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Nephew and his MJ use

Old 06-17-2019, 04:06 AM
  #21  
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The weed sounds like the effect, not the cause. It's easy to think he's smoking weed every day and that's causing him to lose motivation to do anything productive, but I believe it's more likely in many cases that kids who struggle in many other different ways smoke weed every day because it's the only thing that makes them feel good in an otherwise shitty existence.
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Old 06-17-2019, 04:30 AM
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Maybe it's the parents that helped him to get that way, or maybe the kid is wired differently. Is it is the latter, not much can be done.
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Old 06-17-2019, 04:47 AM
  #23  
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Originally Posted by Hooper View Post
...

I donít want my son (age 7) going down this road and Iíll do anything I can to prevent it.

Can anyone relate?
Don't fall into the notion that "all kids do it". That's total bullshit.
The majority of kids don't smoke dope, most don't regularly drink alcohol either.

Nothing in your post implies that you are trying to take your nephew on as a project.
You rightly seem worried about your own kid going down "that road".
Good.

Stay open with your kid. Mock the things you don't want him to do.
Set a good example. Don't party and act like a fool in front of him.
Let others set the bad example, and talk openly about their silliness with your kid.
Kid's love honesty from their folks.





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Old 06-17-2019, 04:47 AM
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Originally Posted by WalkingTheDocks View Post
The weed sounds like the effect, not the cause. It's easy to think he's smoking weed every day and that's causing him to lose motivation to do anything productive, but I believe it's more likely in many cases that kids who struggle in many other different ways smoke weed every day because it's the only thing that makes them feel good in an otherwise shitty existence.
Chicken and egg.
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Old 06-17-2019, 04:57 AM
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100% lack of parenting from the day he was born! this started his sophomore year? sounds like mom and dad are too busy worrying about the party instead of being in tune with what is going on in their kids life!
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Old 06-17-2019, 04:58 AM
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Originally Posted by FishnDive View Post
How do you give a kid ambition. They have to have something that fires them up. Finding their interest is the key. They don't know what is out there. Aircraft pilot, boat captain, fireman, librarian, florist, rafting guide, find his interest and guide him down that road. Who know, he might become a multimillion dollar marijuana cultivator
its starts from the way you raise them from the time they are born! setting standards and sticking to them! teaching them the value of a dollar!
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:03 AM
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Take him to a US Military Recruiting Office, disguised as a head shop, when he is toasted. Sign on the dotted line for a free Sativa sample.
Bam! You're in the Army now.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:07 AM
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the kid is 18.
He's still figuring himself out.
I smoked the hell out of weed at that age, as did most of my friends. We probably appeared the same way -- lacking ambition, "dead end" jobs, etc. -- but a LOT of that is just being a teenager. Not sure what sort of job I was "supposed" to have as I graduated high school and went off to college. But bussing/waiting tables for three years at a local restaurant put plenty of money in my pocket and helped shape me as a person. Being a busser at 18 isn't dead-end.
Fast forward 20-25 years and some of my friends still smoke regularly. Some of us, including me, do not.
Either way, the ones still smoking daily are successful, active, contributing members of society, who are excellent parents and overall good solid people.

I agree with others that the kid could be depressed or have other issues and the weed helps him with that.
Or, without knowing him personally, he's just an 18 year old kid doing what lots of 18 year old kids do.
And I disagree that a steady girlfriend will help get him right. Will probably mess him up even more.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:09 AM
  #29  
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An 18 year old experimenting with weed seems like a non issue. Smoking weed is rampant in the software development world, lots of low 6 figure earning individuals are doing it frequently. I would focus on the lack of ambition, taking him to a sporting event, taking him fishing, etc seems like time better spent to me than going down the reefer madness trail. If you can get close enough to start a budget with him, the need for a better job to support those types of hobbies should be clear fast.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:09 AM
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Originally Posted by chrispnet View Post
Chicken and egg.
Yeah except in this case the OP said the Chicken was "never really a ball of fire to begin with" and he's "worried about him growing up". Looks like the kid has been off since before the weed smoking, he just finally found something that makes him feel good in ways that his life hadn't.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:26 AM
  #31  
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General thought

We have removed all discomfort from the lives of children today. The new term is snowplow parents as they clear the path of all obstacles. The need to fend for myself and not having a safety net made me the successful person that I am today. I want to give my children everything but that also including motivation to work hard so it is a double edge. Hunger is an excellent motivator but most people prevent it from being implemented.

Most people in these situations are enabled. I have seen with family members. Why not get messed up and watch tv all day, my life is the same anyway?

Let life start to suck for junior and he will come to a crossroads and realization pretty quick.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:30 AM
  #32  
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Got relatives that are frequent tokers. Their oldest 19, sells drugs, uses hard core stuff been in trouble with the law numerous times.

Unfortunately, today's society seems to have an affection for drugs and can come up with every excuse for using. I have never done any of it.

As far as ambition, I dont know if one thing equates to the other. I dont know if you can give someone ambition. Also daily drug use will certainly prevent him for getting many good jobs particularly all those listed above.

I will say from all my years of being a LEO, you aren't gonna make anyone quit illegal drugs till they want to..
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Last edited by Cracker; 06-17-2019 at 05:48 AM.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:31 AM
  #33  
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Thank you for all the replies. Chrispnet said it best, Iím not looking to become his light to salvation. Heís my nephew and I wish him well but Iím not fixing anyone.

My brother is a work hard party hard kinda guy. Growing up in a very alcoholic home I cringed when I saw the example they set. I have always said one of his kids will end up battling some kind of addiction someday, it seemed inevitable. Maybe itís mental health, I just donít know him well enough. Maybe he just doesnít want to work to better himself.

Truthfully, my brother was similar, growing up I always had a focus in life, what I wanted, who I wanted to be, my career, etc. Him, nothing. So I think The Apple Tree Theory May apply somewhat. He works 25-30 hours at a coffee shop, so thatís a dead end job.

If your aim is to live at home, put gas in the car and smoke ounces at a time then that will work. But not much beyond that. $100/ day pay doesnít get you very far.

My greatest concern is my own son. I am a huge believer in learning from the mistakes others make so as much as a train wreck as this could be, Iím taking it in and saying how do we avoid getting in that position. Weíve already had discussions that your life is shaped, both positively and negatively, by the choices we make.

Iím no stranger to substance abuse, I grew up with it and had my own battles with the drink. Iím sober 13 years now and I intend to die sober. My wife doesnít drink, never has. So the environment wonít influence my son, I believe. Anyways....now Iím rambling.

Lots of great insight here. Those opposed to weed please voice your thoughts too. Iíd like to hear both sides of the issue.

-Hooper
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:39 AM
  #34  
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I am not suggesting this is inevitable but... almost uniformly when I was back in rehab incoming new guys would share their story as to how they ended up burning their life to the ground. It always started with "at a young age I started smoking weed. Then I tried alchohol and ultimately went to opiates". Bringing down inhibitions or normalizing the use of drugs to change how you feel, especially if daily, is starting down the path to disaster.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:50 AM
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You will hear from some who have used regularly for years, asserting that there has been no adverse effects for them. There are also those, of course, whose lives have been adversely affected, and there is ample research indicating cause for concern:

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publicatio...tric-disorders

I have witnessed several cases of otherwise-healthy young adults manifesting symptoms of schizophrenia, with the only identifiable risk factors being chronic marijuana use and a distant family history of mental illness. Unfortunately, there is no reliable way to predict whether your nephew will be negatively affected, but longer term use increases risk.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:56 AM
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Hooper, you and your wife sound like great examples to your son. It’s never a guarantee that your children will never try drugs or alcohol but I believe the less they see you do it the better chance there is that they won’t do it or at least stick with it. We do not drink or use drugs. All four of my children have had a drink here or there and 3 of the 4 have smoked MJ. Our oldest did his share of the hard drugs. We have tried to guide them all away from that life style. They all grew up in church and we taught them to work for what they wanted. Today, they all have great careers and families. I guess what I’m trying to say is the Bible states “ Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it” Proverbs 22;6. Kids will do what they want no matter how you raise them but it’s up to us to direct their paths while they are under of roof. Do as much as possible with your son like sports, fishing, hunting etc. while he is growing up and yes, be a disciplinarian to him. Kids really do like structure in their lives. He will choose his own path but hopefully by being a great example to him, he will choose to be clean, compassionate and hard working as he grows older.
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Old 06-17-2019, 06:01 AM
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Just like with alcohol or any other drugs not everyone has the same control nor the same reaction. Not a fan; but recreational use, where it's legal, if done in moderation should not be a problem for most people. There will always be people who can't do any drug in moderation. If it's taking over his life it's a problem.
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Last edited by mikefloyd; 06-17-2019 at 08:50 AM. Reason: punctuation
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Old 06-17-2019, 06:09 AM
  #38  
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Originally Posted by SeaCat22 View Post
Take him to a US Military Recruiting Office, disguised as a head shop, when he is toasted. Sign on the dotted line for a free Sativa sample.
Bam! You're in the Army now.
Until he takes the whiz quiz.
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Old 06-17-2019, 06:12 AM
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Originally Posted by popeyeiii View Post
Until he takes the whiz quiz.
Kids these days use synthetic urine with a hand warmer and thermometer attached to it to get it to the correct temperature. Not sure if the military urine tests are done in front of someone, but most civilian pre-hire employment screenings are not, and they're very easily cheated with a little online research. I'm kind of surprised employers waste the $$$ on a test that's defeated so regularly, other than to please their insurance policy I guess...
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Old 06-17-2019, 06:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Cracker View Post

I will say from all my years of being a LEO, you aren't gonna make anyone quit illegal drugs till they want to..
But but "war on drugs"

I don't want to speak for you but I'm betting that as a law enforcement officer you haven't seen much success with this Total war on drugs have you? See if everyday must get depressing sometimes.
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