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What's The Dumbest/ Funniest Thing You Did on Your Boat

Old 05-21-2019, 07:18 AM
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Default What's The Dumbest/ Funniest Thing You Did on Your Boat

OK I'll start this off. When I got my new boat I used the bait well to store an extra inflatable life jacket. I didn't realize that water got in without running the pump. You can imagine my surprise when it auto inflated - DUH!!! Live and learn

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05-21-2019, 08:09 AM
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Went into the cabin to have some fun with my GF and the anchor had come undone. We must have been in the cabin a long time as we floated some distance down the river and I didn't notice until we hit the shore line. Stuck my head out to find us in someones back yard who was having a small party.
Old 05-21-2019, 07:26 AM
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A lot more than I want to admit. Forgetting to put the antenna down and whacking every low power line on the road until the antenna broke.

Forgetting to bring in the swim ladder, throwing a huge rooster tail behind the boat. Couldn’t figure out why she was a little sluggish getting out of the hole! Bent ladder and couldn’t get it out. Had to limp in and use a saw and hammer to remove it. Fortunately it was a Carolina classic so the hull didn’t crack under the pressure. The kids still remind me of this one from time to time.
Old 05-21-2019, 07:27 AM
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where do I start..........how bout grounding (Turkey Point Shoal) for 5 days) taking a boat from Singer Island to Chicago without Loran (80's) . Dead reckoning lol
Old 05-21-2019, 07:34 AM
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Skiing with sunglasses on, no life jacket and drinking beer. Jumping off the boat at full speed to whiz, with a couple beers while no one was watching and waiting for them to notice. Probably something naked in a boat in public with beer too, sounds familiar at least... All as a minor. All perfectly safe and legal back in the 80's because nobody died or went to jail. But we never forgot to put the plug in. Makes me want to start drinking again.
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Old 05-21-2019, 07:38 AM
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Fortunately nothing too, too terrible. But here we go:

Worst one - Backing my buddy's new Ford Ranger down to retrieve his boat on a narrow ramp, I hit a yellow post with the fender. Left a nice little scrape.

Forgot to put the plug in my 16' Action Craft and didn't realize it until I got on a shallow flat and tried to pole the boat. Noticed she was drafting more than normal and feeling very sluggish. Only then realized I had a ton of water in the bilge. Put the plug in from the inside and pumped it out with the bilge pump

Funniest one - Launched my new (to me) 15' Boston Whaler Super Sport solo the first time I used it and it left the trailer much more quickly than previous boats I had owned. Before that with other boats, I typically unstrapped the boat, backed it down the ramp until the trailer wheels were touching the water, pushed the bow of the boat back a couple feet, got in started the boat and backed it off. The Whaler took off like a rocket when I got down the ramp and started drifting away. Luckily, another boater saw my plight and took me to the boat.

One time in my 16' Action Craft I was running the St. John's river after a hurricane had passed close by. I was already worried about debris in the water and my mind was easily influenced. I hit a small board flat board that I didn't see, felt the small thump and turned around only to see the motor shooting a giant rooster tail. Fearing that I somehow damaged the boat, I idled to shore, lifted the motor, only to find that the board had wedged itself between the transom and the foot of the motor.

Left the Powerpole down a couple times when trying to move. Never tried to take off too hard before realizing it was still down.
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Old 05-21-2019, 07:58 AM
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One time I had just loaded the boat on trailer and pulled her out after a long day baking my brain in the sun, ramp was empty so I started the process of getting ready for the road. Realized the boat wasn’t setting just right on the trailer so backed her back down far enough to float the ass end and get her straight. She wouldn’t budge for some reason so I backed a little more but still not floating. Then realized the bilge pump was steadily pumping out water. Then it hit me, I already pulled the plug and put the transom straps on lol. Felt pretty stupid at that moment but luckily no harm done. Also glad no one was there to watch my stupidity that day.
Old 05-21-2019, 08:04 AM
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Forgot to tilt the engine up and drug the skeg for a couple feet.

Also, since giving my kids some jobs/responsibility (ages 6 and 8) I find we often drive away with a swim ladder down or a stern line in the water.
Me: "did you pull in the dock lines?"
8YO: "yep":
Me "really?"
8YO: "yep"
Me: "both of them"
8YO: "uh..." (looks around and points) "there's one"
Me: shakes head

Last edited by whalerboy; 05-21-2019 at 08:17 AM.
Old 05-21-2019, 08:09 AM
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Went into the cabin to have some fun with my GF and the anchor had come undone. We must have been in the cabin a long time as we floated some distance down the river and I didn't notice until we hit the shore line. Stuck my head out to find us in someones back yard who was having a small party.
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Old 05-21-2019, 08:10 AM
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Buried prop in sand, panicked and threw it into reverse at WOT instead of just going to neutral and trimming up.
Swim ladder left down.
Fenders left out.
Took turn to sharp and bent trailer fender on rock.
After a storm, a tree was down in our road. I went around it and saw it hit the trailer towards the end. Turns out it sliced through one of my transom straps. I went back to see if I could find it but someone already picked it up.
etc
Old 05-21-2019, 08:14 AM
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We were running back from the canyon in my Reg and a photo helicopter was taking pictures...my friend mooned him at 45mph...bought the picture for him for x-mas...
Old 05-21-2019, 08:16 AM
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I had bought a center console hull that needed to be finished. Already had a boat so put this one on a mooring for the first season, needed an outboard so put a small tiller outboard on it. Didn't want to either pin it to the transom nor did I want to scratch it at all, so came up with this great idea to put a piece of cardboard on the transom to "protect it" - so I'm using the boat I make a sharp turn, the motor grabs water and bites hard. Before I know it the motor is in the air, nothing holding it to the boat except the goddamn fuel line. Eventually, the fuel fitting separates and she goes and literally ran all the way to the bottom. Anyhow, thankfully I was only a few hundred yards away from where I left from so got towed back in. Next tide, a friend went out into the mud and got it back. Friend got it up and running, buddy gave it the whole nine yards. I get it back, she's finicky at first. Put another hundred hours on it, threw it in the same river a few more times before a buddy of mine sold it for me. I am willing to bet an obscene amount of money that she's still running on a panga in Cape Verde.
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Old 05-21-2019, 10:52 AM
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Not necessarily "funny" but kind of ironic. I was dating a girl on the down low and we were on the "cool off" cycle. I invite a new GF and a buddy to go to the sandbar. He shows up with, guess who?? He had no idea I'd already been there and done that. She and I kept it to ourselves and somehow made the afternoon work, tense but it worked....
Other than that I've been a good boy.....
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Old 05-21-2019, 01:30 PM
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All the usual things as I was brand new to boating a couple years ago. Transom straps left on when going to launch. Motor left running when pulling trailer out. Dragging skeg when pulling boat out. Anchor line wrapped around prop. Hitting anchor light on low bridges x 2. Multiple fishing poles and other expensive things (phones, sunglasses, etc) in the drink. Hitting trailer fenders on things when going around corners. BUT, I've never left the drain plug out. Therefore, I am not a basic bitch of boating!
Old 05-21-2019, 01:37 PM
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All the usual stuff.

But the most annoying was Used 2" self tapping screws to attach VHF to roof. Roof was 1.75" thick.
Old 05-21-2019, 01:39 PM
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None of you have the clearance to know what I've allegedly not been accused of.. I'll leave it at that..
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Old 05-21-2019, 01:44 PM
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Not necessarily what i did but if there was a camera recording the whole incident, it would have gone viral.

This happened when i was around 16- I was working on my 17' Aqausport's fuel system behind the house in the canal. I'm down on the deck, working with my back to water and near the open transom. Fuel hose disconnected from the motor and priming the system. Without pumping the valve, i start hearing a hissing sound. It stops for a few seconds, then starts again a few few times. I really have no clue what's going on. I sit up and it hits me- literally: A big angry swan was sitting right behind me and PISSED!!!

I had issues with this swan for years in the canal- we just couldn't get along and i fed him, his partner and the babies every year lol. He started flapping and biting and hissing more. I literally dropped all tools and had to dive into the yard to avoid the onslaught. I never saw him sneak up and this was a full on sneak attack. I still laugh about it 15 years later about how it would have looked on camera- me looking at this fuel hose wondering WTF while the swan lines up right behind me.
Old 05-21-2019, 02:40 PM
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Where to start... Oh yeah. Hit a rock with my twin screw aft cabin. My first year with a boat that size. We left early in the morning (kids were still sleeping) and I decided to take the "shortcut" which is notoriously known for eating props at low tide. I saw other boats going through the shortcut channel, figured we still had plenty of water and decided to join in. Just shy of the point of reckoning, my crappy chart plotter decides to go dark. No problem, I'll just follow the boat in front of me. Sure enough, I clip a rock and it sounds (and feels) like we just hit an iceberg. I do an about face and get us to deeper water and start looking for water rushing through the hull. Finally figure out maybe I just clipped a prop. Now we have 80 miles to go with one decent prop and for some reason I decide to keep both engines turning and limp home at about 5 knots with tons of vibration to constantly remind me of my idiocy. About 13 hours later we finally arrive at our destination. The wife didn't say a word to me for the entire trip, which was sort of a blessing in disguise. Gave me lots of time to think. I later realized that I could have shut down the engine with the bent prop and probably could have doubled my speed with the one good prop. I never did tell my wife that.

Later on, I bought a POS 20' center console. I'm not even going to tell you the brand of the boat since it was embarrassing enough driving the thing around. Anyway, before a trip I had changed a few through hulls that looked sketchy and added a nice live well (turned out to be the nicest part of the boat). However, in the process I somehow drilled a quarter inch hole through the bottom of the hull, which of course I didn't notice until the boat was in the water. We launched the boat, I went to park the truck, came back and hopped in and headed out. I felt like it was running a bit sluggish, took a peek in the bilge and the bilge pump was working overtime trying to rid of what I considered a scary amount of water coming in through that tiny hole. I finally noticed the hole and now had a decision to make. Turn around or.... what? Ah ha, I have a patch kit on board with the tootsie roll tube of two part epoxy putty. I kneaded that stuff together and jammed it into the hole. Lo and behold, that sucker did the trip for the rest of the weekend. I patched it correctly when I got the boat back home but was pretty nervous the entire trip. I could not believe how thin the hull was on that boat.

And the last one that comes to mind... I was at a pump out dock in a marina waiting to meet a guy that was bringing down two new house batteries. He shows up and we are hucking those monsters to the walkway on the aft cabin and then into the boat for replacement. There is a guy directly behind us just getting ready to pump out. He pulls the cap off the deck fill, the thing is completely pressurized and it blows like freaking Mount Saint Helens! The dude who was pumping out and I took the worst of the hit being right in the blast zone. I had my back to him and I was covered in liquid poop from head to toe and there was an outline of my body on my starboard side, sort of like a dead guy chalk outline. Sort of wish I would have taken a picture. The entire side of my boat was covered in liquid poop. I abandoned the batteries for the meantime and asked my wife for the shower kit and a change of clothes. The poop clothes went into the garbage, shoes and all. I swear when I pass that marina I can still smell poop.
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Old 05-21-2019, 02:56 PM
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First boat - more years ago than I care to remember. Coming to dock, and I get reverse and forward confused, somehow. Nearly put her on the dock, bow first.

Two weeks later, got to board with a full 128 quart cooler and a buddy. We step on the gunwale, and in we go.
Old 05-21-2019, 03:01 PM
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Dumbest? I've whacked off several VHF antennas on bridges.
Old 05-21-2019, 03:07 PM
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And one more. I was changing the fuel filter on my I/O. Had just been out for a fishing excursion and still had some bait in the cockpit. I was on my knees with my head in the engine compartment wrestling off the old filter when I feel something heavy land on top of me. At first I thought it was one of my neighbors goofing with me, but as I turned around I came face to face with a freaking sea otter. I screamed and it literally screamed back at me, then it jumped out of the cockpit and back into the depths. It had the nastiest ass breath I've ever smelled. I assume the damned thing smelled the herring which was what attracted it to my boat but the thing didn't realize there was a human hunkered down in the cockpit. I'm not sure who was more surprised, the otter or me.
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