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Old 10-30-2013, 07:17 AM
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Default New Law- "The Affordable Boat Act" 2014

Stolen from another website:

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yeah...it's that stupid...
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Old 10-30-2013, 07:22 AM
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There goes the sandbar.
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Old 10-30-2013, 07:26 AM
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Perspective.........you're doing it right
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Old 10-30-2013, 08:21 AM
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...and in response to this new legislation boat manufacturers announced they will have to increase the cost of the boats by 50% to cover the costs associated with adhering to this new law. Marinas are also increasing their rates by 50-100% depending on how much you use your boat. Marine insurers are increasing their rates just because they can. Marine industry suppliers and retailers however will not be changing their prices as they are already screwing consumers enough.
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Old 10-30-2013, 10:24 AM
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Don't forget they will mandate non-ethanol fuel only because it is much better for the boat.
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Old 10-30-2013, 10:30 AM
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And with a high enough deductible you can open a BSA (Boat Savings Account) to help pay your boating related expenses and it will be tax deductible.
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Old 10-30-2013, 10:39 AM
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Of course for that analogy to hold, it would have to be true that under the current system, anytime you needed a boat but couldn't afford one, you could go the Emergency Room Marina and they would give you one, and charge all the boat owners in the Marina extra to cover the costs.
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Old 10-30-2013, 10:45 AM
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I guess I can't keep my kayak 'cause it doesn't qualify, even though you promised I could. I was perfectly happy until now.
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Old 10-30-2013, 10:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TopCat View Post
Of course for that analogy to hold, it would have to be true that under the current system, anytime you needed a boat but couldn't afford one, you could go the Emergency Room Marina and they would give you one, and charge all the boat owners in the Marina extra to cover the costs.
Groups only.....the Medicaid of boating


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Old 10-30-2013, 12:02 PM
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Fuel prices will be more than doubled to $9 a gallon because of rising costs to get the fuel to marinas. and build new storage fuel facilities on the water. The contracts to build the new tanks and transport all of this fuel will be given out to large campaign donors for the Democratic party, and relatives of congress.
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Old 10-30-2013, 12:19 PM
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I just tried to sign-up for a new boat but the website crashed!
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Old 10-30-2013, 01:01 PM
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Too Funny, Oh wait, it's not a joke, It's the law, or not a law, just a tax justifiable by the supreme court. Come on, let's pass it first to see what's in it. I love my country, not so much on the Gooberment.
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Old 10-30-2013, 01:08 PM
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Worth "stealing " thanks for the laugh.
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Old 10-30-2013, 01:18 PM
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Good one !!
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Old 10-30-2013, 01:37 PM
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This would be hilarious if not based on the truth. However, this new "Affordable Boat Act" leaves me with a question. Until now, only the wealthy & priviledged were able to own/purchase boats but now everyone is entitled. So I think the wealthy/privledged should pay the entire cost of this program. That way, myself & my welfare dog can enjoy all boating aspects without any expense. LOL


PS Send my new free government cell phone to my new address at Harbor Bay Marina
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Old 10-30-2013, 01:40 PM
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Question for the government boat czar:

If I can't afford the mandated boat is there a subsidy that will assist me in purchasing the boat?? I'm currently (never been) employed and I'm not sure I can buy the boat with the EBT card....so a subsidy would provide me the opportunity to be a boat owner too...subsidies would make this fair
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Old 10-30-2013, 01:46 PM
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Will the agency responsible for boat disbursements have bilingual support staff and will they be able to register new non-english speaking boat recipients to vote?
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Old 10-30-2013, 02:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueRudy View Post
Will the agency responsible for boat disbursements have bilingual support staff and will they be able to register new non-english speaking boat recipients to vote?
They will provide translators for 150 different languages.... you never know when some Mandarin Chinese dude might show up for a day on the water.
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Old 10-30-2013, 02:14 PM
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I spent 6 hours on the phone on hold to find out that the best model you can buy under this new law is the premium boat which is a 17ft Bayliner Capri with 85hp Force.

If you had a boat before the law you will not be able to keep it and will be switched over to Bayliner or Carolina Skiff depending on which state you live in.

The new law is being called Obamahull.
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Old 10-30-2013, 02:16 PM
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Immediate Press Release:

Name:  image.jpg
Views: 10301
Size:  29.2 KB

Isaac has been named Boating Czar.
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