. Her mother and sisters do the same thing. My father-in-law and I joke about it. We call it the Franqui goodbye (my MIL's maiden name). I learned a long time ago to just say goodbye to everyone, walk out to the car, listen to the radio or surf on my phone until she gets in.
Is she Irish? My wife has to say goodbye to EVERYONE before we leave.
Old 10-18-2019, 07:59 AM
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First let me say I love my wife. Honestly she would do anything for me. The good in her outweighs the bad which is why we have been together for 20 years. Having said that there are a few things that she does that drives me nuts. I'm not one to keep things to myself and neither is she so it isn't like we don't talk about it.

When it comes to cleaning house my wife and I are on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum. She will be the first to tell you I am better at cleaning that she is but that is an understatement. I tell her all the time that she only cleans what she can see. Not under, not behind, or around. For instance, when she cleans the kitchen counter, she will only wipe the areas that don't require moving things. Then I come along and start moving stuff to clean and there is crap everywhere. Same with vacuuming and dusting. Shelves with crap sitting on them just don't get dusted unless I do it. She refuses to dust picture frames!

Then there is the laundry room. She washes clothes and they end up piled on top of the washer and dryer. And the last load dried ends up left in the dryer, every single time! I did laundry yesterday as she has been out of town. When the dryer stopped I took the stuff out and put it away. She comes home last night and puts her stuff in the laundry and asked me why I didn't have any dirty clothes!

Brings in the mail and sits it on the kitchen table. If I don't go through it and throw it away it would stay there for months piling up. Finally, when she does dishes she loads the dishwasher to the point that you need to drop kick it to shut the door. I tried to explain that overloading it will cause it not to clean as well. Pots, pans, and knives get washed by hand. She will wash and rinse and put them in the dish rack where they will sit until she uses them again or I put them up.
Old 10-18-2019, 08:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Lorne Greene View Post
-Super strong sense of smell which gets really annoying that she smells things that bother her that no one else can smell
This. I call it her inconvenient superpower.
Old 10-18-2019, 08:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Strike1 View Post
Is she Irish? My wife has to say goodbye to EVERYONE before we leave.
An Irish Goodbye is when you leave without telling anyone. You may not even turn around for one last look before exiting. I'm the champ at this. I've already talked to everyone I wanted to and I've thanked the hosts. So why make a big deal about leaving. I don't consider it rude, I consider it efficient.
Old 10-18-2019, 09:32 AM
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My wife is great, so much so I wrote a song about her*:

Put another log on the fire,
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
Go out to the car, jack it up and change the tire,
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
Boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don't I warn you when you're gettin' fat?
Ain't I gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet 'cause I like you when you're sweet,
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.

So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
Go out to the car jack it up and change the tire.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

* Shel Silverstein actually wrote this song, not me
Old 10-18-2019, 09:52 AM
  #108  
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Originally Posted by eds500 View Post
An Irish Goodbye is when you leave without telling anyone. You may not even turn around for one last look before exiting. I'm the champ at this. I've already talked to everyone I wanted to and I've thanked the hosts. So why make a big deal about leaving. I don't consider it rude, I consider it efficient.
It is funny the Irish Whisper (yelling, usually something inappropriate, when drunk, but thinking you are whispering) is the opposite of the Irish Goodbye (slipping away silently).
Old 10-18-2019, 10:19 AM
  #109  
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I found out about 15 years into marriage that even though my wife is 100% Irish, an Irish Goodbye is leaving without saying a word. I thought it was the exact opposite.

Me? I'm awesome at standing at the door, rattling my keys, and waving...
Old 10-18-2019, 10:24 AM
  #110  
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Default Men R From Mars, Women R From Venus.

Read this book 40 years ago making the case that the two sexes are simply not mentally "designed" for living together, so I have my place and she has hers, and other then perhaps some day a live in house keeper, I couldn't imagine having to put up with another under my roof ever again.

https://www.amazon.com/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1IMSZXDAUSLT6&keywords=men+are+from+mars+women+are+from+venus+paperback&qid=1571415306&s=books&sprefix=men+are+from+%2Caps%2C1050&sr=1-2 https://www.amazon.com/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1IMSZXDAUSLT6&keywords=men+are+from+mars+women+are+from+venus+paperback&qid=1571415306&s=books&sprefix=men+are+from+%2Caps%2C1050&sr=1-2
Old 10-18-2019, 10:25 AM
  #111  
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Originally Posted by Strike1 View Post
an Irish Goodbye is leaving without saying a word.
I do this when I've had too much to drink. I call it my disappearing act

ETA: You guys who don't sleep with your wife, I don't know how ya do it. I don't sleep worth a damn alone. I gotta have some boobs to grab.
Old 10-18-2019, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Strike1 View Post
Is she Irish? My wife has to say goodbye to EVERYONE before we leave.
Nope, Puerto Rican. And it's not just goodbye. It's a hug and a kiss and some more talk and then another hug and a kiss.
Originally Posted by eds500 View Post
An Irish Goodbye is when you leave without telling anyone. You may not even turn around for one last look before exiting. I'm the champ at this. I've already talked to everyone I wanted to and I've thanked the hosts. So why make a big deal about leaving. I don't consider it rude, I consider it efficient.
That's me. Irish on my Dad's side and Scottish (mostly) on my Mom's. I say goodbye everybody and then it's exit, stage left. If somebody didn't hear me, oh well, I'll probably catch them next time.
Old 10-18-2019, 03:21 PM
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She's late to everything
Old 10-18-2019, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Boat Bum View Post
She turn the heat to 90 thinking it will reach 70 faster.
Someone one, some where is teaching them this d... fantasy, and doing a d... good job of it.
Try to explain it to her? Did you try that a second time?

I have never heard one actually say,
“I used to think it worked that way.”
Old 10-19-2019, 12:02 PM
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She always has multiple group texts going with family or coworkers and leaves phone on so it pings constantly. Doesn't even read the texts until later and wont shut off the volume.
Old 10-19-2019, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Boat Bum View Post
Squeezes the toothpaste in the middle of the tube.
Will just rip a bag open and not the way it was packaged to be opened.
Will stick her finger through the foil under the cap of whatever it is; e.g. ketchup, and then complains it doesn't come out right. She'll then put it back, left squeezed in the middle.
Leaves her shoes everywhere, well, only where I walk.

more later...
our wives may be long lost twins.
Old 10-19-2019, 05:57 PM
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My wife and I have been together for 30 years. We got serious fairly quick. She told me within the first month "I don't cook, I hate to clean and I will always have a horse".

My wife is not a liar! (At least I knew all the BS going in)
Old 10-19-2019, 09:00 PM
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Hehe.. it is a running joke with my wife's family. I can go around the house and Mrs. Ninja will have a half dozen coffee cups and water bottles strewn around half empty. Her dad and siblings just laughed when I mentioned it. I guess it goes back to long before we met.

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