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Random Quote: Fishy, Fishy, Bite my Hook! You be dinner, I be COOK!
Just when I thought I had seen and heard it all, it turns out my aunt is psychic and has been receiving instructions from my deceased grandfather whereby she was able to convince my recently deceased grandmother to change his will about 12 years ago.
I'm so proud. Trust me, you don't even want to hear more than just this part of this story. Somebody PLEASE come to me and tell me you gave me up for adoption 49 years ago. I'm afraid my gene pool is going to kick in, and I'll simply float off the face of the planet one day while out riding in my boat.
Oh yeah, the funeral plans got changed as my aunt doesn't like the preacher at Mamaw's church. The service will be held at another church, Piney Mountain Methodist in Candler, NC where Papaw first became involved in the ministry over 60 years ago. The service is set for 11AM next Monday as auntie didn't want to have to worry about it until after her high school class reunion this Saturday in Swannanoa. I wonder if she has had any premonitions about my foot sticking in her... never mind.
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"If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"
1974 Hatteras 58TC "Freebird", 1965 Hatteras 41DC "Nancy Cay", For Sale - Click HERE for info
When I found out my crazy aunt had screwed up the plans for a proper funeral for my grandmother, I called my cousin, her oldest daughter, to see if she had any influence on her mother. When she answered her phone, I told her, "If there is anything you need to tell your mother you better do it today because I'm driving to NC tomorrow to kill her." She laughed and asked what was going on. Turns out, she doesn't have much to do with her mother.
She did however tell her sister and brother who "warned" my aunt about her impending demise. I sat through the little last minute memorial at Papaw's church Sunday after the regular service, and I even made it through lunch before I just had to say my peace. My aunt then informed me she knew of the threat I had made on her life! I laughed out loud and told her to call a cop!
Oh man, this funeral service next Monday should be one to remember. I wonder if anybody would notice if I booted my aunt into the grave on top of Mamaw while nobody was looking, and a backhoe just happened to dump some dirt on top of her!
Maybe the family would get a discount for a two-fer!
As for you DunBinGagged, no disrespect intended, but I'll trade you my living mother for your dead one! Note the lack of an emoticon after that statement.
__________________
"If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"
1974 Hatteras 58TC "Freebird", 1965 Hatteras 41DC "Nancy Cay", For Sale - Click HERE for info
My grandparents had to have their locks changed because of a crazy aunt of mine. My aunt had tryed to sell items not belonging to her out of my grandparnets house. The items belonged to my grandparents. Freaking crazies.
At least their offspring (my cousin) is very sane and very normal. He knows his mom is crazy.
My cousins came into my grandparents house two days after Papaw's funeral and used stickers to place their name on things they wanted when Mamaw died. Needless to say, the fruit didn't fall too far from the fruit tree where they are concerned.
I have a younger adopted sister who I have told to be thankful she really isn't related to us. Another story you don't want to hear, but we had a good laugh about it.
It's easier when you can laugh about things like this rather than just being angry with those who would tarnish the image of my grandparents. I suppose goodness has to skip a generation from time to time to keep things in check. Otherwise, we'd all do the right things. What fun would that be? Kinda like The Bilge without AdamT.
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"If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"
1974 Hatteras 58TC "Freebird", 1965 Hatteras 41DC "Nancy Cay", For Sale - Click HERE for info
Anybody Here With Insane Family Members? 
