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Balancing Hobbies

Old 06-10-2019, 08:55 AM
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Default Balancing Hobbies

How do you balance your hobbies while life is happening at the same time?

I have far too many expensive and time consuming hobbies (not nearly enough income or free time); and with a little one in the house now I find it almost stressful to try and keep sinking money into them. For example I have a golf membership and a boat, sunken cost into both activities. If I play golf once a week, then I'm spending a stupid amount per round; and that bothers me.....plus I've got to make up for those months where I was hunting. If my boat sits for two weeks, that bothers me as well. I've lost currency as a pilot, so that hobby has already gone by the wayside. My wife and kid enjoy all of these activities as well. I feel like we will seriously regret selling/discontinuing any one of these hobbies for a period of time, but it's just difficult to make them ALL make sense. The kid is 2, so we'll be adding another soon; and I'm sure this doesn't get any better as they get older.

So what do you do?
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:09 AM
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Thatís life, itís normal.

I dropped almost all hobbies except the ones that the family (wife) could participate in and enjoy, plus I worked more.

Three kids and 38 years later I have more time now to do more of what I want.
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:14 AM
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Normal.

I'm into dirt bikes, motorcycles, and boats. We do 3-4 guys weekends a year riding dirt bikes. Enough to keep me satisfied. I'll take a Saturday a few times a month and ride the road bike all day, or go meet my dad and ride with him.

The boat sat for well over a year unused. It's paid for...doesn't bother me. Kid #1 is old enough now to enjoy it so we've been using it alot.

Kid #2 comes in 4 weeks, so that resets everything.

It's hard to balance it all, but you have to make time every now and then to do what you enjoy. Family obviously comes first.

I like to build furniture as well. That's gone to the wayside completely for now.

We want a camper or place at the beach, but will be waiting till both kids are old enough to enjoy. Can't do it all.
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:20 AM
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I have consciously chosen to never play golf, for fear that I would enjoy it, and end up with another expensive hobby that I don't have time for. But, even without golf, I'm still left with lots of expensive hobbies that I don't have time for [boating, fishing, oil painting, blacksmithing, welding, wood/stone/metal sculpture, gardening, fast car(s) and lots of other internal combustion toys (tractor, four wheeler, dirt bikes) that I maintain. ]

I once dreamed of being a great artist, but arrived at the conclusion that you aren't just born a great artist; it actually takes lots of effort and work, which I've been too lazy to do at this stage of my life. So, as with many areas of my life, I spend the most time doing the hobbies that give me the most joy (fishing and boating), and devote as much time and effort to the rest that I can consistent with maintaining a good quality of life. I've decided I'm not going to be excellent at any one thing, except, perhaps, living life. I'd like to think I'm a better than average boater, fisherman, painter, sculptor, gardener, "shade tree" mechanic, husband, father, grandfather, etc., and I've decided that's good enough for me.

Once I retire, which hopefully won't be too many years from now, I will devote more time to whatever hobby it is that gives me the most joy. Maybe I'll become a great artist after all, but all my spare time may end up being squandered on fishing and boating, instead.
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:22 AM
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I have similar thoughts as the OP. What I have found over time is that some hobbies fade away and just take care of themselves.

A few years ago I was riding my Harley everywhere, going on road trips, Sturgis, etc. Had a TON of FUN! But one day I woke up and realized I wasn't riding it as much and when I did I wanted to be with the family. Sold the Harley, bought a boat. Now I still get to enjoy the fresh air and it is with family and friends instead of more by myself.
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:55 AM
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Drop the golf membership. See if you can buy a group of rounds. Seems like there are tons of great deals in the summer by me
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by WPBTH View Post
Drop the golf membership. See if you can buy a group of rounds. Seems like there are tons of great deals in the summer by me
Not quite that simple. My friends are at this specific course. If I dropped the membership then I just wouldn't play golf; and that would bother me. Also, My wife and kid love riding around in the cart with me and using the pool at the club.
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Old 06-10-2019, 09:59 AM
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My belief is you can really only afford and or have time for one major hobby.
The caveat is you are a family man too. If single i could do tons.

But boating and fishing and taking care of the weekend place, our house, the yards, hot tubs, jet skiis, 2 boats, etc. suck all my free time and $$

I have really thought about trying my hand at track days and maybe racing but the family and or boating would suffer.
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:02 AM
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Golfnow.com....premium package gets you into many courses at great rates on days that you want to play...
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Kenny Powers View Post
Not quite that simple. My friends are at this specific course. If I dropped the membership then I just wouldn't play golf; and that would bother me. Also, My wife and kid love riding around in the cart with me and using the pool at the club.
Does your course offer a social membership? I haven't played in years, but am at the country club roughly every other wednesday in the summers to eat and hang out with the handful of guys I grew up with that I stay in touch with. If the mood strikes and I want to play a round, greens fees are much less than the off the street price, and still have access to the range.
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:08 AM
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Similar issues here. Wife, boat, golf, motorcycle, house projects, other stuff. I have a hard time giving any of it up so I split my time but it varies depending on what I feel like doing. If and when there comes a time when I can't afford to hang on to something, I'll let her go
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Kenny Powers View Post
Not quite that simple. My friends are at this specific course. If I dropped the membership then I just wouldn't play golf; and that would bother me. Also, My wife and kid love riding around in the cart with me and using the pool at the club.
Then what is the problem?
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:11 AM
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Yeah, before kids I had hobbies like blowing cocaine off a hookers belly. Then kids cane along and it got harder to do. The hookers were just as into it with a toddler walking around. I don't know why. That's when I started cooking meth in the kitchen becauses it's fun for the entire family. I was teaching my kids about chemistry and product yield and that was fun, until I almost blew up the single wide .
There are a couple kinds of fathers out there. You got the plain baby daddy who drops his seed and leaves.
you got your whipped daddy whose life is just over because he married a control freak
You got your sensitive and kind dad, who sees his role as being a father and it's about the kids
You got the a hole dad who is still stuck being single and just doesn't care.

The question is what kind of man and dad do you want to be? I value my kids. They are everything to me and time with them is or was precious as they grew up. I realized quickly that kids who have engaged fathers have a competitive edge in the classroom , in college and the work place. So, my hobbies that were about me naturally faded away.

My hobbies that could be experienced along with my kids stayed, like camping, backpacking , mountain biking , boating, fishing, exploring and such. I have a true story to share with you as a young father.

Here it goes. In July of 98 we were expecting our 2nd kid, a boy. I was jacked up because we ,(I) was going to have a son who I could do all that cool outdoor stuff with that I liked to do. You know kayaking, Mountain biking etc. My son Kyle was born and immediately things were not right. He was is respiratory distress. He was pallor and just not right. Turns out he was infected with group b strep. He was sepsis and close to death. Kyle spent a few weeks in the NICU , came home and then got horribly I'll. He had group b strep meningitis. About a week later his brain hemorrhaged and his occipital lobe was toast. Kyle is severely disabled and mostly blind.

I thought my life was over. All the things I thought I would never do because of my son. The condensed story is Kyle hated the outdoors, he hated the beach , he hated kayaking and he hated camping. Until one day when he was 4 years old I rented a center console in the Keys. He absolutely loves boating. Kyle turns 21 this July.

Kyle loves the outdoors, he loves the lake, he loves boating and he loves camping. Sometimes life hands you or your family a curve ball and what once seemed important no longer isn't and somethings are worth not giving up on with your kids no matter how hard they seem.

I can't tell you what hobbies matter and which ones don't. I can tell you as a man and dad, I loved the time I got to spend with all 3 of my kids as we raised them and that time was more important to me than my "hobby time". I love the water and raised my kids on it. If I had to choose between golfing and the boat, hands down the boat wins every time. For the record, I got my kids on the water as soon as they could hold their head up, they had a life jacket. All of my kids had infant swim lessons and my daughter and other son we're swimming on their own by 2.5. I taught them to snorkel between 3-4 years old. We took our kids to the springs and reefs in the keys and as preschoolers they were snorkeling. Don't be afraid to have adventures with them early on.

Good luck and I wish I could do it all over again.






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Old 06-10-2019, 10:12 AM
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Iíve been boatless for a few years now since we bought a travel trailer. Donít have time for both and we enjoy camping a lot. Plus I have enough friends with boats and really enjoy boats a lot more when I am not the captain! Most of my other hobbies are semi-work, doing repairs and projects around the house. And I am trying to grow stuff in the garden, but that hasnít really been productive so far. Look at how many of your neighbors have toys that never get used. Only so many hours in a day, add to that weather that doesnít always cooperate, plus other things that just pop up out of nowhere and it isnít a surprise. Golf is not costing you anything to put on hold or just once in a while and clubs donít take up much space. I would maybe consider selling one big ticket item and reduce the baggage some.
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:14 AM
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Sell golf clubs. Cancel membership. Fill boat with gas. I used to be into a lot of stuff now with the 2 kids it's boat and family. Keep it simple.
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:21 AM
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Get into hobbies that involve the family..that involve the kids.
Yeah tough when they're still very young, but as they get old enough....you'll know when to introduce them.
Got my son into doing work on his own car....
For quite a while in the winter we'd enough at least 1 evening a month at the shooting range...
He's not into boats lately...hate them actually, probably because he works at a marina as the parts manager. But I still enjoy good food with him and good beers.
My daughter....until recently she loved riding on the back of the Harley. She's juuuust getting into the "step back from the parents" stage..she's 16, pushing her independence. But I enjoyed throwing a lot of different interests at her and seeing what stuck.

I'd vote for going for the hobbies that do involve the family and esp the kids. Year after year of good quality family time doing "things" is what gives them a great child hood to look back upon in their later years.

When you're empty nesters...you can return to independent hobbies, or maybe some that involve the wife.
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:30 AM
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I have always had an insatiable desire to learn new things. Which has led my hobbies into some strange places.

At the end of the day, I have learned that if the wife is not at least marginally into my hobbies, I'm out of that. I enjoy my time with her too much to just be "with the guys" all the time.

The Harley was fun, I still carry my endorsement and I had ridden since 1980. But she had to have the "perfect" day to go with me. So that led to 30K in a custom Road King that was only for me. Pretty selfish at the end of the day. Same with my old classic cars, but the flood of 2016 wiped them out.
Same with my kids. I want to do stuff they will do with me.
Life has a way of culling things if you pay attention, And it appears you are.
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:33 AM
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Originally Posted by SmokyMtnGrady View Post
Yeah, before kids I had hobbies like blowing cocaine off a hookers belly. Then kids cane along and it got harder to do. The hookers were just as into it with a toddler walking around. I don't know why. That's when I started cooking meth in the kitchen becauses it's fun for the entire family. I was teaching my kids about chemistry and product yield and that was fun, until I almost blew up the single wide......
Roll Tide!
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Old 06-10-2019, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Kenny Powers View Post
Roll Tide!
Post of the day.


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Old 06-10-2019, 10:42 AM
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Yea, Love them hobbies. I have lots of em.
I never finish anyth....
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