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Guys, I am at the beginning of a divorce with 2 kids a house and alot of assets on her side. How can I make sure she is truthfull about her finances? She makes aprox 100k and has alot of money tied up in 401Ks and I have about 50k the house is worth about 350k and we have been paying for 11 years.
What can I expect as far as money goes? She says she does not have a lawyer but I dont believe her, What should be my next move to make sure everything is equal and I dont get screwed.
Can anyone recomend a good divorce lawyer in Tampa?
First of all, were I you I 'd edit this to delete your post, and find a good attorney, either through the yellow pages or by personal recomndation. A message board is no place to look for this kind of advice.
First of all, were I you I 'd edit this to delete your post, and find a good attorney, either through the yellow pages or by personal recomndation. A message board is no place to look for this kind of advice.
I second that, get this information off the web. This is private information and god knows how it could be used in or out of context during the settlement. Posting like this really looks bad. Goodluck-make sure to save your boat first and foremost
Get a good attorney who only does divorce work. Do not use someone who does not specialize. If you know an attorney who practices a different type of law, ask for a referral. They are all going to be expensive, get a good one. I'm in Orlando and Orlando magazine just ran a piece on "The Best Lawyers in Central Florida". Maybe you can find a similar article in Tampa.
__________________ 2003 Sea Pro 220 CC
2003 Yamaha 200 HPDI
2009 Ace Dual Axle Trailer
Rule #1: Shut up.
Rule #2: Get an attorney that is the best you can afford.
Rule #3: Now.
Rule #4: Do NOT post anything about this on internet boards, ever again. These are discussions for you and your attorney.
Now, as an attorney in Florida, I have given you the best advice I could possibly give you, without specializing in family law. Not sure about those "Best of" magazines. I was listed as a "best of" in Criminal Law, as an up and comer. Funny, I haven't practiced criminal law in over 11 years, and then, I was a prosecutor, so... don't assume because an attorney is listed or has a reputation he or she is good.
Best way to find a decent attorney is via referral. Don't know many folks in the Tampa area, but know some nearby who may be able to help with a recommendation. Not sure. If you want, PM me and I will get you some contact info.
Now, sorry to hear about your divorce. I always tell my clients that once the love is gone, you just have to look at it as a business deal. Not sure where I read/heard that, but it may have even been on this site. Some of the best and most sage advice I have ever heard in dealing with this topic.
Now, go back and review the rules above. Good luck.
Sorry guys for asking this... just curious... could you explain me what's the problem on asking for advice in this matter on a public forum??? what could be the consequences..???
I'm asking, just because I would have done the same as Dave M... and can not imagine how this could be used against me...
Again sorry for my ignorance... and Dave, sorry for your situation...
__________________ The "Ideal Society" is where there's "Maximize Freedom and Responsibility for the Individual". Where people have the right to live their own lives as they see fit as long as their not hurting anyone else with their Freedom.
Please, ask me who said it.
"Dr. Ron Paul cured my apathy"
Jesus wears a bracelet that says "What Would Ron Paul Do"
If you have to ask................................
Secondly, you sure as sheet don't want to ask a bunch of boater/fishermen! Take the above advice and get a good lawyer who handles only divorce cases. Good luck Dave and hold on tight.
My advice is that you get in there and fix whatever it is that you did that f*cked up your marriage. And if it wasn’t your fault then I suggest you help her get her act together, forgive her, and get on with your marriage. Unless there is extreme and constant physical abuse in the family, the losers in all of this will be the two children. Remember, whatever it is that brought the two of you together in love 11-years ago is still alive and still there today. And if you can’t see that it is because the two of you have gotten yourselves tangled up in your own individual selfishness. Rethink this whole divorce thing.
Now with that said, when you venture into the legal system you are entering one of the most corrupt arenas in the United States, perhaps evening the world. It is a sham of ol’ boy networking. Lawyers and judges (lawyers with robes) fraternize both in and out of the courthouse. You know you have a problem as soon as the judge and any lawyer start referring to each other by first names. Doesn’t matter if it is your lawyer or the opposing lawyer, it is a sign there can be no ‘fair’ consideration of your case on the judges part. For the most part the way laws are written they are fair. The way those laws are implemented by the court is not.
From what I hear family law is the worst, most corrupt. The lawyers come before the same judge several times a day on different cases. So your case is this morning and the judge is in a bad mood and comes down too hard on you, because you are the dad. And the lawyer has to come before this same judge this afternoon on a sensitive issue for a preferred client. Do you think your lawyer is willing to pissing off the judge this morning to get justice in your case and risk messing up the case of the preferred client this afternoon? And what if you lawyer pissed off that judge last month? What of your lawyer pissed off the judge this morning, and now, this afternoon, you come before the same judge…now the same pissed-off-at-your-lawyer judge? Do you think the judge is going to be fair to you and your case?
For the reasons I mention above, and others, you want to find a lawyer that is in another county, one that does not normally practice in your county. This comes closer to assuring you get someone that is working to your best interest first, and the system second. I cannot stress enough the value of a competent lawyer from OUTSIDE of the county where the filing occurs.
If you are still determined to go through with this divorce thing I suggest you plan on taking a couple days off and going down to the courthouse and watching how it all works. You want to see the morning session where the ‘short’ causes are heard, and also the afternoon sessions where the ‘long’ causes are heard. And be sure you attend a session for restraining orders, sometimes held once a week if not an emergency hearing.
My advice is that you get in there and fix whatever it is that you did that f*cked up your marriage. And if it wasn’t your fault then I suggest you help her get her act together, forgive her, and get on with your marriage. Unless there is extreme and constant physical abuse in the family, the losers in all of this will be the two children. Remember, whatever it is that brought the two of you together in love 11-years ago is still alive and still there today. And if you can’t see that it is because the two of you have gotten yourselves tangled up in your own individual selfishness. Rethink this whole divorce thing.
Now with that said, when you venture into the legal system you are entering one of the most corrupt arenas in the United States, perhaps evening the world. It is a sham of ol’ boy networking. Lawyers and judges (lawyers with robes) fraternize both in and out of the courthouse. You know you have a problem as soon as the judge and any lawyer start referring to each other by first names. Doesn’t matter if it is your lawyer or the opposing lawyer, it is a sign there can be no ‘fair’ consideration of your case on the judges part. For the most part the way laws are written they are fair. The way those laws are implemented by the court is not.
From what I hear family law is the worst, most corrupt. The lawyers come before the same judge several times a day on different cases. So your case is this morning and the judge is in a bad mood and comes down too hard on you, because you are the dad. And the lawyer has to come before this same judge this afternoon on a sensitive issue for a preferred client. Do you think your lawyer is willing to pissing off the judge this morning to get justice in your case and risk messing up the case of the preferred client this afternoon? And what if you lawyer pissed off that judge last month? What of your lawyer pissed off the judge this morning, and now, this afternoon, you come before the same judge…now the same pissed-off-at-your-lawyer judge? Do you think the judge is going to be fair to you and your case?
For the reasons I mention above, and others, you want to find a lawyer that is in another county, one that does not normally practice in your county. This comes closer to assuring you get someone that is working to your best interest first, and the system second. I cannot stress enough the value of a competent lawyer from OUTSIDE of the county where the filing occurs.
If you are still determined to go through with this divorce thing I suggest you plan on taking a couple days off and going down to the courthouse and watching how it all works. You want to see the morning session where the ‘short’ causes are heard, and also the afternoon sessions where the ‘long’ causes are heard. And be sure you attend a session for restraining orders, sometimes held once a week if not an emergency hearing.
If you have to ask................................
Secondly, you sure as sheet don't want to ask a bunch of boater/fishermen! Take the above advice and get a good lawyer who handles only divorce cases. Good luck Dave and hold on tight.
Usually when I ask something in this forum not related to boating, I just listen, and take everything with a grain of salt....
But sometimes when you are totally clueless on certain issue, every opinion is good to form your own judgement...
While you may get a bunch of advice from other boaters, I doubt that many lawyers will give you advice, at the risk of creating a lawyer-client relationship.
Just went through this and everyone is correct. The family court is the most corrupt and unfair of all courts. The rulings tend to be extremely 1 sided and the family court seems to have jurisdiction over all the other courts and can ever rule against there own laws. You can appeal but that takes years before your case is even heard. I would not post anything on the net because it can be used negatively against you in court. Anything you do can. I disagree with the above post, get the best lawyer who knows everyone and can work the system in your county. This worked well for me in terms of getting things done as quickly as possible and it still took over a year.
My best advise it to get the BEST lawyer you can find, no matter the cost and be prepared for a very expensive damaging divorce. Both of you will loose everything and have to start over. The best outcome is a settlement out of court.
It’s no wonder people are not getting married any more. I guarantee you I NEVER will again after this experience. I was only married a couple of years.
... The best outcome is a settlement out of court.
Let's see that again: THE BEST OUTCOME IS A SETTLEMENT OUT OF COURT!!!
You are absolutely 100% correct. Unfortunately it presumes opposing parties can behave as adults. If the could they probably wouldn't be getting a divorce in the first place, but it doesn't hurt to hope anyways.
Talk to any of your buddies that make a descent living and have gotten the short end of the stick going through a divorce and hire his ex wifes lawyer. In my experience a female divorce lawyer can be your best bet, provided your are not in the wrong. If it's a mutual agreement you should be able to reach a amicable agreement.
In a marriage, often someone is not happy. In a divorce no one is happy. Like the stock market there are peaks and lows, but as long as the trend is upward you win. Once you're in it, you gotta stay in to win it. Don't bail unless it is amicable. There is no nirvana. If you are miserable in marriage to the point of wanting to hurt someone or seek revenge it is not about the union, it is about one or both of you having extenuating personal issues. That can be worked out through other avenues. If you go through contested divorce you will still be miserable, just in a crappier version of your last lifestyle. I have a few friends that blamed the depressing condition of their situations on their marriage. That's a human instinct, to defray the consequences of neglected personal responsibility on others. It's a self preservation reflex. When the dust cleared they realized this all too late. Way too late.
If you both are resigned to the fact that you do not love one another and are just "going through the motions" but still respect the other, then decide to come to an agreement out of court and go your separate ways. Be as generous as you can with the 'material'. Better to "give it up" than have it surrendered. Same goes with custody of the children. Do not use them as weapons. Perhaps a custody hearing with clear roles for child support is in order to protect everyone involved. Contested legal divorce can screw with your credit rating. Starting over with poor credit is worse than starting at eighteen with no credit.
Good luck. But, if it comes to it, by all means; scuttle the boat. My wife and kids on my Whaler with her new boy friend? My ass.
Need divorce lawyer help 
