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I feel bad about this, opinions wanted

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I feel bad about this, opinions wanted

Old 12-06-2011, 04:05 AM
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Do it, you will feel guilty if you don't. If your dad is anything like me, he will be thrilled to spend anytime he can with his son.
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Old 12-06-2011, 04:27 AM
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What a great thread! Do it. Make that boat sweet for him! I am calling my dad....
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Old 12-06-2011, 05:22 AM
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Go for it and get him involved in the project. Even if you don't agree with some of his ideas try to incorporate them and make him feel valued in his input.

It can be difficult when a middle ground is hard to reach sometimes with family, but look at this as more of time spent together then you doing the project 100% the way you think is correct.

Hell sometimes I am still a little surprised when my Dad has an idea that works out well! Even at 40 I guess I still think like a kid sometimes, "I know it all!!!!"

Good Luck!
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Old 12-06-2011, 05:39 AM
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Night Crawler do it and try and get your dad to at least come over and sit with you while working on the boat if possible. You won't regret it.
Some of the best memories I have with my father was working on one of many project boats he and I had over the years. Even though we at some point or another ended up arguing about who had a better way of doing something in the end we would both end up out in the boat yard working on it again. Plus our little disagreements have always given the family something to laugh about during family gatherings.
Wish my father was still around now to help my sons and myself work on our current project boat.
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Old 12-06-2011, 05:43 AM
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DO IT!!!Whether its at your House or His.My Dad never spent alot of time with me,He did get me interested in Fishin' though.Mom and Dad Divorced after 28 yrs. of Marriage.I blamed Him for alot and did not stay in contact with Him.He was a Loner. He died quite a few years ago from Lung Cancer.I was there for Him when He was sick and was holding Him in my arms when He took His last breath.He tried to tell me something before He passed.To this day I cannot figure out what it was.He couldn't talk as He was dying.In retrospect ,I wish I would have bit the Bullet,not been so resentfull and hooked up with Him after the Divorce.A day does not go by that I don't regret it!!Git 'er done!!!

Sad part for me is that I have a 21 yr. old Son that never wants anything to do with me,doesn't want to learn anything from me,unless He needs something.He is a good Boy,Works hard.I swore on my Life when I was young that I'ALWAYS be there for my Family...and I have without reservation!!! Been Married 30 yrs. now.Maybe I smothered Him too much,who knows..But I do know when I go ...He will have regrets for the rest of His Life which Kills me.!!As I do to this day. [Mike]

Last edited by Lone Ranger; 12-06-2011 at 06:01 AM.
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Old 12-06-2011, 05:47 AM
  #26  
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I lost my dad when I was 38... He was 60... There's not a day goes by that I don't think of him... He and my brother would stop by and ask if I wanted to go fish, play golf or hang out but I'd say no... I remember it as if it was yesterday.... Didn't go cuz the wife and I bought a house and I was doing yard work etc. and thought he's be around for ever... man was I wrong...
When I needed to talk to him we'd meet up at his office and he'd close the door and it was just me and him talking... I cherish those memories as I could see the pride in his eyes as we sat and talked... I have a picture of him holding my older daughter when she was around five, both of them just full of life and he so proud of his first granddaughter... What i'd do to have him back if even for just 24 hours...

The point of me telling you this is DO IT! Call him up and tell him you'd like to stop by... Bring your cleaning stuff and tell him your gonna go out and give the boat a bath. If he ask's why tell him cuz you want to... Bring a lawn chair out for him so he can hang with you and talk... Maybe a couple of beers if he is into that... You have to give it a shot and see where it takes you...
When it's all said and done, you will be able to go to bed at night knowing you gave it a shot. If it brings you and him closer then it's win/win, if not, at least you tried and know going foward that you have no regrets. If he pushes back don't give up...

Good luck and let us know how you made out if you'd like...
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Old 12-06-2011, 06:28 AM
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Definitely DO IT. I have had my own boat now for about 15 years and my dad had always fished with me. I know it bothered him with me being the "captain" as he wasnt in charge. He never owned a boat and finally decided that since he was retiring at 71 he wanted his own boat. I tried to talk him out of it as I knew it would only be more work for me to maintain it. I tried to convince him to just come out with me, but his mind was made up. He would up getting a little 16' Key Largo center console and was just thrilled about it. It needed some minor work and a cleaning. We worked on it together for while and then I worked through the night the day before father's day to finish it for him. I went out with him that father's day and he was the captain. He had a blast. He got to use the boat just 3 times. We found out he had cancer throughout his body and he was gone in two months. Don't wait. Do it for him and do it for you.
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Old 12-06-2011, 06:29 AM
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Originally Posted by 240 LTS View Post
"He who hesitates is lost"



You will be teaching your family what it means to be an adult son. What it means to be doing something out of the goodness of your heart.

I wish you all the best.

My dad has been gone just over 2 years, My Mom, 11 years.


.
240 might come off a little harsh in his bolded comments through you're quoted post, but he's absolutely right. You have a golden opportunity to spend some time with your dad. My dad died 4 years ago....he was 51. I was 30 years old at the time. I used to always just assume some day he and I would be playing ball with my children, just as he and I did when I was little. I now have a 3 year old son that he never got to meet, and I feel like we have both been robbed of so much that I wanted to experience and that I wanted my son to experience. I'll tell you what, I would kill to work on an old boat with my dad right now. We would butt heads constantly, but in the end it would be such a valuable moment. You might learn a thing or two about your "old man".
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Old 12-06-2011, 07:26 AM
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I didn't read many of the replies, this has probably been covered.

First, you did the right thing by not going into a partnership. That almost always turns out bad and you knew before you went in that this one would.

Second, Did you ask your dad what his thoughts are? I lost mine when I was 17. He was just a tad older than I am now at 40 when he passed. Really wish I had the opportunity to do something like this with him. Still wouldn't have gone partners with him, but would spend a lot of my time and effort to fix some of his stuff up with him and enjoy the time together.

Good luck.

Edit: Have the discussion this week. Glanced at some of the other replies too. Do it WITH your dad if you and he can.
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Old 12-06-2011, 07:35 AM
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Damn...lots of opinions here. Life is too short...ask away..it will be a great son & father experience and who couldn't use that...good luck.....thats my opinion..LOL
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Old 12-06-2011, 08:43 AM
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Reposes the boat, let cops know what your doing, and surprise him.

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Old 12-06-2011, 08:48 AM
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Hey Night Crawler, Let me know if you want some Star brite cleaners & polish to help with the project. I'll even kick in some Star Tron to keep the engine running happy.

You're lucky to have a dad worth helping out.

Bill
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:20 AM
  #33  
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One of the finest memories I have of my father ( died last year age 99) was when, at age 91 blind and virtually deaf, my brother and I took him down to the Keys for one last tarpon trip. Second night as he was drifting back the mullet a tarpon hit and he tried to slow it down by thumbing the spool on the TLD 25. He was so proud of the resulting blister!! The last time I saw him alive he still talked about it. Yes we landed the fish

So night crawler do it. You'll regret it if you don't make the effort.
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Old 12-06-2011, 09:22 AM
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No one else can give to your dad what you can.

Give it your all and expect nothing in return...it's not about you.

.
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Old 12-06-2011, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by s_ebels View Post
Lost my dad when I was 26.
I would give my left nut to have a chance to do anything at all for him.

Make the offer and let him say no if he wants to. You'll always live with "what if" should he pass away before you have a chance.

This x2.
I would give anything for just one more conversation with my Pops.
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Old 12-06-2011, 11:42 AM
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I would first ask your Dad for his thoughts on the subject but it's hard to imagine anything except positive out comes from making your Dad's boat useful again. Even if he never uses the boat, he will know what you did for him.
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Old 12-06-2011, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Andy'sDelight View Post
240 might come off a little harsh in his bolded comments through you're quoted post, but he's absolutely right. You have a golden opportunity to spend some time with your dad. My dad died 4 years ago....he was 51. I was 30 years old at the time. I used to always just assume some day he and I would be playing ball with my children, just as he and I did when I was little. I now have a 3 year old son that he never got to meet, and I feel like we have both been robbed of so much that I wanted to experience and that I wanted my son to experience. I'll tell you what, I would kill to work on an old boat with my dad right now. We would butt heads constantly, but in the end it would be such a valuable moment. You might learn a thing or two about your "old man".
I didn't intend for my reply to be received as harsh. I used Bold just so it was easier to read. Sometimes when a thread moves along the OP's words fade a little so I just wanted to quote reply directly to what NC was saying.
I meant no disrespect. Just trying to be clear that's all.
I hope it was received that way.

Thanks,


.
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Old 12-06-2011, 01:34 PM
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Surely will not hurt to ask him, he may be wishing you would help him. I wish I had my Dad here too. I would of loved to taken him out on my boat. That man loved the water, had more money than he ever needed and health issues kept him sidelined.
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Old 12-06-2011, 02:43 PM
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240, Your post and responses were just fine and points were all very well meaning if I may say so myself.... I think your color choice of red just made your well meaning ideas stand out in a negative way. People perceive the color red as negative versus a positive but in going back and re-reading your post and ignore the colors, all very solid advice.... I don't think the OP could take your answers as anything but very constuctive and hearfelt so I wouldn't worry... Your cool...
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Old 12-06-2011, 03:26 PM
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If he is anything like my father he will complain, bitch and grumble the whole time you're busting your tail working on it. You're takin too long, that looks bad, that's not right blah blah blah.

Then when it's all done his face will light up and he'll tell you that's the best thing anyone's ever done for him.

Go for it-don't take NO for an answer.

PS If he punches you in the arm that means "I love you"
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