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Old 01-08-2012, 06:06 PM
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Default Wedding costs and brides parents responsibility

I have a friend who's daughter is going to get married soon and this discussion came up and I will probably be in the same position in a few years. I know not to long ago most of the wedding costs fell on the brides parents. I have talked to friends and they tell me that has changed. What is the norm and what should brides and grooms parents plan for? I am sure lots of you have been there done that. LOL I know I could probably go to Ann Landers website, but I value my fellow boaters advice more.
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Old 01-08-2012, 06:12 PM
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My friend just put down the deposit for his daughters wedding.... He paid for it all...

I am in the split it camp.... And I told my 3 daughters not to come to me to pay for your 50k wedding unless the groom is paying 25k of that....

Period - no negotiation....
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Old 01-08-2012, 06:16 PM
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I'm getting married in July. Her parents are picking up the tab. I would help out with costs if
I needed to but I'm trying to buy a boat!
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Old 01-08-2012, 06:24 PM
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Ask the bride how much a wedding "should cost" then when she gives a number you like, cut her a check..........anything she saves she keeps, any overages are on her and the groom, any one but the dad.
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Old 01-08-2012, 06:28 PM
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I'm getting married in June. Her parents are picking up the 30k tab. If I had it my way, we would spend 3k on food, have it at my home church for free, and spend the rest on the honeymoon or better yet the down-payment on a house. BUT...some folks have to impress others
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Old 01-08-2012, 06:30 PM
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I'm getting married in June. Her parents are picking up the 30k tab. If I had it my way, we would spend 3k on food, have it at my home church for free, and spend the rest on the honeymoon or better yet the down-payment on a house. BUT...some folks have to impress others
x2
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Old 01-08-2012, 06:33 PM
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My rommate in college got married when he graduated. His F-I-L spent $45K on his wedding--in 1993. 18 months later they were divorced.
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Old 01-08-2012, 06:56 PM
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First wife, I paid for everything. Was 27 years old, couldn't see how anyone should pay anything! My marriage, your my guest, I pay...

Maggie, my 2nd wife? JOP...
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:02 PM
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I'm getting married in July. Her parents are picking up the tab. I would help out with costs if
I needed to but I'm trying to buy a boat!
ROFLMAO I like your priorities
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:09 PM
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i got married 2 years ago my wife parents cut her a check for 15g. it was a complete surprise to me as i wasn't expecting anything. i also have a wife that is money smart and kept cost way down. somehow had a wedding on long island with all the bells and whistles for 230 people kept it under 22 thousand total dress and all. none of my friend can figure out how she did it and all spent well over 40,000 for less people. then they look at me like im crazy when i buy a boat for 5 grand.
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:11 PM
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ROFLMAO I like your priorities
Hey, Mike, wanna bet on how long that one's going to last? What girl in her right mind would let Dad pay for flowers and foi gras when there's outriggers and radar to buy?
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:13 PM
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The groom's family is responsible for the rehearsal party, the bride's family the wedding, and the groom the ring and honeymoon
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:19 PM
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The groom's family is responsible for the rehearsal party, the bride's family the wedding, and the groom the ring and honeymoon
funny all i was told is it was her day. Make the bride pay for everything and the cost of weddings will be dirt cheap.
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Old 01-08-2012, 07:28 PM
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Have to boys wound up paying at least 1/2 on both. Then I paid for the rehearsal dinner. The wife thinks it is the fair way to do it. So we do it. First wedding we did not meat with the parents of the bride real long story. Anyway found out my son was going to go into debt for the thing. Funny thing her parents put in a $50,000 pool the same summer they were married.

Met with the second set and agreed to a dollar amount per couple. I hope this works better.
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Old 01-08-2012, 08:21 PM
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The costs of weddings have gotten WAY out of hand....30K$$ (or more) for a 1-3hr event?...really?...it's all about the brides' parents impressing all their friends...IMO...generally the bride's side picks up the days costs with the grooms paying for the rehearsal dinner....30K...spend 5K and put the other 25K down on a house....
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Old 01-08-2012, 08:27 PM
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While it is traditional for the brides parents to pick up the tab, it is certainly not expected with a $50k wedding. It is all within reason and children must realize this. If they want a fairy tale wedding with horses and Buckingham Palace then they can not expect you to go into debt.

Talk with them to find out expectations. If the cost of the wedding is too over the top then give what you can and say good luck. I have seen family friends dip into retirements and take second mortgages to satisfy their little princess.
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Old 01-08-2012, 08:49 PM
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The costs of weddings have gotten WAY out of hand....
You got that right! I love it! I play in a wedding band. We get $500 to play at a bar for the night.

We get $3500+ to play a wedding.
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Old 01-08-2012, 11:12 PM
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I've been married twice. First one was the $35K wedding for 50 people. Don't even remember much of it considering we missed the cocktail hour because the photographer needed to get his pictures. Once we got there we had to meet and greet. Then there was dancing. It was a blur to me. Waste of money to entertain people I almost never see.

Second wedding was planned on a Fri for the next Saturday. We invited 15 people and it was awesome. It was outside at a resort in Orlando on the lawn at the wedding pavilion. We had a violinist and a justice of the peace. and a full service champagne toast afterwards followed that evening by a big dinner at Don Shula's Steak House @ Disney. Much much better than the first wedding. Cost..... maybe $3,500. Comming up on our 7th anniversary.

Tell them that they can have a choice betwee a big wedding or small wedding and whatever they save they can use as a down payment on a house.
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Old 01-09-2012, 12:24 AM
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JOP, on the beach, at sunset... $200...

Redneck cookout for 200(pigs, beers, chickens, lots of drunk folks having a good time) I had 2k in it..


30 to 50 thousand dollars... NEXT!!!!!! no piece of tail is worth that kind of scratch for 1 day.
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Old 01-09-2012, 03:27 AM
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Quote:
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The costs of weddings have gotten WAY out of hand....30K$$ (or more) for a 1-3hr event?...really?......
I AGREE,

Son is getting married in spring and I think his bride to be and her family are spending about 8-10K and I think future DIL is paying for a lot of it. She is very resourceful and thrifty as is he Mom. They have a venue where the number of guests is very limited, has caused some issues with my side because we have so many we need to invite but on the other hand I think it is great to limit

I think even my future DIL admitted that she wished they would have just used our church and the social hall and not limited how many came but live and learn

As for us we have booked them a NICE all expenses paid non stop trip to Punta Canta, Dominican Republic and are paying for rehearsal dinner . Going to end up costing us about $4-5K but I think. I scolded the Admiral a little bit and thought we should have spent little less on Honeymoom but what is done is done

I could not ask for a better future DIL, love her to death and she is great compliment for my son and his future
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