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Random Quote: I do what the voices in my tackle box tell me to do........
Does anyone here have any experience with Outward Bound? Here's the scenario. 19 year old that has one year of college under her belt, sort of, but is really confused as to what she wants to do. She said she doesn't want to go back to school this fall but does want to finish sometime. Not a troubled kid but 19 and living with mom and dad can have it's conflicts. Not a bad kid, just frustrated. I was wondering about a 2-3 weeks with Outward Bound just to extend her horizons. Any other suggestions other than Outward Bound?
__________________ The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
I think Outward Bound would be a hell'va idea. What I've always loved about it is the extension of one's self it installs, the self esteem it builds and the confidence one walks away with. Shag, by the sounds of it, this will be your dime, IMHO this will be some of the BEST money you could ever spend on her. period! Just she needs to be in agreement of such a venture.
As far as the school thing goes, as I suggested to my niece which was wrestling with the school/ college thing as well. I suggested to her to keep the momentum going with school, you can never go wrong with taking a first year business course until you figure out what it is that you want to do. The first year business course will carry you well in life regardless of what direct you go after that. She took it and now is pursing becoming a restaurant/ bar owner.....actually she wants to own a Hooters franchise.....smart kid!
How about the "Reality Check" program, a bus schedule and a job at Mcdonalds. That ought to wake her up.
Cute. Take ya long to think that up? So you are suggesting she quit the job she has now and sell her car? I guess it would save her some money on insurance and maintenance.
__________________ The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
Also check into N.O.L.S. it might be more suited for her since she is not as you say a "troubled kid".
I just took a look at their web site. Looks neat. Are you saying Outward Bound is for troubled kids? I really don't know much about it.
Garrett, she has 24 credit hours under her belt and as much as I want to see her keep the momentum going I also can't make her go back this fall if she truly doesn't want to. Both kids know that there were three choices when they graduated high school: 1. College. 2. Military. 3. Get a job and move out. She is home for summer break but I am trying to help her get some direction for this fall.
__________________ The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
About 20 years my father did a few things with Outward Bound and loved it. They were all wilderness expeditions. He was 52 at the time. One of the winter things they did was 7 days of cross country skiing in Yellowstone
__________________ God doesn't bother me. His fan clubs do.
A mind is like a parachute, it only works when its open
Oh I definitely wouldn't say the Outward Bound program is for trouble kids/ people, to the contrary, I think it is for bringing out the best in most any person. I like to think of it as, an individual that is struggling in life is someone that wants to do something which they don't feel they can do for whatever reason. That reason could be because it goes against the family values or family expectations, the cost of such a venture, a lack of confidence to go forward or peer pressure from friends or constituents (talk to her about the program she is taking verse the costs verses starting over with a different major and the costs - has her dreams changed any?). An Outward Bound program teaches the child/ person that they can do anything even though something inside them says they can't.
The military basically teaches the child to do the same thing as an Outward Bound program does but with one major difference IMO. In the military you have to do it regardless of how much you hate to do it. With the Outward Bound program you are taught how to do it on your own without being forced into anything. To me that makes a world of difference.....confidence is something that is learnt, not forced upon one self.
15 years ago my son and I did a parent child Outward Bound, each of my older children did a two week Outward Course on their own. Both would say it was one of the most significant experiences of their life. It's a great organization, definately not for 'troubled' kids, although they do have those programs. It won't change her life but it will certainly test her and put her in a lot of situations where she has to rely on herself. It's a great growth experience. Part of the two week course is a 48 hour solo, where you are out in the woods on your own. I asked my son what he did and he said "Mostly threw rocks at rattlesnakes". OB has changed in the past few years, but I still believe it's a first class organization
Shag, I don't have any wisdom to offer in this matter, but you know if there is any way that I can be of help, you know how to reach me......... Please do so if needed/wanted.........
When I was 18 I couldn't wait to get away from my parents and 6 brothers and sisters. I went away to college, but in my home state (SUNY system at the time). I messed up my first semester, and straightened out real good after. Maybe your daugter needs to stretch her wings a little? Can she/you guys swing her going away to school? Made a man out of me, after I took my lumps. While I think a two week experience at Outward might be great, perhaps she needs more: like time away.
By the way I am closer than ever with my parents and my siblings.
When I was 18 I couldn't wait to get away from my parents and 6 brothers and sisters. I went away to college, but in my home state (SUNY system at the time). I messed up my first semester, and straightened out real good after. Maybe your daugter needs to stretch her wings a little? Can she/you guys swing her going away to school? Made a man out of me, after I took my lumps. While I think a two week experience at Outward might be great, perhaps she needs more: like time away.
By the way I am closer than ever with my parents and my siblings.
Yep, we can swing tuition. Matter of fact, she turned down 5 offers for volleyball scholarships. Actually practiced with one team who wanted her bad, and she was just burnt out on V-ball. I pushed as far as I could. I have always told them that I would pay state tuition and related exenses as long as they were in school and making the grades. Older brother is in his third year at ECU (after taking a semester off to go the the University of Dad due to grades ) but he is back on track now.
We're looking for something that would break the frames for her. I would even like to see her join the USCG like I did but Mom is against it, even though we were both in the USCG when we met.
Sorry for the ramble, just was asking if anybody had any experience with Outward Bound or anything similiar.
__________________ The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
I am a bit confused - what exactly is it you are trying to accomplish with outward bound? Was this her idea or yours? Because I remember when I was 19, every idea my parents had was just plain stupid, in my mind (because I did not come up with the idea).
She does not want to return to school, but what ideas has she come up with in the mean time?
__________________ Move along, nothing to see here.
From what I have seen on TV about Outward Bound, I had always thought it was for "troubled kids"? All the stories I had seen related to it concerned kids that had disciplinary problems or serious trouble at home or with the law?
Given the info you have stated, I think I'd encourage her to look into the military (Navy or Air Force to help keep her out of harm's way and make her Mom happy!).
I have had the opportunity from time to time to talk with high school students (via my wife's job) that didn't know what they wanted to do (and really didn't want to waste their parents money by going to college with NO IDEA what they wanted to even TAKE, much less DO after graduation). I encouraged some to at least look at the military as a viable option.
Decent pay, decent housing, decent food, EXCELLENT discipline (read: boot camp! ), good educational opportunities (tech schools), and pretty much "layoff-proof" - heck, a LOT of folks might "plan" on getting out after that first "tour" but end up making a GREAT career of it!
If the "military career" doesn't take hold, most folks have a VERY GOOD idea of what they want to do when they get out, and Uncle Sam will help with the college afterwards!
See what the shortest "tour" is currently (2yrs., 3yrs., etc.). At 19, she'll have a LOT of time to "start over" when she gets out!
Also, does she have any interest in the nursing profession? Seems to be a REAL shortage?
Shag,
I don't have any personal direct experience with Outward Bound, but I did date a wild Cajun girl at Western who was an instructor for OB during the summer at Western, back in the 70's. She specialized in rock climbing. Everything I've heard is that it is a great experience, with dedicated leadership. Best I can remember, she said it was fairly strenuous and they really pushed them to their limit, and then some. They don't coddle them. She said it was really great to see the personal growth of the students. Don't know if it would help with the "where do I go with my life" situation, but it might be the life experience that could help. Good luck and best wishes to her.
Doug
OK I have worked with kids that age in my own family, in sports, in local clubs and most recently as a part-time substitute high school teacher.
Given what I know about the family situation - nothing - here is a different thought. Most probably, the situation you describe is TOTALLY NORMAL. Very few kids that age know what they want to do - they are exposed to so much (good AND bad) at this age and they don't have the experience and internal compass to sort things out. I personally would advise not taking a year off its sometimes hard to restart. There are other ways to expose her to other people, places, careers and interests and most importantly to let her mature on her own. One of these would be to allow her to live at the school if at all possible (doesn't have to be the same school - there are lots of public schools that offer on campus or nearby semi supervised housing at a reasonable cost).
Often the living with Mom and Dad is their "problem" and the "I don't know what I want to do" is a very nice kind way for them to approach you. My child that went to a boarding school for her last year of H.S. and then went a few hundred miles away to college, was and I think still is years ahead of her siblings (who lived at home for some years of college).
Not much, but a thought that maybe can spark some alternatives in your mind... I have heard great things about outward bound also...
__________________ 1st Cav Div Air Assault Infantry RVN
-Can Do........ and .......Carry On -
Why not send her overseas to a language school. It would definitely broaden her horizans and she would be very marketable when she graduates from college with a second language. There are plenty of places that are affordable and not very expensive depending on what she wants to learn.
Sounds like she is just confused about where she wants to go and what she wants to do. This is not abnormal for that age, just ask TrollnHeel. Sometimes it takes a little longer for young people to find their path.
She is probably scared as well. Lying in bed at night at age 19, living with mom and dad, don't know what she wants to do......yup, very frustrating.
She may just need to chill with guys for a few months. Spend some quality time together if she's up for it, but don't force it. A family outing to her favorite place may be in order.
Sometimes your own kids are more open to one of their friends parents. Is there someone like this in her life?
It has been my experience that the more time kids spend with the "right" kids, the quicker they can get focused on what lies ahead. Some type of summer camp?
Outward Bound 
Just she needs to be in agreement of such a venture. 
She took it and now is pursing becoming a restaurant/ bar owner.....actually she wants to own a Hooters franchise.....smart kid! 
1st Cav Div Air Assault Infantry RVN
