Mom's Heart Attack
A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then
she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the
bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she
opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed
and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his
motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant
and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer
in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He
wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of
my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray
that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure
deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how
to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you
can get to know your grand children.
Your daughter, Judith
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is
safe for me to come home.
&nbs
__________________
I used to think that as I was getting older I was developing patience and tolerance. Now I realize
that I just don't give a crap.
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