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Abuse? What Would You Do?

Old 10-13-2019, 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted by nicecast View Post
Your cousin needs therapy immediately to break the cycle she's in. Nothing will change without it.
She is. But doesn't go deep into it. Keeps what she talks about surface level.

Originally Posted by Jughed View Post
I’m just across 301... we can load up in the truck, grab Smitty and whoop some ass.
Backup, though appreciated, won't be needed. She and I have too many mutual friends. A non physical visit and warning would be the only things needed. However, that would just embed the guy and drive her away from her family who ccares. That's the best thing you can do for the abuser.

Step one is gathering more info on the guy, but the advice has all been much appreciated. Definitely a frustrating situation.
Old 10-13-2019, 09:24 AM
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Originally Posted by TorFed View Post
She is. But doesn't go deep into it. Keeps what she talks about surface level.



Backup, though appreciated, won't be needed. She and I have too many mutual friends. A non physical visit and warning would be the only things needed. However, that would just embed the guy and drive her away from her family who ccares. That's the best thing you can do for the abuser.

Step one is gathering more info on the guy, but the advice has all been much appreciated. Definitely a frustrating situation.
Go Ravens!

I will never say that again.

How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it really has to want to change.
Old 10-13-2019, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by gofastsandman View Post
Go Ravens!

I will never say that again.

How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it really has to want to change.
You get out of what you put in to therapy. When I finally really gave into it, it was uncomfortable, and I felt like my therapist was attacking me, but he was right, and it was literally life changing. It gets ugly in there if you want to make real progress. Probably the hardest thing for most people to do.

Old 10-13-2019, 11:56 AM
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Good luck
its hard for normal people to understand women knowingly being trapped in a abusive cycles. It goes back to childhood and self worth. I feel for you
Old 10-13-2019, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by TorFed View Post
You get out of what you put in to therapy. When I finally really gave into it, it was uncomfortable, and I felt like my therapist was attacking me, but he was right, and it was literally life changing. It gets ugly in there if you want to make real progress. Probably the hardest thing for most people to do.


Old 10-13-2019, 08:02 PM
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Don’t listen to anyone who says to mind your own business. Look out for her because no one else will. Do what you can to help her.
Old 10-13-2019, 09:07 PM
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It's very unfortunate, however all of our lives look how we want them to, if not we would find a way to change them. It is impossible to will others to change. I've been there in other situations, not similar to this, but really not all that different. Feel bad for you, because there is really nothing you can do to actually make this situation any better.
Old 10-14-2019, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Cracker View Post
Take him fishing, problem solved...lol
I don't always agree with cracker, but this was my first thought.
Old 10-14-2019, 04:48 PM
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Torfed, I didn't read all of the responses but I spent years trying to help someone that didn't want to be helped. My only advice is to be there for her when she wants you to be there for her. Not before.
Old 10-14-2019, 04:56 PM
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Sounds like she is likely headed for lifelong problems and this is only the beginning. The change is going to have to come from her not from getting rid of him. She will have to learn her own worth and not seek out guys like this. You are better off not coaching her away form this guy but instead coaching her into believing in herself. You can boost her self esteem but she likely needs therapy. Getting rid of the guy is a temp fix until the next one comes along.

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