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Unforgiveable??

Old 05-22-2019, 07:27 AM
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Ever had a relative or close friend do something you simply could not forgive? You may have had to continue being in contact as in family events etc,but in your mind they were a useless crap stirring POS? The mental connection was severed.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:34 AM
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It took me a VERY long time to truly realize, recognize and understand that buy not forgiving folks does much more damage to me than forgiving.

Now....what people confuse these days is forgiveness vs forgetting. Two totally different things.

One is good for your soul and stress and the other is good for your pocketbook!
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:40 AM
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Brother and sister-in-law’s, we traded working on each other’s houses back and forth (siding, light framing, I even contributed 200 feet of over head service wire with entrance and panel to his pole building). Come my mother and father-in-laws 50th anniversary party, my wife organizes and purchases what is necessary. There are 6 kids so she splits the cost between them and sends out a letter with the cost to the kids. The brother and sister in-law sent us an itemized bill for the work they did at our house several years before. Paid their bill and haven’t spoken to them since. They never did contribute to the 50th anniversary party.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:41 AM
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Curious to see some replies from ones who were cheated on by their spouse.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:42 AM
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Yeah,I don't let other people rent space in my head. You cant control them, only how you react to them.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:44 AM
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Yeah, my two brothers.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Carpe Cerevisi View Post
Yeah,I don't let other people rent space in my head. You cant control them, only how you react to them.
You make it sound so easy. Trust me it doesn't always work out like you say.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:47 AM
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i forgive as it is part of my biblical belief system however i do not simply forget because one does need to protect themselves from further damage.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:51 AM
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My X g/f sunk my old boat. Problem is my brother is best friends with her brother. Heard she is getting married. I feel bad for whoever that guy is. She is a **** whore. Dumb ass bitch ho. lol.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:53 AM
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I have 2 brothers and I haven't talked to one of them in 30+ years. I don't even know if he is still alive. He is getting close to 70 and last I heard he was an alcoholic. To much to go into about the crap he has done. Sad thing is he has 3 kids that I have never met but I know he has filled their heads with lies about myself and my other brother.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Carpe Cerevisi View Post
Yeah,I don't let other people rent space in my head. You cant control them, only how you react to them.
wow thats a good one , I'll have to remember that

I know Garrett - might cut down on some static .
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:56 AM
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I have a bad issue with not forgiving people. Probably lost a couple friends and family members over the years but just can't go back after I feel someone has taken advantage of me or tried to screw me over. Few of them probably seem petty to some but I can't change it. I am the same way at work. Lie once and that's a wrap. Lot less stressful to be honest. Be done with them and move on.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:57 AM
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Guy I grew up with, my best friend. After my daughter was born and my family got settled into our new home. I offered for him to quit his job, help me out, I’d give him a place to stay and he could move forward with me as a partner in a business I was starting. Everything was great for 8 months or so, then he called, he wasn’t coming in he was heading out of town to play cards for the weekend. He was one of the best card players I knew, we spent a lot of time at house games and on the casinos boats when we were younger. I bankrolled him some cash, he put it back in the safe the following Monday. This occurred for maybe a month...but he was showing up to work less and less. Then one Monday, I walked into work, went to my office and saw my safe was empty. Haven’t heard from him since. I shut the business down 2 months later. He could’ve asked for it, we grew up broke, I’d have given it to him.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:00 AM
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YES! If it was intentional, I rarely forgive and I never forget.

But I don't make a big deal, as I just don't give a shit about them anymore.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted by RussH View Post
I have 2 brothers and I haven't talked to one of them in 30+ years. I don't even know if he is still alive. He is getting close to 70 and last I heard he was an alcoholic. To much to go into about the crap he has done. Sad thing is he has 3 kids that I have never met but I know he has filled their heads with lies about myself and my other brother.
I have not spoked to one of mine for like 10 years. Hate that guy. He's such a D head. I'm only in my 30's stopped talking to him in 20's. He def has a drug problem.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:04 AM
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Got me a couple of cousins like that. The family get togethers are never the same anymore.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:08 AM
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It took a long time to learn that there's a difference between tolerance and indulging somebody's BS. I had to learn that holding a resentment is like pissing on yourself, you're the only one that feels it. I agree with others that I can forgive but not forget.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:10 AM
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I have forgiven my transgressors, even pray for them. And like everyone, there are more than I wished. There are times I can have a pity party and feel sorry for myself, blame everyone for my issues. But it rarely last more than a few moments.

Some I still have to deal with. Some have no idea why I am not in their lives any more.

I know who I am, and I make no apologies for it.

Trusting those that have wronged me is what I will not do. And if I can't trust someone, it is hard for me to have a relationship with them.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:18 AM
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Uncle and aunt. I sold their house for them. It was just in uncle's name. He approved a $1k credit for repairs resulting from the inspection without talking to his wife. She got pissed, he panicked and said I forged it. She wanted to press charges. It got as far as a scheduled hearing with the real estate commission. I called him that morning to give him one more chance to come clean, or else I would be sending his wife the emails approving the credit, and taking the emails with me to the hearing, and pressing charges against him in return afterwards. He made the right choice and I was informed the hearing was canceled. Dead to me.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:20 AM
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Russ and many others here. Certainly not trying to preach nor tell you what to Do but I have much experience in the forgiveness arena and I can tell you all without a shadow of doubt that the hatred built up inside continues to swell and fester and often leads to health and emotional issues down the road.

Forgivness IMO does NOT mean telling the person, it just means you harbor no hard feeling for what they did, and pray for them.

Just my take.
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