Dockside Chat - Guess He Messed With the Wrong Marine

Not sure if this is true but it sure is funny!
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 ..45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

Sounded real till it got to calling the DA's office. Still funny

Sounded real till it got to calling the DA's office. Still funny

I dunno...I raised an eyebrow at the Kimber.

They make a fine gun but I see this guy carrying a Glock and his girl would certainly know his preference.

Its an oldie............Seen it few years ago.... great story though.

Wish the justice system worked that way. Sometimes it does.............

True Story........

Back in college 2 teamates and I were returning from ice hockey practice at 1 AM. As I walked toward my new (to me) car I could see the dome light on. In the car was a guy under the dash trying to steal it. His girlfriend was in the passenger seat.

We ran up to the car carrying our sticks and hockey bags and confronted him. We called out for police, keeping him pinned in the car holding our hockey sticks up high. They rushed out of the car, his girlfriend pulls a large knife out of her bag, hands it to him and he lunges at us. He tried stabbing us several times.

My buddies slashed him across the forearm and head. He went down, but would not let go of the knife.
We pinned him down to the pavement on his face. My friend bash his hand with his stick until he let go of the knife. (and maybe a few extra times) His hand looked like a sack of rocks. His forearm broken.( Good old fashioned wooden stick, not the ultra-light composites of today). Bashed his face on the street over and over. Was a swollen bloody mess. Cops showed up and took him away.

After they took him away, I walked back to my car. His gilfriend's purse was under the driver's side door. When I picked it up she ran over to me screaming and demanding her bag back.. I walked down the block a little and threw it down the sewer as she stood there screaming.

Thanks again to my buddies and teamates Jim M and Rick L....Columbia College '78