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Random Quote: When I pray I don't pray for myself, I pray for my wife. God please give her more estrogen.
If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the south, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:
The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
The North has double last names, the South has double first names.
The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.
The North has green salads, the Southhas collard greens.
The North has lobsters, the South has crawdads.
In the South: If you run your car in a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a 4x4 pickup w/a tow chain willl be along shortly. Don't try to help us, jus stay out of the way. This is what we live for!
Don't be suprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store...do not buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing"You ain't from round here, are ya?".
Be advised "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
Don't be suprised to find that 10 year olds own their own shotguns, are proficient marksmen, and their mamas tought 'em how to aim.
In the Southe, we have found that the best way to grow a lush gerrn lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits!
Alright cgrand I have agreed with everything I have read from you 'till now.....them's fighten words! We are still below the M-D line and me included...full of Southern red necks.
The snow's a trick...no snow in Miami, and look what happened there!
General Sherman is leaving Atlanta after burning it to ground, marching up I-85,
one Confederate on distant hill shoutin' obscenties, kinda' embarrasing to the General.
Sends 2 men up to silence Rebel, they don't come back.
Sends platoon uup, don't come back.
Finally sends his biggest man, a mountain of a man, Swartz. Swartz stumbles back down mountain, bleeding from every hole in his body, falls to the ground.
Swartz exclaims "It's a trick, General, THERE'S TWO OF 'EM"!
If you move to the South...
