My BFF/Best Fishing Friend will be leaving this world tomorrow, and this is NOT about a dog - The Hull Truth

thundra · 10-04-2008, 08:17 PM

At noon tommorow, my Best Fishing Friend Michael McGilvery will be taken off the ventilator he is on and which is the only thing keeping him alive right now as his brain has lost all function due to a stroke he had last Wednesday night and the subsequent swelling that occured afterward from Wednesday-Thursday.

He loved to read all the stuff here on THT including all my blather. He really liked reading how heated people got in certain threads, who doesn't? He learned a lot about fishing on all the other threads as well, it helped him to pass the time while he was working. Like us, he loved going out on boats and going out fishing and he had a good number of friends who he could go out with. Thankfully, I let him know something that really helps me now. As we exchanged emails this past summer, we were talking about how it was hard for me to tell whether or not I could get him out fishing on certain weekends as there were so many weekends where family was around, but I let him know that he was my go-to guy for fishing and I let him know how good of a friend he had/has been to me over the 17 years we had/have known each other. I look back now and am so happy that I had that exchange with him as since last Wednesday, other than getting him to lift a finger for him to acknowledge that he could hear us, it had been the only communication anyone had had with him. It was strange to me now that we had that kind of talk, but no matter how it might seem, I thank my lucky stars that I did as it is what helps me as I know I left no loose-ends/anything left unsaid, so to speak. Like many of you might know, it is not easy just finding good people you can stand to be with on your or any other boat for long periods of time and just fish and do whatever on the boat. Friends may come easy, but fishing buddies are a different breed I think many of you can agree. I had my friend and now he is gone and I'll miss him like Red missed Andy on the Shawshank Redemption. All the college times we had and all the memories of things that happened that he could recall that I could/can not, are now all gone, he took them with him and I'll miss them forever. Those years we were roommates and had nothing to eat, no money, a filthy apartment, will, hopefully, never come back, but I still would have liked to reminisce about them a bit more and laugh like heck about it all, oh well. It was not long ago that he let me know that I had " . . . come a long way . . . " from our college days and it meant a lot to me as he knew what I had to go through back then, and as things are so good now, it was really good to hear.

It has been a sort of wake-up call for many of us as Mike is/was 36 years old/young, as many have remarked to me since last Thursday that their doctors have warned them about diet/excercise and high blood pressure meds, and most have been largely ignoring their doctors advice but after seeing firsthand what the possible consequences can be, definite action is being taken as a result of a friends tragedy. Some good things do come out of bad things for sure. For all we know, he might be helping or saving others as he is an organ donor as well.

It was all too easy for my buddy, who grew up with no father and was an only child, lived alone and had no wife/kids/girlfriend, to eat whatever he wanted and what with TIVO/Satellite TV/Wireless Internet, to go home, eat out/eat crap, and sit on the couch for the rest of the night, every night. It all caught up to him.

Now, I'll have to plan on attending his wake/funeral sometime this week. I should be planning some of the last Cod/Haddock/Pollock trips of the season but life just gets in the way. I might have mentioned in another post the 2 things I held onto/borrowed as we moved him out but even if I did, it'll make me feel good if I mention them again. One thing I borrowed from my friend was a broken fishing pole he had. A 7' ML spinning rod that has broken about 2 tips down and as I already put a new tip on it, it makes a perfect bottom fishing rod as the rod is light and now very stiff, perfect for bottom fishing. I now wish I knew the story behind the rod and whether or not he used it but no matter, I'll use it in his honor and catch some fish for him. It is not an expensive rod by any means, it is one of those rods that comes as part of a Wal Mart combo, but for bottom fishing, it will work brilliantly and I'll now cherish it for the rest of my days. I'll have to admit, though, why it was so much fun fishing with him. The main reason was I would always catch so many more fish, mostly because I have spent a ratio of fishing as compared to him at what must be a 100:1 ratio. I did not try to catch more, I would actually just catch the first fish to show him there were fish to catch and let him try and get them. Only thing is the fish would sense my nonchalance and just fight each other to bite my hooks, ha! He would sure as heck try and fish and I would teach him all I knew and what to do, and he would catch some but I know that at the very least he was having a good time trying and this comforts me greatly right now.

I'll always remember our last time out fishing this past summer as it is now one of the days I'll hold onto the most, it is incredible how when all is said and done, like a vacation, all we are left with are memories, but; We got up around 4:30am, arrived at trolling area after a 25 mile run and we trolled up about 8 bluefish, and despite the fact that we were after Bonito this morning, both Mike and Tom were having a blast fighting all the bluefish on light tackle. We made a short move to see if things would get better and on the next pass, both rods went down again, and after the fight, Mike got the only bonito of the day after we hooked a total of about 30 blues. He was still thrilled as he had caught more fish that day than he had all summer long so far. I just got off the phone and thanked Tom for having the presence of mind at that moment, to tell us to get together for a picture of us with Mike holding his fish and now it is my most precious picture of us together as it is also the last. It might be strange to type this on a public forum but it sure feels good, and who knows, maybe he can pick up THT in heaven because I know he'll look for my posts if he can, ha!

My Best Fishing Friend will be taking his last breath tommorow at about 12pm EST.

I'll miss you forever Mike McGilvery. See you on the other side. Your friend. Ben

Menzies · 10-04-2008, 08:42 PM

Sorry to hear that. Be strong for his family!

We only walk this earth a short while, and the value we gain is slight,
But the friends we make and the friends we keep, we take into that short night,
For when we awake, that friendship stays, deep within our soul,
And we will met, sure as death will come, and love will bring its might.

ScarabChris · 10-04-2008, 09:05 PM

Our prayers go out to your buddy and his family. Nothing worse than to leave before your time.

SSheila · 10-04-2008, 09:07 PM

Ben, I'm glad it helped you to write your post.

God bless you and your buddy Mike.

dssmith · 10-04-2008, 09:17 PM

Sorry to hear about your friend.

Fishing buddies are like a pair of old boots. They usually look like crap. Smell bad. Always in the way or a bother until you use them.

When you put them on, and there's nothing else like them. You can't hurt them. They make you feel good and secure. The give you solace and company. They provide the foundation you stand on. The are reliable. You aren't even aware they are around or on after you lace them up.

And you never want to break in a new pair. Just hope to keep them forever.

You've had a great experience with your buddy. The sadness will be replaced with positive memories. You are a lucky man!

shoemaker · 10-04-2008, 09:18 PM

a good friend is hard to find. Sounds like he was a nice man. Sorry for your loss and for him and his family.

eXcedrin · 10-04-2008, 09:20 PM

Nice, really nice tribute... from the heart...

eXcedrin

welder · 10-04-2008, 10:09 PM

RIP Mike

The kingdom of Heaven is waiting for you.

grouperkng · 10-05-2008, 12:33 AM

wow that is very young I am very sorry to hear about your friend

Rip

Jon

Nicmegmatt · 10-05-2008, 05:51 AM

Soryy to hear about your friend. You were blessed to have such a good friend.

tprice · 10-05-2008, 06:06 AM

We will keep everyone in our prayers

XV2PS · 10-05-2008, 06:14 AM

Sorry for you and him, after rain, sun shines

Hydro · 10-05-2008, 06:47 AM

Very sorry to hear about this. You need to keep his memory alive and keep doing the things that you both loved to do together. You cannot bring him back, but you can keep him with you. Thoughts and prayers with you and his family.

LittleMrs · 10-05-2008, 07:45 AM

My God take him and keep him, and may He comfort those left behind

bstnsportsfan · 10-05-2008, 07:56 AM

Ben-- Very sorry to hear about your buddy Mike and his family. I send my deepest condelences to you, his family and friends.

Cracker · 10-05-2008, 08:13 AM

Very nice tribute to your friend.... Condolences to his family and you

steelhead130 · 10-05-2008, 03:13 PM

We lost one of our gang this yeat as well. About the same age, heart failure after a car accident that left him paralized from the waist down.
On our first shark trip this year one of the guys took Jeffs fishing hat, put on some of his favorite lures and a pic of him on it. As r
Rob was tight to the first shark, the hat went overboard as a way to say goodbye.
Sorry for your loss,

thundra · 10-05-2008, 04:24 PM

Thanks all. From what I heard from his Mom today, they will be "harvesting" pieces of lung, liver, heart and/or valves, pieces of legbone and other bones, anything that can be salvaged will be salvaged. It is some consolation knowing he can still give. I truly appreciate the all the sentiment.

LittleMrs · 10-05-2008, 04:39 PM

Mike will live on through his giving. Although he had to leave this earth he is saving lives and making others lives better. There is NO greater gift in the world and I sing a song to Mike in his last triumphant success on this planet. May be surrounded by a choir of angels welcoming him to his new home.

RipTideBBQ · 10-05-2008, 07:19 PM

Very sorry for your loss. I had a hard time reading this. I lost a friend less than a year ago from a massive heart attack. He was 37.