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The disowned a family member today thread

Old 08-10-2019, 12:47 PM
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When my mother was coming down with Alzheimer's she made it plain to me, "If no one comes to see me when I'm sick they don't get to come to my funeral." I promised her I'd carry out her wish to the "T", quite frankly I'm every bit as pissed as she was given the fact that all her nieces and nephews are local to her, she is god parent to at least two of them and took turns changing the diapers of all of them at one point in time.

Mom is still with us but as my once close cousins found out about moms request and that I planned on carrying out her wish I was contacted and told off (well they tried), it didn't phase me a bit, not only does mom come first, but mom is 100% right in my book.

If I never see these cousins of mine again, it won't worry me in the least, it's just sad that they have suck little concern for family as they do, they were raised better then that.
Old 08-10-2019, 12:55 PM
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Your Mom's rules.... RULE

Chuck
Old 08-10-2019, 12:59 PM
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Once you’re dead.. well, it probably don’t matter. But if it makes you feel better, yeah, I get it. I have family I don’t love either. I don’t even want a funeral. Once I’m gone... gone.
Old 08-10-2019, 01:03 PM
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I want to be dextered then fed to sharks or used as bait.
Old 08-10-2019, 01:05 PM
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people are not invited to funerals, at least I never heard of anyone being invited.
People just show up to support the grieving remaining family, if they find out of the death along with the date and place of the funeral.

if you do not invite, how can you keep anyone from showing up.

this is the strangest thing I ever heard
Old 08-10-2019, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by 99yam40 View Post
people are not invited to funerals, at least I never heard of anyone being invited.
People just show up to support the grieving remaining family, if they find out of the death along with the date and place of the funeral.

if you do not invite, how can you keep anyone from showing up.

this is the strangest thing I ever heard
It's easy to accomplish. Just call the folks and tell them they are not welcome at the funeral. I've done it before, no biggie.

Chuck
Old 08-10-2019, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by 99yam40 View Post
people are not invited to funerals, at least I never heard of anyone being invited.
People just show up to support the grieving remaining family, if they find out of the death along with the date and place of the funeral.

if you do not invite, how can you keep anyone from showing up.

this is the strangest thing I ever heard
Who said we were going to or not invite anyone? Like with all families I have siblings, one of them is bound to "announce" moms passing on social media or call a relative in good standing and word will spread.

If (unwelcome relatives) do show up they will not be allowed access. I doubt they will show, mom (when the time comes) will be laid out and buried 100 miles from where they live.
Old 08-10-2019, 01:34 PM
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Life is way too short to give this much of a shit.
Old 08-10-2019, 01:53 PM
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Definitely not one to judge or say what’s right or not right but pray with your mom so she can let this anger, hatred, whatever it is Go.

You can forgive others of their short coming yet still not have anything to do with them.
I would hate to see your mom pass on with hatred in her heart.
People are people and Alot of them suck in this world we occupy.
We don’t get to choose who we’re related to.

May God Bless and guide all of your hearts.
Old 08-10-2019, 02:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Riptied View Post
Definitely not one to judge or say what’s right or not right but pray with your mom so she can let this anger, hatred, whatever it is Go.

You can forgive others of their short coming yet still not have anything to do with them.
I would hate to see your mom pass on with hatred in her heart.
People are people and Alot of them suck in this world we occupy.
We don’t get to choose who we’re related to.

May God Bless and guide all of your hearts.
Thanks, mom is past the point of ever knowing her family again. She no longer remembers me, her other children, doesn't remember being married or some of her sisters at this point in time. The disease has been eroding her mind for a solid 7 years now and at just shy of 89 there's no hope she'll all of a sudden have any real recall to speak of. She's no longer disappointed or upset, just sings a few songs from her childhood and waits.

My cousins had a chance. they had a couple of years to drop by or even place a call to ask or speak with her, they made their choice, my mother made hers. Some of the family lived all of 3 blocks from her, a few more less then a 10 minute walk. There's never an excuse and as mom was able to recognize the slight, so was I. Our family's were very close growing up, once they grew up they lost their respect and sensibility.
Old 08-10-2019, 02:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Capt Henry Morgan View Post
I want to be dextered then fed to sharks or used as bait.
Doesn't that encourage sharks to attack humans ... thought I read that somewhere ......maybe that was deer meat .

My father didn't come to his fathers funeral because " excuse " - then mainly me looked after granma next 5 years (last one dementia) , he never called her . She passed last month . My uncle left 2 messages for him about her death and 5 days latter , 1 day after her funeral , he called bitching about not being informed . Some people just suck man and they will never see the universe without them at the center .
Old 08-10-2019, 04:31 PM
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I had a client who was worth many million but her relatives didn't know. They stopped coming by. Little did they know what they were missing. And..... She was a very friendly person.

And then she inherited another 20 mill. They still don't know.
Old 08-10-2019, 05:30 PM
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Originally Posted by popeyeiii View Post
Life is way too short to give this much of a shit.
And last I knew, death was eternal so...
Old 08-10-2019, 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted by popeyeiii View Post
Life is way too short to give this much of a shit.
Either you're a stand up guy who will be true to his word (especially one given to your parents) or you're not.
Old 08-10-2019, 06:52 PM
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I really hate these threads........I pray none of you ever experience having no family in your life....it sucks!

OP....are these kids? under 25 or adults?
Old 08-10-2019, 07:06 PM
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You have to respect moms wishes.
Old 08-10-2019, 08:15 PM
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I'm sure you know this, but when people have early on set alzheimer, their is a lot of negativity. I'm sure your mother had this and was not thinking properly. I would not waste one second on hatred for other family members because you feel slighted they didn't visit.

Sounds like it more you that is pissed.

My grandmother passed of alzheimers, it was not pleasant. As a family we would have never done something childish to deny others from paying their respect.
Old 08-10-2019, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Re-Bait View Post
I had a client who was worth many million but her relatives didn't know. They stopped coming by. Little did they know what they were missing. And..... She was a very friendly person.

And then she inherited another 20 mill. They still don't know.
Isnt that a country song? Lol
Old 08-10-2019, 10:44 PM
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If my kids spend more than a few hundred bucks on me after I’m dead they get nothing.

No way are putting me in a box in the ground. I want to be strung in a tree or dropped in the ocean. I’d like to be useful in my death.

To the OP: do what you think she would want... but be sure it wasn’t the dementia talking.
Old 08-10-2019, 10:53 PM
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Originally Posted by sinjun View Post
You have to respect moms wishes.
No. you have to do what’s right.

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