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Random Quote: Justice is often measured in calibers
There's little in the way of chronological order throughout the following story...true to the personal perception i have of the last month the re-enactment that follows is as loose and off the hip as our preceding actions...ummm...surely i don't want to offend anyone...but truly...did all of this madness in fact happen?!?!?!...well actually, yes...YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS IT DID...
Just when you thought it couldn't get any deeper...just when you thought the limit had been finally pushed far enough...hahahahahaha...RIGHT SONNY!!!...that's the problem with you young folks nowadays...YOU THINK TOO MUCH...because none of us have the slightest inclination as to just how far this deep space goes...
Oh we are off the charts now for certain...four straight weeks since our last contact and i only remember half of the madness...over 30 straight days of glorious mayhem where big fish fell to the feats of men, women, and even a few children...taxes were paid for greatness...but rewards were consistently true to the good of heart and the fervently dedicated...SO LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YE...never lose hope...never forget where you stand above these decks...these be hallowed waters...and more than one sailor has been granted sainthood here...
I suppose it all started with Chris Fischer and his wayward crew of Eastern Pacific Pirates...Brett, Jimmy, all the boys were in town with the new mothership operation which is beyond anything you could possibly imagine...i won't spoil the fun with the details because i want you to see what happened on TV for the first time but let me tell you one thing amigos...Offshore Adventures and Fischer Productions just took outdoor television to an entirely new level...so stay tuned...cause you're gonna chit a spicy enchilada...
Chris, Nick, Richie and Chirs' brothers all flew down as scheduled for the start of the shoot...but unfortunately the mothership was caught by tropical storm Kiko along the Baja coast and was forced to ride out the storm in Mag Bay...Chris informs me of the situation so we go into plan B...which means staying at the opulent Casa de Casas and saddling up the Conquistador as guests and friends of my boss and the local Pta de Mita crew...
The shenanigans over the course of the next 5 days before the mothership, Brett and the remainder of the crew and camera people showed up will forever live in infamy between those who were there to enjoy them...great friends, epic accommodations and fast and hard fishing makes for memories that last ten lifetimes and i think it's safe to say you are going to be seeing a lot more of this team paired up in years to come...because quite frankly...you don't get a better compilation of freaks than us...
When we finally did see the mothership round the corner ground zero moved from Casa de Casas to the Arctic Eagle Chris' new 160 plus foot ex-commercial king crabber which forklifts the new GO FISH, Chris' 45 Cabo Express directly onto the starboard deck...that is a procedure you have to see to believe i can assure you...hanging out with this crew for the next week and literally laying out the map of the globe before us and going..."OK...anyone ever heard of XXXXX????....nope?....FANTASTIC...let's go THERE!!!" and so on and so forth...with 60,000 gallons of fuel and more gadgets and gizmos than could be imagined this traveling circus is going to open doors that have remained locked for a long, long time amigos...and personally i cannot wait to fly half way around the world to meet them...stay tuned is all i can say....STAY VERY, VERY TUNED to this one...
The last night of the Fischer trip and we brought the house down at Margaritas in Pta de Mita in full hollywood fashion...Fisch decided to shoot the gourmet galley for this episode LIVE FROM MARGARITAS where spectacular pargo ribs were served over Hector's world famous Chernobyl margaritas...Hector pulled off his first on-camera appearance like a seasoned soap veteran...pure unadulterated chaos as only Pta de Mita and it's cast of characters can provide...by the end of the night Hector was signing autographs for his customers and likely finally realized just how much of a part of this sideshow he has become...ROCK ON HECTOR...cause above all else you've earned it...
Yes it was all fun and games until 7:30 the following morning when 3 very pissed off clients found me catatonic in bed...wha?...who?...charter....?WHAT??? Thinking i had the next 3 days off i let the horns grow longer than usual and purely my own fault i screwed up the dates for Larry Jackson's charter...can you imagine the scene??? JT awakened from a self induced coma, half naked, cross eyed trying desperately to explain why a lynching wasn't necessary...thank GOD Larry and his crew were sympathetic and opted to head offshore the following day instead...
I took 4 advils, 7 tylenols, 3 shots of vitamin B in the arse and an Ana-pen i've been carrying lately for scorpion stings directly to the jugular before i felt well enough to make it to the marina...where lo and behold i run into Larry and his crew again and we spend an hour or so talking boats and fishing and generally beginning to get along again...
The next day the Devil is nowhere to be seen and JT is firmly imbedded in the tower where i am happy to report he steered the Conquistador towards a glorious day of fishing for the Jackson crew...from zero to hero just like that and all deeds done wrong were forgotten...amazing how a few blue marlin, a giant tuna, and 14 hours of honest work will make you feel good about yourself again...thanks Larry for a great day on the water and i'll see you again next time...you know where to find me...
Next trip i believe was with my good friends aboard the Chiron...whom i have been fishing with since the old 72 Donzi days...well that was a long time ago and now the boys have over 100 feet of pleasure to enjoy...yes...life is rough when you leave the mothership at 5am to board another 100 plus footer and head offshore...
Since i'm the hired gun it's up to me to make the call and i decide it's wahoo trolling on the menu first, followed up by a little dorado action then finally a big tuna orgy on live skipjack in the afternoon...well it's better to be lucky than good and i'll be the chipmunk under the monkey if that's not exactly what happened...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ wahoo on the marauder...then multiple ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's as dorado fell to the cabbies and lures until....yup...you guessed it....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ in a large and messy way as 280#'s of fire breathing dragon inhales a skipjack on one of the boat's 50W's...spooled with mono...as i lock the fish up i start screaming at Trent to back the boat up...150 yards...100 yards...75...50...30...FUCK TRENT I SAID MAKE THIS BITCH MOVE!!!!...no kidding i had 5 yards left on the reel and was holding the rod fully extended as Trent tried as best he could to get 100 plus feet of fiberglass to go the other way...well sometimes you get lucky and the fish stopped just short of utter sadness...Gary straps in and it's over 2 hours of glory in the harness for a guy that's been looking for a fish like that for a long, long time...it'd been over 3 years since i fished with these boys and after that day they made me PROMISE i wouldn't make them wait that long again...well...let me think about that i said....just kidding...
I think shortly after that day my good friends Alex and Greg showed up from Canada for their annual pilgrimage with us in one country or another...the first day they fished with Lora on his new super panga FORTUNA and true to the name Greg laid the smackdown on a 298# giant yellowfin before Alex volleyed back with a 250 blue marlin...whereas Greg states NICE FREAKING TRY BRUDDAH and answers back with a 600 pound black marlin...
Well i was beginning to worry by the morning of the 3rd day thereafter on the Conquistador that my boys were going to divorce me for Lora when Alex...who had been patient on the rod for over 20 hours of fishing finally shot his wad...
We were trolling live skipies just north of the rock when the downrigger bait popps off and it's a classic marlin bite...ZZZZZ.....ZZZZZZ.....ZZZZZZZZZZZ.....ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ....OK LOCK UP!!! gun the boat and instead of ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and the ensuing madness the fish just sits there...the rod is bent so i know we've gottem but nada...fish ain't movin...wha?...then slowly...slowly the line begins to rise to the surface and 3/4 of the largest marlin i've seen all year rears it's gargantuan head...
I'm not sure the boys could hear me choking on my tongue over the engines, music, or barking drag at this point but that fact that i wasn't screaming should have clued them in...THANKFULLY i was able to administer the throw myself against the tower helm station hiemlich maneuver and dislodge my tongue and then and only then did the screaming come...
Hard advice to heed when the administrator is doing backflips in the tower but somehow we kept it all together and as Omar cautiously went to the wire i went to the shutter and we succeeded in releasing a true behemoth...sea monster...clear and present reminder that you must always...and i do mean ALWAYS have your game on out there...because there is no telling when that fish of the year will come...congrats Alex and Greg on another epic trip...hail the Queen!
Oh...and did i mention that day in question was the day BEFORE the tourney???? Well sometimes you just have to sit back and appreciate life's little ironies because this year was in fact the first year i broke my rule of never pre-fishing a tournament the day before and look what happens...HA!!! I TOLD YOU SO i said in my head 1,000 time before i finally realized that releasing that fish was worth so much more than the lousy $30K we would have pursed for that majestic creature...watching that behemoth swim away was truly priceless...and quite frankly i'm glad she's out there just getting bigger...see you next year girl cause i'll be looking...and ya'll better not be a grander...cause you won't be so lucky then!
Well in tournament circles we like to call that fish a confidence builder...wait...i forgot to mention the 353# tuna that we got with the Bobby Blake crew a few days before the Alex and Greg trip...what a beauty and that makes 4 giant tunas in the last 6 weeks of fishing that went over 300 pounds in case any of you are keeping track...and as far as i'm concerned...that's some fairly epic fishing in it's own right there...anyway...in tournament circles we like to call those fish CONFIDENCE BUILDERS so it's no surprise that we went into the 3 day 53rd annual event with a sac full of semen...figuratively of course...because we all know that in reality that was likely the farthest thing from the truth...
In case any of you don't know we won the marlin division plus placed in multiple other categories during this particular tournament in 04 and 05 and would have loved to fish it again in 06 but scheduling conflicts prevented it...needless to say we were eager to come out of semi-retirement and defend our title once again this year...saying we took to this year with religious fervor would be an understatement...
The first day was tough all around...particularly after the start we had to endure...after enjoying a spectacular shotgun start where the Conquistador literally smoked the entire fleet of 70 plus boats...we arrive at the spot...make bait on the first pass...put the 3 lucky numbers out and no kidding...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ massive cow tuna on in less than 5 seconds of fishing and there's still not another boat in sight...
Well thanks to improperly spooled line on Larry's reels the spectra bit into itself and snapped with a heart shattering CRACK!!!
I flew from the tower and had to physically restrain myself from throwing the reel overboard...LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU...NEVER TRUST ANYONE ELSE'S WORK WHEN MONEY IS ON THE LINE....
After losing that fish we were forced to re-spool Larry's remaining reels and let me tell you...they were all spooled up by monkey's the spectra was so loose in there...it's really my fault i should have checked the tackle they brought down...OK enough said about that...but it did cost us a very serious fish when they count the most...
Anyway...we managed to release a small marlin, whacked a dorado and brought a tuna to the scales that was just shy of the qualifying minimum despite our rough start...alright, i thought...good first day...but not exactly what we're looking for...
Next day it's back to the same plan and this time we manage to release a small sail, whack another dorado, and score a qualifying tuna this time...lucky for us it turned out to be the only qualifying tuna caught during the 3 day event or we would not have won...for PV an 88 pound tuna is nothing to brag about but when it's 88 pounds bigger than the next fish i guess you have to take what you can get...a win's a win...
So the final day i'm hedging my bets that no one else is going to catch a bigger tuna and decide to concentrate on marlin...the previous two years we won in the afternoon of the last day and who says history can't repeat itself for the third time right???? can't win if you don't play...
Well lo and behold we pull it off once again with a nice blue in the early afternoon...wait though...something's different this year...what could it be...wait...wait...oh i know! it's the 150' mexican navy boat that seems hell bent on driving over our fish as we're backing down at 8knots...why in the hell these people thought it was a good idea to do circles around us taking photos and cheering while we had a money fish on is beyond me...finally after a lot of colorful gesticulations and screaming and carrying on from our side of the fence the Mexican Navy retreated and we were left alone to battle our demons...GOD PEOPLE...as if we don't have enough to worry about in a tourney...Mexican Navy??? WHAT NEXT?!?!?!
We land Steve's fish and fish a bit more before heading to the scales where just like in years past they haul down the previously leading fish and up ours goes...it's actually a fairly heart stopping feeling to see your fish go up the winners line but our celebrations over taking both the tuna and the marlin first place divisions didn't last but more than an hour before my fellow Canadian and friend George Gaffney pulled in with his captain Juanito on the Esmeralda with the only black marlin of the event...and a nice one...nice enough to bump us into second place marlin...well...i guess you can't win them alll...
The celebrations lasted well into the evening and thankfully my boss was lenient and let me have the morning off...but when i did show up and he hopped on board and we blew the hydraulic line shortly thereafter i had to wonder whether or not the fish god's were looking after us...it's not easy coming off a month like this and jumping into a week straight with the boss and thankfully the fish gods agreed with us...blessing us with a slight mechanical problem that allowed for at least a few more hours to catch up on sleep...like i say...just one of life's little ironies...
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Tunas On The Move Again...11/28
Hi everyone...not much time for a full report but things are looking up on the tuna front once again...Manny and I were out yesterday and the tunas showed up in full force both at the Rock and on two different porpoise schools we were fishing nearly 20 miles apart from each other...
We had tons of action on Braid mauraders and various lures like Ahi Pussies and Melton Cherry jets with tunas up to 150#'s crashing the chit out of the spread...throw a black marlin, a bunch of big dorados and some sailfish into the mix and you have PV burning up the drags as per usual once again...
The bad news is long lines are showing up...we came across one yesterday with 3 injured turtles wrapped up in hooks and gear...after considerable effort we were able to haul in the lines and free the turtles...i just hope they make it...
We're off catching up on maintenance, sleep, dental work, and spine re-alignment for the next two days thankfully...with our schedule lately baby jesus knows we sure as hell need it...
With this surge of fresh fish showing up offshore i'm guessing tuna claus is going to be good to us through the coming year...
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Jack Frost Get Lost...12/13
Well boys Senor Frost has homed in on Puerto Vallarta...seemingly hell bent on bringing things as near to familiar frosty grounds as possible...yup, it's nasty out there...70 - 74 degree water, green, and very few fish...long pants, sweaters, two jackets and the good ol Canadian Toque to ward off chilly mornings and the 20 - 25 knots of wind that seems happy to continue blowing all day...all night...and apparently all winter long...
Facts are facts and the lab report from this one points to only one viable outcome...SOUTHERN MIGRATIONS SOON TO COME...because believe you me there's not much more of this shelacking we can take...
Just get me through the holidays...because after the reindeer scat has gone dusty it'll be time to throw off the lines once again...Huatulco? Costa Rica? Panama?
Only the fish gods know where we'll go from here...
So stay tuned amigos...cause i smell an adventure of epic proportions brewing beneath the permafrost...
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Counting Crows Anyone?!?!...12/14
"It's a looooooong December...and there's reason to believe....
Maybe this year will be better than the last..."
Am i the only one who hears that playing over...and over...and OVER in their head? I don't even like the Counting Crows...what are you doing in my head...HOW IN GOD'S NAME DID YOU GET IN THERE?!?!!?!
Well kids i think it's safe to say it's been an uphill climb out there...for the most part i've surrendered myself to self diagnosis and all but convinced those around me i've become bi-polar on a permanent level...who can blame me? Hero's one day and then zero's the next...and the next...and the next-after...god forsaken brief moments of mayhem followed and preceeded by seemingly endless bouts of bordem....ooops, i mean trolling...
And by trolling i do in fact mean TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGG GG and TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN GGGGGG and then just when you think you've seen the last of it....more edge-of-your-seat-actionless-paint-drying-selfmutilation-inducing TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN NNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG....BAM! 410 widowmaker slug right to the head out there some days but...butbutbutbutbutbutbut....BUT...as we are all well aware of by this point...PERSERVERANCE PAYS OFF...and just when the hammer is about to drop...saving the brains from flying from the tower in the nick of time...SPLASH...SPLASHSPLASHSPLASH...could it...no...just a minute...JUST A GODDAMN MINUTE...SPLASHSPLASHSPLASH...YES SWEET BABY JESUS CON SONAR PORPOISE SCHOOL BEARING ZERO NINER ZERO...
The sheer hours alone and day after day of twisted mental jockery will get to the bitter root of any man...let alone anyone as hopped up and emotionally dependant on the fishing as me...and while i do appreciate days like today as much as anyone i am all too realistic in reining in the celebrations because above all else...as terrible as it sounds...it's hard to pop the cork off when i'm fully expecting another penetrating kick to the groin come manana...
What does this rambling mean?...that i am tired of these night and day fluctuations in the fishing...i am a big fish action avalanche junkie and when i get a super hit like today i SURE AS HELL DO NOT LIKE GOING FOR TWO OR THREE OR FOUR DAYS WITHOUT THE NEXT FIX...as i have said over and over again lateley...
I PICKED A BAD MONTH TO QUIT SMOKING!!!
"Go give her hell anyway..." that's the motto for these past few weeks...following the usual speal of "Well boys the water has turned, it's cold...looks a lot like BABY VOMIT and chances are we'll be lucky to hook anything...including a turtle...cause those hard shell little bastards have thinned out lately too...but...butbutbutbut...BUT...we'll...(go give her hell anyway...)"
UNDER SELL AND OVER DELIVER! hard advice to heed but thanks to Steve it's saved my ass more than once since the new moon...choosing to adopt the new philosophy and lo and behold basking in the glory as more often than not when we lay bare the stark and gut-wrenching prognosis upon the group our efforts prove worthy and what?!?!?!?! GODDAMN BONAFIDE YELLOWFIN TUNAS HAVE BEEN FLOPPING ON THE DECK...
We're no Intrepid...bouncing 300 pounders on the deck like candy corn but hey...when the shit does come down the pipe it's nice to know we still have the balls to hit the wall and keep going...and going and going and GOING...because believe you me we don't call it the OZONE for nothing...Boss...sell another company or something...cause the fuel bill's gonna make you chit this week!!!
While i do like to complain from time to time that we aren't catching 300 pound tunas and hordes of black and blue marlin i do realize that i should STFU because we indeed bask in our glory for more than our share of trips around the sun...and if a few months of eating ass is all it takes to offset the expenses SO BE IT...suck it up Skywalker...THEY CAN MAKE YOU ANOTHER HAND...
Tunas...tunas...tunas and more tunas...that's the reward if you sit in the tower for hours upon hours chasing porpoise...sometimes you get lucky and hit them in the first few hours of looking...other times...other times it's days...and i do mean DAYS of nada enchilada...maybe a few dorado or half frozen cryogenic sailfish to ward off the cape of complete skunking but it's a bitter and narrow victory out there most days amigos...
To be honest i'm ready to head south...but until that happens i shall thank the crafty elves at Melton's, Braid and Canyon Runner tackle for filling our stockings with pure tuna killers like Melton Cherry jets and psychadelic Canyon Runner spreader bars...Braid Mauraders and a few hush hush yum yum's that have all added up to epic catches and collective sighs of relief when they were needed most...
Where are we finding these moments of glory?!?!...in a galaxy far, far away amigos...where the price for playing adds up to mental stability...better hope you've brought enough to cover the tab...
Yeah...i'm going crazy...so be it...BUT WE'RE STILL CATCHING THEM...HAHAHAHAHA...STILL STACKING MEMORIES...AND MADNESS...DEEP ON THE DECK...i just hope you boys appreciate the price that is ultimately paid and remember to send flowers to the padded room...cause make no mistake about it...that's where most of us are headed soon...
See you on the flip side compadres...pray the prescriptions hold till then...
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Puerto Vallarta Poinsettia...12/16
Well kids not much of a haymaker out there again today...largely lots of dorado, a handful of sailfish, and absolutely no sign of tunas despite searching far and wide from the area Manny and i left them yesterday...they were last seen tearing ass NW as fast as their air breathing cousins could chaperone them out of the danger zone...and according to Manny...should have been in La Paz around supper time...so keep an eye out for them up yonder there amigos...
i guess it was too good to last forever...our own private porpoise and tuna school doing donuts in a small 5 square mile area that nobody else even knew about...gloriously enjoyed exclusively by those of us in the PV CODE GROUP...hahahahaha...considering we were able to hammer out that melody for over a week with what the rest of the place was serving is in hindsight cause for celebration and at least SOME heavy drinking...PENDULOS!!!
A few important observations i made on the two and a half hour trip home tonight...one, christmas is definitely coming...and two, between the swirling green, baby vomit water and the red tide which has just today galloped into town carrying it's plague...i am all but convinced a satellite shot would show something like a giant poinsettia growing outwards from Cow Town...
Pretty reds and greens from a safe distance of 60,000 feet up...but we all know what lurks behind those all too familiar christmas colors closer in...
Well...anyway...it's a good thing i've got the next few weeks off to recover...
Here's to a safe and happy holiday season to everyone....CHEERS TO YOU AND YOU AND YOU!!!
Capt Dalton while we don't do much bottom fishing down here there certainly are lots of boats that do...and they in fact do very well on all sorts of species...personally after the years i've spent commercial and sport fishing for halibut and lingcod etc up north in BC and Alaska i would do very well to never see another piece of lead again for a long, long time...
More business?!?! My god i am looking forward to doing something OTHER than charters for the next little while...it's been a loooooong run and while i do love chartering clients, don't get me wrong, i need to focus on private trips and other fishing related projects for a while and keep a fresh perspective...a few more weeks of charters left after the holidays and then i am outta here....
Mostly when you get right down to it it's about when the big fish leave, i must too...i can't but help being addicted to those critters...
Those are barefoot gaffs amigo... but i just checked their website www.fishingbarefoot.com and see that it no longer exists...not sure what's up with that...
Anyway...we love those gaffs...and they can handle a chitkicking let me tell you...
The Iliad & The Odyssey!!!...11/20 - 12/16 
